What kind of woman can I attract if I want to keep very low standards for myself and set high expectations for my future partner?

[boblob]

And I even cant get 1 virgin wife.

[Caauug]

38 minutes ago, boblob said:

And I even cant get 1 virgin wife.

Why would you want that? 

The bloke I mentioned above.... Yes some of them would have been virgins. One girl he had moved in when she was 14, she had no where to live. The parents were divorced, the mother had poisoned the girl with lies about the father. The mother was headed off to jail for dealing, likely where he first met the daughter... Another ex GF spent some time in jail (after him) for "Wrongful death"?? She let a young man die and didn't report the incident.

Most end up to be junkies, dealers or damaged goods... Not wife material....

If you don't understand something I talk about below, use "Google" to help explain. I can not expand any more.

Fix yourself first. No woman/girl/wife will want to be your mother once she is married to you. If you are looking for a replacement for your mother that will have sex with you, good luck.... At the least they are looking for an equal (She would be a unicorn), most are looking at the top 20% of the men out there, that is where you have to be!!! Start working on the "Six Sixes".... Change what you can.

Educate yourself on what women want and act like. Disney movies are all a lie, love and life is not like that. What worked last generation will not work this generation, times change, people change, expectations change. "Virgin Wife" is something that MAY have been possible 50 yrs ago.... Or maybe if you live in small town Idaho, anywhere else if she's only been on the carousel for a few years that's as close as you are going to get. It's not something you want anyway.... 

You have to be the most you can be to attract a quality high SMV female. Laying in your parents basement playing games and watching XXX flicks is not going to do it. 

When a woman picks a man.... Yes, she picks. She wants the best she can get. Read up about Hypergamy (the broader meaning) and Briffault's Law. Education in the key to understanding yourself, the people around you and the expectations of you. 

You don't have to fall down every "Rabbit Hole" I have mentioned above. 

I wonder what will be left after the mods get done with this post..... Likely nothing.

[Taramere]

13 hours ago, boblob said:

I am not efficient worker.
I always try to make less work then others do, extending my breaks more.
Avoiding extra work.
Never using my full potential, leaving space for few steps back.
I also avoid more difficult tasks - who would be useful for corporation. I even dont try to figure out how.
Being sluggish in general.
I also never report bad workers and renegades, nor encouraging others to work better.
I am friendly to new employees - but neutral/cold to old ones.
I never say bad word to new employees, i even say 'never mind, its fine' even if they make mistakes.

I feel like you've been reading A Confederacy of Dunces, and it's inspired you to start an entertaining thread about being unflinchingly committed to the business of slacking off.  On the other hand, lots of people are unflinchingly committed to that business without ever having picked up a book in their lives.

As for the sort of woman you'd attract, two main types of people spring to mind.  One would be somebody who very much shares this outlook, and might be able to present you with some ideas for slacking off work that haven't occurred to you yet.   It would be a meeting of minds, in what would end up being a very messy, cluttered environment.  You'd probably be a very non-judgmental, accepting sort of couple to know, but eating a meal in your home could be a dangerous business.  Another type of person might be a compulsive cleaner who turns up on your doorstep dressed in a hazmat suit and emanating a steely determination to change you and your life.  

My vote would tend to go with the former sort of woman - ie the fellow slacker.  It could work, so long as the two of you didn't mind the messy and unhygienic consequences of constantly slacking off.  I might be wrong, but it's hard to imagine somebody valuing slacking off to quite the extent that you do, and simultaneously live in a clean and tidy home.  The two of you might be very content together, but if you intended to have children without having any accompanying intention to seriously mend your ways, then that could have some very negative outcomes.  So in a nutshell, if you really are this committed to slacking off...superficially people might find it quite amusing, but the longer term consequences could be very unhappy ones.  I think most women, even if they liked you and found you attractive, would probably steer clear for that reason.

Are you thinking about changing your mindset and starting to set higher standards for yourself, or is the intention to carry on as you are and see how it turns out?

 

[Angelle]

I guess you would attract a woman who has very little self-esteem. It depends on what you mean by high standards for her, and low standards for yourself. 

[Angelle]

3 hours ago, boblob said:

And I even cant get 1 virgin wife.

Why is this important?

[boblob]

1 hour ago, Angelle said:

Why is this important?

I think it will bothers me constantly.
 

 

2 hours ago, Taramere said:

I feel like you've been reading A Confederacy of Dunces, and it's inspired you to start an entertaining thread about being unflinchingly committed to the business of slacking off.  On the other hand, lots of people are unflinchingly committed to that business without ever having picked up a book in their lives.

