philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Hello, girlfriend of 4 months broke up with me last week. A month ago I gave her a second chance, after she disrespected me in front of a guy she was flirting with in a bar, she was drunk, and talking with a guy for about 15 20 mins, fixing his hair saying it looked good, then turns to me and points and tells me she definitely makes more money than me. I ended up given her a second chance. So we were walking around town last Saturday, I was very negative for the day, we went back to hers and had food and drinks, got a little too drunk. I shared some things that is going on with my family that I never told her, then She brought up what happend in the bar again, and I got pissed off, telling her that it was her that did it and not me. Called her an a**h*** and left. Cycled home pretty drunk, which was stupid. Called her the next day, to apologise, but she said she needs some time to see were she is at. So rings me Tuesday to say that she does not feel sacure in the relationship, feels that I'll break up with her and and wanted to finish it. She did this all over the phone. Just looking to vent and get different perspectives, thanks.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 As we mentioned in the last thread, this woman comes with warning flags. You are better off apart. Neither of you were feeling it anymore, for different reasons. 1
trident_2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Are you only verbally abusive when you're drunk? 1
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 2 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: Are you only verbally abusive when you're drunk? No.
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 15 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: As we mentioned in the last thread, this woman comes with warning flags. You are better off apart. Neither of you were feeling it anymore, for different reasons. Yeah thanks for your responses, just a difficult one, because we got on great other wise.
trident_2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 You need to work on the abusive behavior.
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 Just now, trident_2020 said: You need to work on the abusive behavior. Which is?
trident_2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Calling your girlfriend an A-Hole is verbally abusive.
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 1 minute ago, trident_2020 said: Calling your girlfriend an A-Hole is verbally abusive. Yes I know what it is, and I ment it.
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 1 minute ago, trident_2020 said: You asked me, I answered. Would be very rare for me to call someone an a hole or the likes. Hardly a major red flag.
notbroken Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Consider it a 'win' and learn from it. Don't tolerate flirting (you should have broken up with her then). Don't call your girlfriends names. Watch your drinking. 2
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 Just now, notbroken said: Consider it a 'win' and learn from it. Don't tolerate flirting (you should have broken up with her then). Don't call your girlfriends names. Watch your drinking. Thanks for you're reply, yeah you're right should not have called her a name and definitely need to watch my drinking
trident_2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 16 minutes ago, philthebill said: Would be very rare for me to call someone an a hole or the likes. Hardly a major red flag. People who aren't abusive to their significant others don't call them names- EVER. 2
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 1 minute ago, trident_2020 said: People who aren't abusive to their significant others don't call them names- EVER. OK, thanks for the input
kismetkismet Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 When you stay with people that treat you badly, it brings out the worst in you. If someone treats you poorly, you just leave. You don't stick around and punish them for their crappy behaviour with even worse behaviour of your own.
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 10 minutes ago, kismetkismet said: When you stay with people that treat you badly, it brings out the worst in you. If someone treats you poorly, you just leave. You don't stick around and punish them for their crappy behaviour with even worse behaviour of your own. Yeah think I've some work to do also
MsJayne Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 I remember your first thread about this chick. You're right. She is an a--hole. And there's nothing wrong with telling someone the truth, though perhaps Trident is right and you should have been more polite - perhaps called her a "Faecal Matter Exit Point" or something along those lines.
kismetkismet Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, philthebill said: Yeah think I've some work to do also It's great that you recognize that. The work will also be much easier if you don't date people that openly disrespect you. People make mistakes, but it doesn't sound like she even really felt bad about her behaviour. I've stuck around in relationships with people that treated me badly hoping their behaviour would change and it made me dislike myself as much as them because I would react poorly to their garbage behaviour. Date people who bring out the best in you.
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 47 minutes ago, MsJayne said: I remember your first thread about this chick. You're right. She is an a--hole. And there's nothing wrong with telling someone the truth, though perhaps Trident is right and you should have been more polite - perhaps called her a "Faecal Matter Exit Point" or something along those lines. Like I was pretty drunk, should never have drank wine after beer, but obviously I am still hung up on what she did at the bar. I've never actually stormed out of anywhere in my life
trident_2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, philthebill said: Like I was pretty drunk, should never have drank wine after beer Doesn't matter. Just another urban legend that won't disappear anytime soon.
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 4 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: Doesn't matter. Just another urban legend that won't disappear anytime soon. What doesn't matter?
trident_2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 It doesn't matter that you drank wine after beer. It does matter that you drink too much alcohol.
Author philthebill Posted November 30, 2020 Author Posted November 30, 2020 3 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: It doesn't matter that you drank wine after beer. It does matter that you drink too much alcohol. Oh yeah I know I drank too much alcohol, as I've already said. Beer + wine equals more alcohol...
trident_2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 Ok I thought you were under the common misconception that switching from beer to wine or to another type of alcohol makes you more drunk. It won't have that effect unless of course you switch to a drink that has a higher alcohol content. 1
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