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Was he telling the truth or was it BS?

ladybug2021

By ladybug2021,
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Note: Moderation has just given this thread a clean up. Prior to this, the end of the thread was being taken over by off-topic bickering/banter between posters. In order to keep advice focused on the OP,  please ignore the posts you don't agree with, flag those posts that are rude or uncivil and most importantly, focus your interaction with the OP's ideas. Thank-you.

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stillafool

stillafool

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

I asked the guy today about setting up the date and he was like ‘ yeah let’s do that, I can today or tomorrow, or any day, you choose’. I dunno, it just felt so ackward.

Well why didn't you choose a day and time?  Stop playing games.

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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3 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

Well I act with integrity in all my interactions with people, not only after we are in a relationship.

He did ask me if I wanted to talk after dinner. I said yes. And then he didn’t message anything and came back with that excuse. I wouldn’t do this, because I act with integrity, but that is me.

Being flexible? Absolutely. Being stupid? No way.

If that's how you feel, dump him.  Next.  

It's really that easy LB.

 

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ladybug2021

ladybug2021

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20 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Well why didn't you choose a day and time?  Stop playing games.

I did. I said to him I cannot today but I can tomorrow. And his response was "ok so we'll set it up later". I'm not the one playing games here.

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FMW

FMW

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1 minute ago, ladybug2021 said:

"ok so we'll set it up later"

Yeah, I think I'd just give him a pass at this point.  There are very few valid reasons for not being able to set up definite plans for the very next day, and since he didn't even bother to give you one - I'd close the book on this one.  

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Ruby Slippers

Ruby Slippers

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4 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

I did. I said to him I cannot today but I can tomorrow. And his response was "ok so we'll set it up later". I'm not the one playing games here.

This guy is a dud. He can't even plan a freakin date. Do you really think this is the best you can do?

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

I did. I said to him I cannot today but I can tomorrow. And his response was "ok so we'll set it up later". I'm not the one playing games here.

I agree with you here LB.  Yeah, I'd probably just block.  No need to even reply, just block. 

Whatever your initial gut reaction was based on, it appears it was correct.

Next....

Edited by poppyfields
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ladybug2021

ladybug2021

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13 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said:

Nobody under the age of 35 ever forgets their cell phone

Yes that was what made me the BS click. Not much the "out with the friends" thing, but saying he forgot the phone. 

I don't care if a guy I am talking to is going out with 50 other women, I just don't like BS. I understand he wouldn't tell me he is out on a date, but that thing about forgetting the phone is too obvious and treating me like a fool.

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GeorgiaPeach1

GeorgiaPeach1

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Listen to your gut instinct, intuition, whatever you want to call it. You are picking up on subtle BS vibes. Next!

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Alvi

Alvi

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Yes, it's a BS excuse. Of course he met another woman. He never gave you anything rather than an indefinite maybe to meet. He doesn't sound that interested or enthusiastic to meet you.  NEXT.

Next time, don't spend too much time texting, talking, video chatting. If a guy cannot come up with a definite plan to meet, like time, date, place, don't waste a second of your time on him. Maybe is just that, maybe.

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, ladybug2021 said:

Yes that was what made me the BS click. Not much the "out with the friends" thing, but saying he forgot the phone. 

I don't care if a guy I am talking to is going out with 50 other women, I just don't like BS. I understand he wouldn't tell me he is out on a date, but that thing about forgetting the phone is too obvious and treating me like a fool.

No one likes BS ladybug2021, that's nothing new.  And most people NEXT when being BS'd.

I missed the losing phone thing, my bad.  But yeah that excuse is about as lame as it gets.  

[redacted]

Even if true (I mean people do lose or misplace their phones sometimes), an interested man would have found a way to contact you, purchased a new phone if lost or a cheap pre-paid from the market, or sent an email, FB message, something.  

So yeah, you hear that, it's just a straight next.  No discussing it with anyone, just be done.  Which I trust is what you're going to do.

Do not waste one precious second being bothered by it.

 

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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Same with the guy who gave you the BS story about shyt testing you to see if you wouid contact him.

I have had guys use that on me, whether true or not, it's LAME.  

I know you got rid, but you seemed bothered by it.

Try to let this crap go seriously.  Let it roll off.  When it happens before a meet, have a laugh to yourself (or with good friends) about the absurdity of it, and simply block.  And continue on.

If you let all the BS get to you, you will go nuts like Robert DeNiro in the movie Taxi Driver.  Lol

 

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smackie9

smackie9

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2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Yes of course he's keeping options open, so should she be!  They have not met.

And she's "intense" texting too, does that mean she's keeping him on the hook?  

Again, they have not met.  Anything goes.  He's chatting with others, she's chatting with others.  There is no "keeping on the hook" at this point imo.

And would someone please tell me where he "promised" to call after dinner?  I missed it.

If you mean him telling her he wouid like to talk after dinner, that's not a promise imo.

