Ruff Ryder Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 cheers Ruff, i gave her the cd the day she came down for her stuff, i had already made it before, it is on my PC and I can't stop listening to it, there is many of my favourite songs on it i can't feel anymore burnt than I am, I love this girl so much, I just wish she was here to hug her and tell her this, today i haven't even answered my phone, it is probably my mother but the terrible thing is I hate when its not my ex last night i was stuck for friends to head out with so i had to go to the bar she goes to, i knew she wasn't there last night, i talked to her ex and a musician she plays with, luckily I didn't mention her, just small talk! the barman asked me "wheres your missus?" i told him we were broke up and he was shocked, i asked him to say nothing about me being here tonight.... right now she'll be playing down there and she will have known I was there last night... all alone! Whats up? If you want this girl back there are a few things you can try. 1- Find out when and where she is playing next (go there and do someting out ragerous to show her how you feel) when i say outragerous i mean it no half hearted s***. 2- Give her time and space to reliaze what she has lost and to make her miss you. 3- ATTRACTION that is the spark of every realantionship GET it back be funny and cocky with her if she fell for you once she can do so again. 4- Just be yourself if its ment to be it will.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 7, 2005 Author Share Posted November 7, 2005 Whats up? If you want this girl back there are a few things you can try. 1- Find out when and where she is playing next (go there and do someting out ragerous to show her how you feel) when i say outragerous i mean it no half hearted s***. 2- Give her time and space to reliaze what she has lost and to make her miss you. 3- ATTRACTION that is the spark of every realantionship GET it back be funny and cocky with her if she fell for you once she can do so again. 4- Just be yourself if its ment to be it will.. thanks for posting everyone, i just had a very drunk weekend with friends, met up with some old school friends who were great to see again... i desperately miss my ex though, i loved being with her, i was so proud of her, she was great fun and is a natural looker! one of my old school friends told me I shouldn't give up on her and that i shouldn't do NC or dissappear from her life i'm 1/2 considering contacting her in a few weeks to ask her out again for a pint, i'll probably be asked in return to come down to where she is playing where there are mutual friends and no 'what about us talk' can occur! its been about 10 days of NC, i hate it , i worry about her, i want to be with her, she is getting space from me she was formerely attracted to the way i looked and what i was, she was as infatuated with me just like i was about her, i remember looking her up on the internet and reading all the music sites how does a man attract his woman back? i know more or less where she plays every week, especially Saturdays, i've got it in my head that i have to avoid there even though i'd love to go in and have 'the craic' as we say here in Ireland! Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Sorry about your friend dying !! I could never do that to my daughter she would be lost without me !! I don't think noone is worth killing theirselves over just my personal opinion !! I love my daughter too much to put her through that as well as my family!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 7, 2005 Author Share Posted November 7, 2005 yeah I think about him everyday, i understand why he did it, i don't blame him for it, he was trying to end his pain, meanwhile I miss him and he can't come back, i found out he did it over his girl breaking it off with him and he couldn't cope i remember recently talking to other guys saying how they wouldn't let their girls/wives get them like that but you don't know until you're in that situation, i thought i wouldn't be, infact i never thought it would ever happen again! Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I can see your point but i have to think about my daughter and not think about myself she is really close to me and i know my h couldn't take care of her i do everything for her !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 9, 2005 Author Share Posted November 9, 2005 11 days of no contact now and today i was in a really bad state, i have really bad anxiety, haven't ate a thing i'm obsessing about her , checking all the same cars to see if its her, staring out my window when a car comes to see if its her or not, you know how bad that feels there are missed calls on both phones and its a no number comes up which her house was, it probably isn't her but these thoughts go through my head, i even dread checking my phone tomorrow i have to go up near where she lives and i am somewhat dreading it i started taking antidepressants today, i have got too sick, i have been vomiting with anxiety, i am frightened of the world, i can't watch tv or the news as all the bad news frightens me so much i wake up in the morning and wish I didn't, i don't go to work and try and just sleep again just to have a respite from the depression, i broke my ribs at the weekend so i can't work too good anyway Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 9, 2005 Author Share Posted November 9, 2005 another massive dilemma for me is that i will have to stay away from the traditional irish music scene, i have always went to it and then when I met her i was there a couple of times a week, especially good was sitting amongst all the musicians and getting to know them all, i guess I fell in love with the whole scene too apparently I am in an irish tourism brochure sitting beside her with the pints of Guinness i remember the photos being took and feeling so proud ah damn it! Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 11 days of no contact now and today i was in a really bad state, i have really bad anxiety, haven't ate a thing Awww Remind yourself tho, that problems with eating, sleeping, etc are perfectly normal in your situation. And this will pass in time. Don't expect too much of yourself right now. there are missed calls on both phones and its a no number comes up which her house was, it probably isn't her but these thoughts go through my head, i even dread checking my phone Normal too. tomorrow i have to go up near where she lives and i am somewhat dreading it And this. i wake up in the morning and wish I didn't, i don't go to work and try and just sleep again just to have a respite from the depression i broke my ribs at the weekend so i can't work too good anyway How did this happen? Wanna tell us the story? Link to post Share on other sites
