I10 Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 Hello fellow members of this wonderful forum and thanks for having me here. Without further ado, i will skip right to the topic. So two months ago i met this guy in Facebook through commenting at some page there. He texted me and we hit it off. I really connected with him and we decided to meet after a week of chatting. The first thing i saw when i met him was that he looked nothing like his photos. I mean it was him in the photos, but not like i expected i.e. i didnt like him physically. Still, I decided to give him a chance and see where this goes. The issue here, besides me not being that attracted to him is that he is rushing and talking about forever ( marriage, kids) when we know each other just a couple months, which is a real turn off. On the fourth he had ate onions and he reeked ( how do you do that when one goes on a date i dont really know) and this was another turn off. After the fifth date i knew i had to break up with him and i was contemplating how to do it, when his mom texted me and said i can be only friends with her son becasue he is younger ( by 6 years, but we are both adults l)and because he is of another faith. This was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. I texted him that i want to stop seeing him and explained why, but he either acts like he doesnt understand or he tries to persuade me not to ( begging) which makes me uncomfortable and after a few hours I succumb. I really am thinking to wish him well through text and block him. Maybe he doesnt deserve it because he is a nice guy and all, but this situation is really stressing me out. Any suggestion and advice would be cordially welcomed. I really am in need of some advice. Thanks in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 58 minutes ago, I10 said: I really am thinking to wish him well through text and block him. Maybe he doesnt deserve it because he is a nice guy and all, but this situation is really stressing me out. Here is your answer... One last text and block him (on all platforms, social media and all). Who ever said "Life was fair" and "you got what you deserved". Be polite, but direct. Done and Done! 1 hour ago, I10 said: he tries to persuade me not to ( begging) which makes me uncomfortable and after a few hours I succumb. As a side note... "Begging" isn't very becoming for anyone. Having some one "beg" you to stay, should be reason enough to say "good bye". Link to post Share on other sites
Author I10 Posted December 9, 2020 Author Share Posted December 9, 2020 36 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: Here is your answer... One last text and block him (on all platforms, social media and all). Who ever said "Life was fair" and "you got what you deserved". Be polite, but direct. Done and Done! As a side note... "Begging" isn't very becoming for anyone. Having some one "beg" you to stay, should be reason enough to say "good bye". Thanks. That’s what i will do. I didnt want to be inconsiderate so i decided to share my situation here and see if that’s too inconsiderate, reading your reply appeased me a little. I know i have to do this, it is causing me stress and it is also really annoying me. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 Yes, text a final goodbye, then delete and block. If he contacts you elsewhere, ignore, delete, and block. You don't owe him anything beyond letting him know it's over. Rejecting men isn't fun, but it's something you have to learn to handle as a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 I have two big regrets in life... One of them was begging a woman to take me back after she dumped me. In the end, I'm very glad she didn't. But yes... I did "beg"... I was wrong, I regret it, I made that mistake and I learned from it. Hopefully, this gentleman will, as well. Best of luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I10 Posted December 9, 2020 Author Share Posted December 9, 2020 1 minute ago, Ruby Slippers said: Yes, text a final goodbye, then delete and block. If he contacts you elsewhere, ignore, delete, and block. You don't owe him anything beyond letting him know it's over. Rejecting men isn't fun, but it's something you have to learn to handle as a woman. Thank you. It really isn’t fun, i have done this without trouble when i was younger, but having experienced being dumped myself, ive become more sensitive regarding this. However, what must be done shall be done. It’s my happines at stake here too.Thanks again 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I10 Posted December 9, 2020 Author Share Posted December 9, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I have two big regrets in life... One of them was begging a woman to take me back after she dumped me. In the end, I'm very glad she didn't. But yes... I did "beg"... I was wrong, I regret it, I made that mistake and I learned from it. Hopefully, this gentleman will, as well. Best of luck. Some things you have to learn the hard way. I am glad you learnt from your experience and I am really sorry that is I who have to teach him this. I wish it went some other way but it is what it is. He is young, he shall survive. Also, never have regrets. What has happened is in the past and cannot be changed. Regrets make life a hell of more complicated. Just take it as a lesson or a situation where there wasnt much you could do or you didnt know better and move on. Edited December 9, 2020 by I10 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 Block him everywhere . You did all you could do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I10 Posted December 9, 2020 Author Share Posted December 9, 2020 1 minute ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Block him everywhere . You did all you could do. Thanks. I am currently doing that. Thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 19 hours ago, I10 said: me not being that attracted to him is that he is rushing and talking about forever I texted him that i want to stop seeing him and explained why Too many red flags and deal breakers. You need to delete and block him and ALL his people from ALL your messaging apps and social media. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I10 Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 Right? I just wanted to share this here to see if i am being inconsiderate so i thank you all for confirming my feelings. His mom interfering was the final straw. I have to think about my well being too. He is nice but he has also from time to time said some things which i didnt like. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I10 Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Too many red flags and deal breakers. You need to delete and block him and ALL his people from ALL your messaging apps and social media. Some might think the advice given here doesnt have much effect on peOple and they end up doing what they want anyway. That’s true, but for me, it has helped me decide quicker and eased my guilt. So once again thank you all Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 1 hour ago, I10 said: Right? I just wanted to share this here to see if i am being inconsiderate How considerate is he being of your feelings? I am sure he means no harm, but he's not respecting your wishes to end things. He's trying to steamroll you into doing what he wants, regardless of what you feel. You be be kind but firm in saying no, and standing by your own desires. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I10 Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 3 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: How considerate is he being of your feelings? I am sure he means no harm, but he's not respecting your wishes to end things. He's trying to steamroll you into doing what he wants, regardless of what you feel. You be be kind but firm in saying no, and standing by your own desires. He didnt even seem to understand what i was telling him and continued to sweet talk so i finally, with the help from this forum did what i could, i blocked him and his family everywhere and it was a real relief. Thanks, it’s nice reading words of support Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 On 12/9/2020 at 1:00 PM, I10 said: I really am thinking to wish him well through text and block him. Maybe he doesnt deserve it because he is a nice guy and all, but this situation is really stressing me out. I'm not a fan of the text break up but here after only a few dates, plus with Covid & lock downs, it may be more sensible. As long as you tell him it's over before you disappear & block. Glad you took action rather than stringing it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I10 Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 (edited) 15 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: I'm not a fan of the text break up but here after only a few dates, plus with Covid & lock downs, it may be more sensible. As long as you tell him it's over before you disappear & block. Glad you took action rather than stringing it out. I wished him well and explained to him why i dont want to continue seeing him without writing anything offensive, things i did tell him few times before coming here, and then blocked him. thanks for the suggestion Edited December 10, 2020 by I10 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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