Pol Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 Just want answers. Years ago my wife and I were engaging in sexual activity and we got I'm to 69 position and when I put my hands under and around her leg I noticed black and blue marks that were in the same spot that my fingers went. I didnt think anything of it at the time because of what we were doing. So the next day I said let's do the same thing and I verified it again. She said she didnt know how they got there and they were probably from sitting on blacktop at a game. To this day it bothers me and I will never believe anything other than what I think. It was to obvious in my opinion but I cant bring it up really or it just cause a big argument. I found another post about the same thing here but can not message the individual for some reason on here. (Brett Hatton). I know everyone will say she cheated but how can I be sure. I just want her to tell me the truth so I can get over it and move on. Thanks for the help. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 Pol, you're expecting me to believe that she did the same position with a guy a couple of days earlier who, due to some extraordinary coincidence, put his hands exactly the same way you do? I'm not going to say that she cheated. It's all far too coincidental for my liking. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 I agree with basil, doesn't make sense. Do you bruise her when you're doing that? I've gotten bruises in a similar area from sitting on the edge of something, never from sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pol Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 12 hours ago, basil67 said: Pol, you're expecting me to believe that she did the same position with a guy a couple of days earlier who, due to some extraordinary coincidence, put his hands exactly the same way you do? I'm not going to say that she cheated. It's all far too coincidental for my liking. Not expecting anyone to believe anything. I'm just saying it was odd. There is only one spot to put your hands in that position. Haha. It was 2 marks on one side and 3 on the other under the crease of her butt. Same width as my fingers and spread out the same as fingers are. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 I don't think my husband has used the same hand position twice ever. And I also can't imagine getting bruised from a 69. You said that you expect everyone to say that she cheated, but you're kinda getting *crickets* here. Could be time to let it go. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pol Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 11 hours ago, FMW said: I agree with basil, doesn't make sense. Do you bruise her when you're doing that? I've gotten bruises in a similar area from sitting on the edge of something, never from sex. No I do not bruise her but I never really tried or grabbed on hard enough to bruise her. I can understand how you could get bruises from sitting down. However, like I said, the shape and location to me says the are from fingers but probably will never find out for sure Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pol Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 1 minute ago, basil67 said: I don't think my husband has used the same hand position twice ever. And I also can't imagine getting bruised from a 69. You said that you expect everyone to say that she cheated, but you're kinda getting *crickets* here. Could be time to let it go. Maybe you're not understanding the position then. I never said I expect everyone to say she cheated. I said I know what I saw and wont believe anything other myself. I'm just looking for opinions and thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 12 hours ago, Pol said: I know everyone will say she cheated but how can I be sure. Actually you did say that everyone will say she cheated. In all honesty, I think it's time to let it go. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pol Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: Actually you did say that everyone will say she cheated. In all honesty, I think it's time to let it go. I just meant it as if you think she did how can i be sure. Yeah prolly is time to let go but it's kinda hard. Dont knkw what you mean by "crickets". To be honest it wouldnt change anything and I told her that. So I'm kinda giving her comfort to get it out and behind if it is true. I dont know, I'll always have a hard time not thinking about it I guess. Thanks for the input! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Crickets - think of a summer's evening when nobody says a word and all you can hear is crickets. Are you still actively discussing this with her? Or are you referring to a conversation you had with her a long time ago? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 13 hours ago, Pol said: . Years ago my wife and I were engaging in sexual activity...... You need to get over it. Who are you referencing and why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pol Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 6 minutes ago, basil67 said: Crickets - think of a summer's evening when nobody says a word and all you can hear is crickets. Are you still actively discussing this with her? Or are you referring to a conversation you had with her a long time ago? Haha. Yeah I know them crickets. Wasn't following you there. Dont know anything about this site and how many responses there would be. No I havent brought it up for a long time. I do forget about it for awhile because I really don't care but unfortunately I will never know the exact truth. But then when she goes in the spell of not wanting to have sex or not showing me she wants to then I naturally just think "well you wanted to with someone else". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pol Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: You need to get over it. Who are you referencing and why? ??? I'm referencing my wife because she had black and blue marks which resembled fingerprints under her butt. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, Pol said: ??? I'm referencing my wife because she had black and blue marks which resembled fingerprints under her butt. Why are you pointing to other posters by screen name? Why is this crass and crazy dilemma bothering you "YEARS" later? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pol Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Why are you pointing to other posters by screen name? Why is this crass and crazy dilemma bothering you "YEARS" later? Because the other poster had found the same type of marks. It bothers me because there is black and blue marks on my wife where there shouldn't be. And yeah its years later so does that just mean it's ok now because time passed? Nah. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Each individual story is different with their own context and background, though. There never are two sets of circumstances alike. 43 minutes ago, Pol said: It bothers me because there is black and blue marks on my wife where there shouldn't be I'm confused by this. Are the marks still there? 1 hour ago, Pol said: I do forget about it for awhile because I really don't care but unfortunately I will never know the exact truth. I'm also confused by this. Are you saying you care and you don't care at the same time? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Harry Korsnes Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 9 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said: Each individual story is different with their own context and background, though. There never are two sets of circumstances alike. I'm confused by this. Are the marks still there? I'm also confused by this. Are you saying you care and you don't care at the same time? I think he's the one thats confused bc he saw something and does'nt know how to go about it. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 If years have passed and it still bothers you - why not discuss it with your wife? if it only bothers you when she doesn’t have regular sex with you then why not work out a schedule for sex with her you can rely on? if not, see a counselor about your insecurities. I doubt she cheated - the likelihood of bruises in the exact spot are very unlikely - the guy would need to be the exact height as you with the exact hand size. He would also have to have your same technique. It’s not likely, this comes from an older woman with experience with loads of men. Link to post Share on other sites
Milly May June Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Could be marks from a bike seat. Some bikes have very unconfterble seats that can leave marks. Does your wife do spinning classes? Does she bike? But regardless i think you have major trust issues with your wife. How is your marriage overall? Link to post Share on other sites
zouzbd Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 My wife never accepted in 22 years to have 69 ... so I can't help much 1 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Is there anything else, besides these marks, that lead you to believable your wife cheated? I do not see any from you. My take is that she is has not cheated, or she is so good at not letting on, you will never really find out. So in the absence of real signs, you need to give the benefit of doubt to your wife. I think you have other issues you need to work out with her, and should look at marriage counseling, or at least a good talk on a regular basics. As you your own mind, well you may control that, you can dismiss these thoughts as you brood over them. I wish you luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 2 hours ago, Harry Korsnes said: I think he's the one thats confused bc he saw something and does'nt know how to go about it. I don't know about confused but I see what you mean. Sometimes you're stuck in a moment in time and you need a little help to get out of it. It happens to a lot of people. Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Is that the only 'sign'? If so, drop it. If she is guarding her phone, gone a lot, suddenly grooms herself differently, taking extra care to dress nice, has new underwear, AND has bruises then that is another thing. If that's the only thing then I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Not trusting her will cause you to lose closeness and ultimately go bad for your relationship. BTDT (I shouldn't have trusted her - she did cheat and ultimately did again). A small amount of smoke doesn't mean there will be a forest fire. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 This happened years ago? Once? And you're still worrying about it? Maybe you caused it a few days earlier and forgot. If she came home bow-legged with birds-nest hair, bites all over her neck and her nipples shredded off you would have something to question, but a few small bruises on her undie line is hardly cause to bring in the FBI. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 9 hours ago, MsJayne said: a few small bruises on her undie line is hardly cause to bring in the FBI. 😂 Some would recommend polygraphs. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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