mazza32cott Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 I am so sorry for your pain. I can relate to it because I am going through it right now too. I feel everything you feel. He has another woman who he met the same day he moved out of my house. He came back to me after going back to his ex. I let him stay here for a while but said I needed him to prove he was here for the right reasons. He spat the dummy. Absolutely devastated me. He too is absolutely gorgeous and could pick up anyone just like that and he did. How do you think that makes me feel. I too am barely making it to work everyday. I hate my life at the moment. I posted a thread on here, got a few replies but not many. The replies help, I know. What you want is to be happy and to meet someone who loves you and is loyal to you. NOT too much to ask. She is not loyal to you. If she was she would be there with you. She may be worried about you and that is why she has contacted you since the break. She probably cares about you. What do you need to hear? That it is definately over? Has she not said that? Will that help you move on. She was not loyal. Write a note saying all the things you want from a woman and put it under your mattress. I believe it will work. I have done that and time will tell. Ring her, ask her if it is definately over if that is what you need to know. Hopefully she will tell you. Mine on the other hand won't tell me and he keeps me hanging on like a safety net even though he has another woman. Even saw him Monday and had sex. Hey it helped me but now I am back in the same boat with the same sick feelings like you don't want to be on this earth anymore. I too had a very close friend who committed suicide over women. Don't do that. Go to counselling, get support from here, talk to mother, friends.... BUT realise where it is at. Start healing yourself and move on. There is something better around the corner, believe me, however, like me, you won't find it until you shut the door. Try to be strong, it's hard but it's what you have to do. Maz Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 9, 2005 Author Share Posted November 9, 2005 i don't know how but i was blind drunk and got punched or fell on something i'd rather have broken ribs rather than this pain though she didn't say "it is definately over" but may as well have after saying "go out and find a nice girl", although i used to say" go and find someone who suits you " to the previous ex i'm not going to ring her, she did leave without a great explanation, if she wants surely she would have rang me no she isn't loyal and I was good to her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 thinking about it saying what i used to say to my previous ex... "go and find someone who suits you to the previous ex" i didn't really mean it as I tried to make that work a few weeks later "although my recent she said go and find a nice girl!" ... maybe or maybe not she was looking for an inverse reaction she knows she is beautiful and possibly she was telling me the truth BUT... a wise old man once told me "you will never understand women"... so how could a man logically take any of this for face value? f*** it i'm going to ask her out for a drink in a couple of weeks! i've nothing to lose as i explained in another post, i know i could get other women but i've no interest! would any girls like this pursuing? when you know ( well the recent ex ) is after you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 whats the point i'm posting? i can read invisible writing alright if u know what i mean? Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 whats the point i'm posting? i can read invisible writing alright if u know what i mean? Not sure what you mean, but my thoughts are with you. Romeo Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 Well, I've made my point already. Even when it sounds harsh, but I believe your real problem is in fact not this breakup, but the masses of deeper issues that lead you to pursue a relationship with this girl in the first place. You seem to be mostly hooked on her looks even though she's highly unstable. Your moods are also swinging back and forth to extremes. I really doubt that this was a very healthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 Not sure what you mean, but my thoughts are with you. Romeo don't even know what i meant myself! i was a bit tipsy! to quote loony... "Well, I've made my point already. Even when it sounds harsh, but I believe your real problem is in fact not this breakup, but the masses of deeper issues that lead you to pursue a relationship with this girl in the first place. You seem to be mostly hooked on her looks even though she's highly unstable. Your moods are also swinging back and forth to extremes. I really doubt that this was a very healthy relationship." to be honest she isn't unstable, infact the most stable a girl i ever met i can be moody but who isn't i wasn't just hooked on her looks, she was great fun and wanted the same things in life sorry loony thanks for your input but this just wasn't true! everyone of my friends said this is the girl for you... never before have they said that! ... at my friends wedding he said to me so when are you getting married? