Am I hurting her?

[cluelessguy122]

I (20M) have a close relationship with my friend of three years (21F). We dated for ~3 months recently, and split about a month ago for various reasons. Primarily because we have very different future paths and we were both dating for the potential we saw in each other, allowing us to overlook things we weren't happy with about each other. Needless to say, we were back to talking quickly afterwards, and back to being best friends. We decided to add FWB into the situation, which actually hasn't been too complicated, it's just made things more fun. BUT just this weekend she was out of town visiting friends and consistently texting me how much she missed me and wished I was there. They ended up going out to bars last night, and I received texts like "I hate you, but, I love you", "We're going home right now but al I want to do is go home and climb in bed with you". I'm not too familiar with drunk texts, but everything I've ever heard about drunk words is that they reflect the sober heart. We've said we love each other in the past, does this mean she's been struggling with resurfacing emotions recently? If so, I'm not sure what I would do. Clearly, if being dating isn't an option anymore and FWB brings too many emotions back, something must change. I feel like even spending a lot of time together as we do (best friends) could be risky if there are resurfacing emotions. I don't wan't to loose my best friend or have to change the amount of time we spend together (or FWB situation), what do I do? Am I hurting her by being FWB and best friends that do a lot together?

tl:dr My ex (21F) (best friend of 3 years, recently dated for a few months to try it out) drunk text me last night. We spend a lot of time together and are FWB, is this hurting her emotionally? 

[Wiseman2]

It seems more like you are hurting yourself in this scenario.

You are actively engaging in a nebulous, emotionally charged situation that prevents you from finding a real GF.

As long as you choose to coast along in this neither here nor there situationship, you'll be too busy deciphering drunk texting, her feelings,etc. while missing out.

No women are going to give you a second look as long as you drag this out with her.

In the meantime, keep in mind that she can and will meet others and eventually you'll be cut off.

[MsJayne]

No idea whether you're hurting her, but even if you remain besties you're never going to find a real girlfriend who would put up with the "friendship" given the history of it. 

[kismetkismet]

It sounds like she just has weird/mixed feelings about you, which makes sense given your circumstances.

Situations like this never last long because once one of you meets someone else, they're never going to be ok with the 'friendship' the two of you have - and rightly so. You're young, so it's not a big deal, a lot of people have been there. Just know that a messy situation like this is not a real lasting friendship (and I say this as someone with a male best friend).