As for the sort of woman you'd attract, two main types of people spring to mind.  One would be somebody who very much shares this outlook, and might be able to present you with some ideas for slacking off work that haven't occurred to you yet.   It would be a meeting of minds, in what would end up being a very messy, cluttered environment.  You'd probably be a very non-judgmental, accepting sort of couple to know, but eating a meal in your home could be a dangerous business.  Another type of person might be a compulsive cleaner who turns up on your doorstep dressed in a hazmat suit and emanating a steely determination to change you and your life.  

My vote would tend to go with the former sort of woman - ie the fellow slacker.  It could work, so long as the two of you didn't mind the messy and unhygienic consequences of constantly slacking off.  I might be wrong, but it's hard to imagine somebody valuing slacking off to quite the extent that you do, and simultaneously live in a clean and tidy home.  The two of you might be very content together, but if you intended to have children without having any accompanying intention to seriously mend your ways, then that could have some very negative outcomes.  So in a nutshell, if you really are this committed to slacking off...superficially people might find it quite amusing, but the longer term consequences could be very unhappy ones.  I think most women, even if they liked you and found you attractive, would probably steer clear for that reason.

Are you thinking about changing your mindset and starting to set higher standards for yourself, or is the intention to carry on as you are and see how it turns out?

 

My sexual desires was not fullfilled during teens. I had to survive pain alot.
I got your point, but how do you expect that I 'Improve something" while I am already burned out and unhappy.

Why others got sex for free during teens ?
Why I have work hard for that, and still get 'used up' woman?

[Taramere]

25 minutes ago, boblob said:

I think it will bothers me constantly.
 

 

My sexual desires was not fullfilled during teens. I had to survive pain alot.
I got your point, but how do you expect that I 'Improve something" while I am already burned out and unhappy.

Why others got sex for free during teens ?
Why I have work hard for that, and still get 'used up' woman?

If you're feeling so burned out and unhappy that the idea of improving yourself seems like an impossible goal, then I think you're going to need some professional intervention.  The thing is that whether that would involve medication or some counselling, it does require effort from you in order to be effective.  If you're feeling bleak anyway, the temptation is going to be to dismiss anything and everything before you've even tried it, which will inevitably result in you failing to get the best out of any help that's on offer.   Opportunities for getting help aren't unlimited, so when you get those opportunities you really do need to be ready to make the best of them.  

Usually the best way of bringing about improvements to your life tends to involve babysteps.  Men who are struggling often get advice that's along the lines of "here's my advice which, so long as you put it into practice, will bring an abundance of beautiful women into your life".  There's a lot of that kind of dodgy advice out there, which promises the sun, moon and stars and then holds you blameworthy when it fails to deliver.  

Women, incidentally, aren't some prize that there's a guaranteed delivery on so long as you make improvements to your life.  Women are people too, with their own issues, dreams, obstacles etc.  There are phrases being used here about women like "used up" or "damaged goods" and as long as you hold a mindset like that I think it's going to be very difficult for you to form a meaningful connection with a woman of any sort.  Also, talking about other human beings in those terms isn't going to encourage you to feel better about yourself.  

But returning to babysteps, I think that's what's required for you.  So right now it may well be that you need to put aside notions of long term goals and simply focus on an immediate goal of shifting into  a frame of mind where you might actually get something beneficial out of any help others are willing/able to give you.  

The link below will take you to an article that's about preparing for therapy - which, hopefully, your doctor will be able to refer you for.  Again, it's about taking some responsibility, so that when others show willingness to help you you will actually get something beneficial from that help.  I wish you the best of luck.

https://timewith.co.uk/blog/starting-therapy-how-to-prepare-for-your-first-session

 

[SumGuy]

5 hours ago, boblob said:

....
Why others got sex for free during teens ?
Why I have work hard for that, and still get 'used up' woman?

Yikes!   Sounds a bit misogynistic, does "used up" mean not a virgin?  Or god forbid she as had prior relationships.

Never saw anyone get "sex for free" even the guys who many girls liked still had to put in some effort.

[Miss Spider]

Maybe I misunderstood your question. It  but it sounds like you’re asking what are your chances of attracting a woman with generally desirable characteristics when you have generally very undesirable characteristics and no intention to ameliorate that? 
 

I’d say pretty slim. 
 

edit oh wait you’re the “wall” guy. Yeah, just wait ‘til she hits the wall

Edited December 5, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Wiseman2]

On 12/3/2020 at 7:31 AM, boblob said:

I think it will bothers me constantly.
 

 

My sexual desires was not fullfilled during teens. I had to survive pain alot.
I got your point, but how do you expect that I 'Improve something" while I am already burned out and unhappy.

Why others got sex for free during teens ?
Why I have work hard for that, and still get 'used up' woman?

Hopefully you realize that "incels" was shut down on reddit for being classified as a  hate group in the US by  the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC).

You may not know that if you're not in the US, but it's important not take your frustration this far.

Edited December 5, 2020 by Wiseman2