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 everyone of my friends said this is the girl for you... never before have they said that! ... at my friends wedding he said to me so when are you getting married? And it built up and built up some more. Maybe she was the one, maybe not...Either way right now you are not the one for her. Maybe someday things will change but you need to focus on forgetting her, healing your heart and living life again. Change your habits in a sense of being more active, do sports, join a gym! Take a course, something so the focus is different and get into the habit of not thinking about her all the time. Sorry if I sound harsh, I just dont' wanna see you slip down further into a depression and not be able to function. It sucks, and it's unfair but these are the cards that have been dealt now - Face it head on, accept it and try to feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 13, 2005 Author Share Posted November 13, 2005 latest! last night I had no friends to go out with, the only bars are the ones that we know people in so I decided that at this time my ex wouldn't be there so headed down to them.... went to all 3 , she wasn't there walking home rather drunk i seen her walking up the road so i went out of my way to see her, i said i'm walking home where are you going? she said she was going to a party and why i was walking home this way? she said please don't walk home by yourself , please get a taxi... i did walk it home and fell straight to bed, my mobile and landline had records of a call on them at 2.15am with 'no number' , i don't know who would call at this time but i hope it wasn't my ex worrying about me she was with two other guys last night, i know one of them, i hope she wasn't with the other one... she does have a lot of male friends who like her are musicians this is impossible to forget her! i didn't mean to bump into her ( i hope! ) although i walked past the bar she plays in last night too and it was so hard to not walk in and be part of the whole scene again! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 maybe flogging a dead horse here but i'm having a terrible day here and would like some feedback... my mother reckons she needs space and I should hold a candle! my mom loves her! i hate false hope! i know it was a very quick emotional relationship, my mum says i'm special (don't they all ) and that she'll realise someday! damn it i'm back to listening to the same music etc. as we did before! never been like this before EVER! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 its my exes birthday next week, my mum says i should send her a card, is this a bad idea? someone please help me out here, i'm feeling worse everyday it seems this girl has really messed me up Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 its my exes birthday next week, my mum says i should send her a card, is this a bad idea? someone please help me out here, i'm feeling worse everyday it seems this girl has really messed me up No please don't. It's my birthday in 3 weeks and I'm praying I don't hear from my ex biatch (used of course in the derogotary sense) Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 maybe flogging a dead horse here but i'm having a terrible day here and would like some feedback... my mother reckons she needs space and I should hold a candle! my mom loves her! i hate false hope! i know it was a very quick emotional relationship, my mum says i'm special (don't they all ) and that she'll realise someday! damn it i'm back to listening to the same music etc. as we did before! never been like this before EVER! Ignore your mother's advice for your own sanity... you'll never move on if you hold a candle... do you really want to feel like you do now for even longer? Hell I've booked myself in for a councelling session tommorrow morning as I hate feeling like this. No girl that thought that little of us and thought we weren't good enough for them deserves waiting around for. Get revenge, get a better life and a sexier girlfriend... that's a great motivator! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Don't send her a card. By doing that, you are opening yourself up, putting energy out there when it won't be returned. If you were the one who broke up with her, would you expect a birthday card from your ex? Probably not. And I bet you wouldn't really worry or care either way. I think that is something to consider. ARE you doing this for you - to see what will happen, or are you genuinally wanting to send her a card to make her happy? You say this girl has messed you up - So, why put in effort to acknowledge her birthday? Think about it...And please, put yourself first right now, not her. It doesn't matter what she thinks/feels...Only your feelings count and I hope you see that. PS, don't listen to your mom right now. She isn't seeing the whole picture and by sending the ex a card will only make you feel worse... Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Oh and as for your ex coming back, I can't say as this is actually the first time since I was a kid that I have been the dumpee... I can say from my experience in the past I have often gone back to exes after a few months, even if its just out of curiosity, I only wanted one back and she told me to take a hike! I dunno if it's more a guy thing to go back though, part of me believes my ex will one day cos she's one of those girls that seems to only want what she can't have.. and part of me hopes she does so I can tell her to her face to f*ck off... I'd never take her back, neither should you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 ok i won't send her a card, i'm sure she doesn't expect one anyway or would really care i suppose i am just clinging to false hope and also the fact that she spent a lot of money on my birthday 2 months ago as i said i seen my ex on Saturday night, i did kind of bump into her on purpose, i could have ignored her but didn't , i was just desperate to know how she was and what she was doing looks like i can't help but hold a candle, i hate this, i did this before and was sorry but couldn't help myself... actually an old ex i held a candle for for years contacted me in September today was one of the worst days of my life, i managed to do a few silly things but i cannot stop thinking about what went wrong and my ex Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 also having ideas about sending her a letter to explain just how i feel , i know this is breaking NC which i am told is the worst, i'd love to believe one day i couldn't have any feelings for her and be a good friend to her, i don't want and probably won't hate her... there is only one of my exes who i would never speak to again i know i'll be told write the letter but don't send it but then i say to myself what is the purpose in the first place? i would love to believe in a few months if she came crawling back that i had moved on and i told her to take a hike, she asked her friends if she did do this and if i really loved her i'd take her back its so hard to try and move on, on Saturday night i was chatting to girls who were good looking although i wasn't trying it on, just being friendly and trying to make an effort to simply live and try and live normally Link to post Share on other sites
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