Got rejected by a girl almost a year ago,but still can't handle it

[Cliff Booth]

We are in the same class,and we have a  lot of mutual friends.At certain point,i fell in love with her,but i didn't want to immediately express myself,so i played it slow.I was hanging out with her a lot.We had a lot of things in common(we like the same books,etc.)Then i started to plan how to tell her how i feel.I talked to our mutual friends about that,and they supported my plan.So,at Valentine's Day,i surprised her and the whole class was impressed by that.I wrote her a letter,bought some flowers and drew an awesome portrait of her,all anonnymously,and hid it under her desk.When she saw it,she immediately knew who it was.She was staring at me that entire day.Then i walked to her and asked her if she likes it.She was smiling.I wanted to ask her how she feels about my feelings,but i didn't want to do it in our clasroom,so i sent her a text asking her for a walk tomorrow,so we cn both explain ourselves.Then she replied me that she likes me as a friend,and that she's already in love with other guy.I thanked her for her honesty,and damn,did it hurt.After a few days,i started to move on.I got myself interested in movies,and i became a movie buff.I surrounded myself with my family and i started to improve myself during the 2020 coronavirus disease.Then,the school started again.When i saw her,i realized that,even after almost a year,i still love her.I don't talk to her too much since the rejection,only one-liners.This is not my first rejection.What should i do to forget about  it?

Edited December 9, 2020 by Cliff Booth

[Wiseman2]

58 minutes ago, Cliff Booth said:

.Then she replied me that she likes me as a friend,and that she's already in love with other guy.

Sorry to hear that 😕. You seem quite ready to date, so start talking to and asking girls out.

In the future, make sure you ease into things and get a feel for the situation through talking and going out.

The grand gestures are generally for when you are already in an established relationship.

[Cliff Booth]

40 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry to hear that 😕. You seem quite ready to date, so start talking to and asking girls out.

In the future, make sure you ease into things and get a feel for the situation through talking and going out.

The grand gestures are generally for when you are already in an established relationship.

Thanks for the advice.I exerienced a lot after the rejection,and i decided to never try again with her.But the irony is,she broke up with her crush less than a month after she rejected me.

P.S. She rejected me by text message

Edited December 9, 2020 by Cliff Booth

[stillafool]

You sound like a really cool guy who is experiencing his first crush.  Most people get rejected by their first crush so don't let it discourage you.  One day you will meet another girl yo9u like better, she'll feel the same way about you, and you will forget your first crush.  Trust me, it will happen.  In the meantime, don't look at your crush or communicate with her because that will keep you stuck on her and you need to move forward.

[Cliff Booth]

35 minutes ago, stillafool said:

You sound like a really cool guy who is experiencing his first crush.  Most people get rejected by their first crush so don't let it discourage you.  One day you will meet another girl yo9u like better, she'll feel the same way about you, and you will forget your first crush.  Trust me, it will happen.  In the meantime, don't look at your crush or communicate with her because that will keep you stuck on her and you need to move forward.

Thanks man,it is not my first crush:) ,and it's a second rejection.I really improved myself after the rejection,but,there is one problem.When i am going home from school with friends,she and her friends are with us,and they sometimes ask me why do we ignore each other.It is really inconvenient.But i am happy now,with my family and all my hobbies,I'm even a great student

[trident_2020]

You gotta learn to be cool.

The whole flowers and anonymous letter thing is rather weak.

Next time just get into a chat with her and casually ask her out.

At the very least it will be a lot less awkward if the answer is no.

 

 

[alphamale]

13 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry to hear that 😕. You seem quite ready to date, so start talking to and asking girls out.

In the future, make sure you ease into things and get a feel for the situation through talking and going out.

The grand gestures are generally for when you are already in an established relationship.

^^^this

[Cliff Booth]

5 hours ago, trident_2020 said:

You gotta learn to be cool.

The whole flowers and anonymous letter thing is rather weak.

Next time just get into a chat with her and casually ask her out.

At the very least it will be a lot less awkward if the answer is no.

