Ruff Ryder Posted November 16, 2005 Share Posted November 16, 2005 Whats up mate? Seems you doing a little bit better. Look mate about the letter i dont really see a problem with righting her one. Just keep it to the point no I NEED YOU or I MISS YOU, Just a simple you will always be part of my life will do fine. Other than that hows all going? On my side its ok bit wild but good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 16, 2005 Author Share Posted November 16, 2005 thanks for asking Ruff, you seem better anyway, its hard for us all but a bit easier if you know you are being used of manipulated like i think you were treated! i had this happen to me in the past! i'd love to return to the way things were, all the music scene etc. this is hard to keep away from as well as all my life plans with her... we have too many mutual friends, she met me through me going out alone and talking to my university pal who i hadn't seen in years, there are a lot of links which are hard to severe or even want to be severed! today i managed to do little bits of work and I did it to my usual standard but i'm nowhere near what i'm usually like, just doing some work for my mother i haven't ate in 3 days at all, i've never had such a loss of appetite and the thought of food makes me sick... literally sick! to be honest i don't know about a letter, i'd like to let her know how I feel but then she already knows how I feel about her, i'd love her to be part of my life and always be but then again I can't handle that i've been walking around in circles all day and find it impossible to think that I won't be with her, i am also starting to look at things I possibly could have done to stop this... really destructive thinking! things like I shouldn't have walked out of the chinese takeaway ( just around the corner from my house ) on her but i was drunk and didn't even know I did this... although she didn't turn up at my house and went to a party and I was worried about her so both of us did things... things which were easily forgiven! Link to post Share on other sites
mazza32cott Posted November 16, 2005 Share Posted November 16, 2005 As hard as it is yoou need to stop torturing yourelf and move on. You are harming yourself and this is not good. Get better so you can give your heart to one who is deserving of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 thanks but i can't move on or i don't even want to move one, i couldn't imagine being with anyone except her.... she is beautiful... i love her... i've done the singles thing for too many years... it is horrible and unattractive and i don't want to go back to all that crap i will try and stop torturing myself for i was good to her and told her on our last day together that she was a godess and I wanted to treat her like one the rest of her life, i told her i wanted to tell her at least once a day how much i loved her even if it was to her work! Link to post Share on other sites
Nikita20 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Have you thought about seeing a counselor? Perhaps that will help clear your mind and help you move on. Because at the rate that you are going, you are torturing yourself and spiraling downwards. You need to focus on yourself and not her. I'm in the same boat as you are. My ex dumped me and it was complete hell. For the first few weeks, I barely ate, didn't sleep, etc. I've maintained the NC for a month, then contacted him about a cleaning bill and went back to NC. So far it has been 2 weeks. I still do think about him, however, I'm finally beginning to accept that it is over. Plus he is seeing someone else, which stacks the odds against me. But, who knows what the future may bring, but I'm not counting on us getting back together. Instead, I'm trying my hardest to move on. It is the only way to go. Otherwise, you will drive yourself insane. I hope this helps. Be strong, you CAN get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 Whats up BRHW how you holding up? Im all good. Listen man it will always be harder then it will get harder and even harder. Then on day you going to wake up and it will start to get easier and easier. In my case it was hard still is hard but hey im alive and living and living it up, it took time but it does start to heal. Every day that you live without her will be a day that you realize that you can live without her (im not saying that you shouldnt) but if things dont turn out the way you planned atleast you know that life is possible without her. So maybe it is time to get all the BOYZ together and have the party of a life time, and dont talk about your ex. Thats what ive been doing and its nice just to get out there, (who knows maybe the girl that is made for you will be there too). See thats the beauty of it all is i cant tell you what is going to happen and niether can you so just let it happen and it will be for the best. Keep your head held high i know its hard and its not what you want to do but just stay strong and possitive thats whaen things will start looking up for you again. So next time i want you to post, BE HAPPY Live long and love it Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 21, 2005 Author Share Posted November 21, 2005 right have been out every weekend night as usual.... i'm driving my mother and friends crazy with all the breakup talk which i hate doing! i know that i can live without her... always did before i met her ... only thing is I really don't want to live without her today felt bad, i am listening to the radio and then my ex comes on! so thats how difficult she is to avoid! i went to a gig tonight but she wasn't there despite her birthday is tomorrow, i sort of secretly hoped she would be there! i got chucked out of a bar last night for falling asleep but i don't really care as its only a meat market, i said to my friend how it was a horrible place before I got threw out anyhow so no loss! so i'm still going out yet tonight i cried my eyes out in front of my best friend and his girlfriend when i was explaining to her what happened! i've never did this before! off the rails! Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Just give yourself time, you'll get past it. She's not in your life anymore and you need to accept that. Don't wish that you'll run into her, you can't think like that or it will keep your mind with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 BRHW give us an update on how you holding up..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted December 7, 2005 Author Share Posted December 7, 2005 Ruff Ryder... what you said about things getting harder is true, i feel truly crap! been doing everything I can to try and move on, there has been zero contact between us, i have contacted old school friends to party with, i force myself to go out, i get out socialising 4 nights a week, i even go out by myself if nobody else is! i force myself to work although it is so hard as I work by myself! although today i contacted a friends brother to suggest working together self employed so we are meeting up on Friday night to work out a deal, both of us would be better off working together, we get on great and we can work hard and are both skillful! thing is despite all this I don't feel any better, i've very reluctantly started taking anti-depressants, i'm taking a herbal remedy for grief, i've hardly slept in weeks, i am exercising, i have avoided the places where my ex would be which is hard as they are some of my favourite places the thing is with this breakup... i've never loved a girl like i did ( still do ) my ex! in the past after breakups i would have been out after a week or so with girls for one night stands ( not sex ) ... this time I just haven't done this, I have no interest in anyone except her, if I went out with a girl I would feel guilty as if i am cheating! i don't know what else I can do... i'm really struggling with this life, time is going so slow, i literally count down the minutes in the day despite keeping busy damn Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Whats up cousin? I know what you talking about. What you feeling is 100% normal. You loved and loss and fear never loving again when in all honesty i fel the same but the hope that maybe just maybr the chace comes around to love agin or get back together keeps me going. As much suffering that i did i still love her i know i do and fighting that fact would make it worce. What you have to keep in mind loss of love in never forever you will love again you will lean from your past and keep in mind that to learn from the past you dont have to live in it, Just keep on going foward all is noy lost the nights will get better and your days brighter just hope and have faith in yourself that what you want you will get. You and you alone controll what you think and feel, so think possitive and fell the love that others have for you friends family and people in genral. Never give up no matter how bumpy the road is because over the hill is a better place a brighter sun and a better night so keep stong keep your dreams and goals in mind and heart at all times. Keep you faith and your head held hgh belive that good things will start to happen and they will... Good luck my friend. Ruff Link to post Share on other sites
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