ZA Dater Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 15 hours ago, Harry Haller said: If I had a GF, I might be able to pretend to share her interests to keep her around. With respect you are wrong about this BUT I believe the same as you. I think for guys with no luck we look in on things and perceive things in a very inflexible way and we do not see the grey areas, that is not our fault. The only way to move forward is to walk forward. Decide how you want that walk to be and start walking. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 17 hours ago, Harry Haller said: ... Being alone for so long, my interests have probably diverged from mainstream of society. I could connect with other men for friendship if I really wanted to, but what am I supposed to do? You would be surprised how many people might share your interests, the internet certainly help. Of course it seems the story of my life that have been repeatedly told that "no one shares my interests" (by those who look down on them) to find a whole world that does, with nary of the negative stereotypes was told people who shared them had. I got some pretty geeky and esoteric interests. Quote Its difficult to pretend to share interests with others. If I had a GF, I might be able to pretend to share her interests to keep her around. Yes it can be. Don't pretend, think of an aspect you can have interest in, even if it is just learning about it from them. The key to doing this is to open your mind, to throw away all your preconceptions and prior experience and try to see the fun they see in it. At the very least enjoy their enjoyment and passion for it. It's not 100% but certainly helps. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 Yep, that's the deal. You shouldn't fiegn interest, you can try to share/learn others and your interests. But if you want a relationship you're going to have to do some stuff once in a while you're not crazy about like shopping or watching romcoms or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
cbr600r Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 (edited) On 12/10/2020 at 12:20 PM, Harry Haller said: No psychologist. Whether I can or can't connect with men, I don't know. I probably can. I don't have much interest in that right now. Being alone for so long, my interests have probably diverged from mainstream of society. I could connect with other men for friendship if I really wanted to, but what am I supposed to do? Pretend I share their interests, that I may not be interested in? Its difficult to pretend to share interests with others. If I had a GF, I might be able to pretend to share her interests to keep her around. Do you have any genuine interests or hobbies at all? I mean things that will allow you to connect with other like-minded individuals so you don't have to PRETEND to share their interests? Have you ever tried online dating? It sounds like you have bigger problems, and not being able to get a girlfriend is just the tip of the iceberg. Are you on the autism spectrum? Do you have social anxiety? Is there something you're not telling us? IMO the best thing to do would be start seeing a therapist so you at least have someone to discuss these problems with in person and they can give you an honest appraisal of where you might be going wrong. It sounds to me like you've been too sheltered in life (I mean you're a middle-aged man still living with parents, were segregated from the opposite sex growing up) and this is where much of your problems stem from. Edited December 16, 2020 by cbr600r Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 On 12/9/2020 at 9:35 PM, Harry Haller said: What is "game"? Being an interesting confident male... Making a good first impression... The ability to chit-chat... The ability to be interesting... Being happy and fun to be around... Being able to plan fun and interesting dates based on hints dropped by the woman during chit-chat. The ability to listen to the woman and reading between the lines.... When to a agree with the woman, when to take the middle ground on controversial subjects and when not to speak. I think it a lot of "game" is just common sense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 (edited) I think its more of a fear. Fear of rejection, fear of maybe being laughed at, fear of being dressed down or insulted, fear of the unknown, etc. I think a lot of men use excuses so they don't have to face that "in person" fear. If I have a goal, I try to overcome the obstacles that are in the way of achieving that goal. If "fear" is one of them, I'll face that fear and take its power away. Edited December 18, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator clean up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 Growing up religieus shouldnt nake you akward. It may be that the people that should guide you or the religion you grew up in misguided you. But hey, no life is perfect.You can learn everything now you a adult. And being virgin still is good. Cause sex is for marriage. Women are no weird creature.They are just humans like you,but they go more by emotions.Means they are often more emotional. Im sure you grew up with your mom,and had female teachers and classmates.So you did experience women generally. You can read dating books or of any topics.many youtube videos online to.you can get a therapist, a dating coach, you can also just socialize with females,and get to know them that way. Go to many ativities ans just socialize as freinds. Its not so scary as it seems.Just start as freinds,be yoirself. and if its someone you feel like you liking her more ask her out and take her to a nice place, and at so.e point let her know you like her and what she feels for you. If its same,ask her if she wants to be your girlfreind. Link to post Share on other sites
Calendula Posted February 12, 2021 Share Posted February 12, 2021 I found this thread today while looking for some other insight and I think it might help you to read it. All of it. Link to post Share on other sites
HotRevolver93 Posted February 26, 2021 Share Posted February 26, 2021 It’s hilarious but I cringed during the poker scene because I’ve personally been there. Link to post Share on other sites
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