 

 

I think flowers are not the problem.Maybe i got friendzoned too early :(

[trident_2020]

10 hours ago, Cliff Booth said:

I think flowers are not the problem.

Of course you don't.

[d0nnivain]

You sound like a great young man & will be an awesome catch for the right girl.  Alas she isn't that girl. Keep reminding yourself that she's flawed.  (If she had good taste, she'd be dating you.  🙂 )

Getting over her won't be that easy because you still have to have classes with her.  You are doing all the right things: being polite, focusing on school, hanging out with your friends & doing your hobbies.  Keep that up. 

I wish your friends had been better sleuths & figured out that the girl was crushing on somebody else before you planned the surprise.  In HS getting info like that is allowed.  Once you hit your 20s, you need you to keep others out of it. 

Going forward, you need to know that over the top is not a good move except in Rom-Com movies & TV.  Public declarations out of the blue are also very bad & usually unwelcome.    The girl showed some class by rejecting you privately rather than humiliating you publicly.   In the future, quietly & privately ascertain how a girl feels about you before you go in for the flowers, the note & the portrait.  Never go big on the 1st present exchange opportunity or you will paint yourself into a corner & not be able to top it for the next occasion.    After you are solidly in a relationship, the public displays are fine as long as your SO likes attention.  

For now, keep your eyes open.  I bet there is a nice girl in school who likes you but you haven't noticed her yet.  

 

[Cliff Booth]

8 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You sound like a great young man & will be an awesome catch for the right girl.  Alas she isn't that girl. Keep reminding yourself that she's flawed.  (If she had good taste, she'd be dating you.  🙂 )

Getting over her won't be that easy because you still have to have classes with her.  You are doing all the right things: being polite, focusing on school, hanging out with your friends & doing your hobbies.  Keep that up. 

I wish your friends had been better sleuths & figured out that the girl was crushing on somebody else before you planned the surprise.  In HS getting info like that is allowed.  Once you hit your 20s, you need you to keep others out of it. 

Going forward, you need to know that over the top is not a good move except in Rom-Com movies & TV.  Public declarations out of the blue are also very bad & usually unwelcome.    The girl showed some class by rejecting you privately rather than humiliating you publicly.   In the future, quietly & privately ascertain how a girl feels about you before you go in for the flowers, the note & the portrait.  Never go big on the 1st present exchange opportunity or you will paint yourself into a corner & not be able to top it for the next occasion.    After you are solidly in a relationship, the public displays are fine as long as your SO likes attention.  

For now, keep your eyes open.  I bet there is a nice girl in school who likes you but you haven't noticed her yet.  

 

Thanks for the support.I see what you mean.I heard rumors about my crush having a crush on other guy,but i didn't want to give up.If you dont try,the result is faliure.

I learned a lot of things after the rejection.No more grand gestures in high school :)

[Cliff Booth]

I fell in love with the girl from my class,and i started to develop a nice relationship with her.I was planning how to explain my feelings to her.On Valentine's day,i bought some flowers,wrote a letter and drew a portrait and hid it under her desk.When she saw it,she was surprised and she knew who it was.That day,i asked her out ,and she rejected me by text message.During this pandemic,i distanced myself from her and gave her some space,while i was trying to improve myself.I became a movie buff and a great student.Now,at scool,i see her everyday and i still have feelings for her.When i talk about something(movies)with my friends,she sometimes seems interested and curious.I don't speak to her too much since the rejection,but i can't deal with my feelings.

What can i do?

[Wiseman2]

Smile be confident and talk to all your friends...girls and boys. Let people see that a setback won't hold you back.

[Kaarek]

You sound very young, correct me if I'm wrong. Either way, rejections happen to the best of us.

I've been rejected many times too, you'll get used to it. Some will melt for you, some won't. 

[BrianK]

Forget her and find a new girl, she rejected you

[Cookiesandough]

Just recognize that there will be plenty have others. There are so many girls out there. If you are a man that has lived any life at all you will have a few rejections under your belt. Sucks at the time but sometimes that’s what it takes to get the right one.

Edited December 15, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Cliff Booth]

14 minutes ago, Kaarek said:

You sound very young, correct me if I'm wrong. Either way, rejections happen to the best of us.

I've been rejected many times too, you'll get used to it. Some will melt for you, some won't. 

I'm in my late teens and this is my second rejection

[Cliff Booth]

8 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Just recognize that there will be plenty have others. There are so many girls out there. If you are a man that has lived any life at all you will have a few rejections under your belt. Sucks at the time but sometimes that’s what it takes to get the right one.

Thanks for the advice,man

[smackie9]

 Going full guns when you are not exclusive turns them off. All you do is, see a girl you find attractive, talk to her, ask her for her number, ask her out. Those are the steps to take and it all can be done in a matter of minutes.

You don't sit and hard crush for weeks, be an orbiter, say you are in love, and then dump it all on her with love letter/flowers and gifts. That has them running for the hills.

Another tip: just because a girl talks to you and pays some attention, means nothing. You find out if she likes you when you ask her for a date and she says yes. Save you so much time, and so much heartache.

Edited December 15, 2020 by smackie9

[spiderowl]

Being too romantic and doting too soon is likely to scare a girl off. Just be friendly and fun and see how she responds to you. If she seems to like spending time with you and is comfortable to chat to you alone, then it might be worth asking if she’d like to get a coffee with you sometime.

She might say no or be ‘too busy’ in which case she’s probably not interested. If she is happy to have a coffee, then she likes you as a friend or possibly more. After coffee is the time to ask her to something else if you both had an enjoyable time together. Keep it light-hearted when you are starting to get to know a girl.

Attraction can be instant and sometimes it can build with happy times spent together and compatibility. Give her chance to get to know you before you get all romantic. If a woman thinks a guy seems nice but is not sure about him, then she would probably like a low-key chance to get to know him. It’s too much pressure if he’s all romantic - she daren’t risk getting to know him in case she doesn’t get more attached because then he might be hurt. 

Try not to get your heart too involved at first. See it as a way of getting to know a girl a bit better and possibly making a friend. That way, you can both relax and just enjoy the time together if you both wish to.

[Cliff Booth]

Thank you all for the advices.She said to my mutual friend,,I dont love him now,but it doesnt mean i won't love him someday".I said whatever,because i am focused to find a new girl.

[Cliff Booth]

14 hours ago, smackie9 said:

 Going full guns when you are not exclusive turns them off. All you do is, see a girl you find attractive, talk to her, ask her for her number, ask her out. Those are the steps to take and it all can be done in a matter of minutes.

You don't sit and hard crush for weeks, be an orbiter, say you are in love, and then dump it all on her with love letter/flowers and gifts. That has them running for the hills.

Another tip: just because a girl talks to you and pays some attention, means nothing. You find out if she likes you when you ask her for a date and she says yes. Save you so much time, and so much heartache.

Thanks man,next time i should ask girls i find attractive out.No more crushing

Edited December 16, 2020 by Cliff Booth

[notbroken]

Don't waste your time chasing a girl that has low interest in you.   Find someone that has high interest.   It is difficult/impossible to convert them and generally a waste of your time.    This is a rule that will serve you well your entire life.   Don't waste your time with people that don't value you.  Don't put people 'on a pedestal' and keep chasing after you've been rejected.  Don't take rejections personally - every guy that has gone after more than one woman in his life has likely had rejections.  It happens.  It is part of the process of finding someone that wants you and you want them.   Accept nothing less than that. 

[Cliff Booth]

43 minutes ago, notbroken said:

Don't waste your time chasing a girl that has low interest in you.   Find someone that has high interest.   It is difficult/impossible to convert them and generally a waste of your time.    This is a rule that will serve you well your entire life.   Don't waste your time with people that don't value you.  Don't put people 'on a pedestal' and keep chasing after you've been rejected.  Don't take rejections personally - every guy that has gone after more than one woman in his life has likely had rejections.  It happens.  It is part of the process of finding someone that wants you and you want them.   Accept nothing less than that. 

Thanks man,i see what you mean