 

 

 Yes she was kept on the hook because this guy was intensely texting, giving her the impression he was so into her, so of course there was an expectation and she was hopeful. She liked him! She wanted a date! If a guy was giving me that much attention I would feel the same way too. IMO there are better ways to keeping your options open than leading someone on with intense flirting texting for weeks. He pretty much blew smoke up her butt and dropped off the face of the earth. Is that really fair? I don't think so. She was naive this time around, but now she knows the proof is in their quick action to meet/have a date, rather than texting/flirting for weeks bs.

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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Posted (edited)

Could be the truth or could be a white lie. Either way, it does not really matter because he owes nothing to someone he is chatting with online and hasn’t even decided if he wants to meet yet. 

Edited by Shortskirtslonglashes
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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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31 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

 Yes she was kept on the hook because this guy was intensely texting, giving her the impression he was so into her, so of course there was an expectation and she was hopeful. She liked him! She wanted a date! If a guy was giving me that much attention I would feel the same way too. IMO there are better ways to keeping your options open than leading someone on with intense flirting texting for weeks. He pretty much blew smoke up her butt and dropped off the face of the earth. Is that really fair? I don't think so. She was naive this time around, but now she knows the proof is in their quick action to meet/have a date, rather than texting/flirting for weeks bs.

That’s her err to assume that. I think that would be a crazy thing to assume, especially if he wasn’t asking her on a date. if some guy from the Internet got pi*sy at me because I wasn’t able to have a text chat one night for ANY reason, you best believe mr internet man’s a** would be grass

Edited by Shortskirtslonglashes
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elaine567

elaine567

Posted
Posted

He's probably married/attached.
Couldn't text you after the dinner but sent you a text at 2am when I guess he was sure his OH was asleep and now he can't make a definite date, I wonder why???

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ShyViolet

ShyViolet

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4 hours ago, ladybug2021 said:

So, it is not about him dating others. It is the BS EXCUSE he gave me! HE said he wanted to talk more to me that day after dinner. I said yes. So I was yes expecting to talk to him after dinner. He then didn't message anything and came up with that excuse. The EXCUSE is my concern, not the dating others at this stage.

You have unrealistic expectations of how a guy who you haven't even gone on a first date with yet should behave towards you.  He doesn't owe you anything.  He doesn't have to explain every little thing he's doing.  If you're already being like this and you haven't even gone on a first date with the guy yet, I think HE dodged a bullet by not meeting you.

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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42 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

 Yes she was kept on the hook because this guy was intensely texting, giving her the impression he was so into her, so of course there was an expectation and she was hopeful. She liked him! She wanted a date! If a guy was giving me that much attention I would feel the same way too. IMO there are better ways to keeping your options open than leading someone on with intense flirting texting for weeks. He pretty much blew smoke up her butt and dropped off the face of the earth. Is that really fair? I don't think so. She was naive this time around, but now she knows the proof is in their quick action to meet/have a date, rather than texting/flirting for weeks bs.

That's where we are different I guess smackie. That much attention so early on and especially before a first meet is (1) a red flag and (2) a huge turn off.  Suffocating and oppressive, for me.

I never allowed myself to get pulled in by that.  It's a big turn off for me.   No woman should imo.  I also never allowed myself to have expectations before a first meet.  

A hope that when we meet, we'll click like we do on line?  Yes!  But not the expectation of it happening.

I chatted with my fiance for approximately two weeks prior to first meet.  Not every day, but enough where we knew something was there.  We both knew that couid change when we met in person.  

It didn't, it was more intense when we met, and here we are. 

OP allowed herself to become too invested, and had certain expectations because of it.  No matter how much a d*** this guy is or was, that's on her.

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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9 hours ago, ladybug2021 said:

Met this guy on a dating app and have been talking all day everyday for several days.

See, this is what I will never understand.  I get we're bored at home with covid, but all day, every day?  

How is this fun and exciting?  What's to look forward to?  The anticipation of when he will message again?  That's half the fun!  The wondering, the anticipation.

I dunno I guess I'm different but to me, yawn.  I'd be bored with that, no fun at all.

To each her own though, different strokes.  

Good luck LB, keep us posted.  

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stillafool

stillafool

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4 hours ago, ladybug2021 said:

I asked the guy today about setting up the date and he was like ‘ yeah let’s do that, I can today or tomorrow, or any day, you choose’. I dunno, it just felt so ackward.

Did he contact you or did you contact him when this was said?

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smackie9

smackie9

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4 hours ago, ladybug2021 said:

I asked the guy today about setting up the date and he was like ‘ yeah let’s do that, I can today or tomorrow, or any day, you choose’. I dunno, it just felt so awkward.

This says "I could care less....."

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Acacia98

Acacia98

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4 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Another red flag: The promises of  "we will have dinner" that never happens. Only stick with guys who message you a few times, and then have a meet up/proper date. If they are not asking you out pretty quickly, they are just a waste of YOUR time.

I pretty much agree with this.

OP, I would have stopped communicating with the guy by now, but not for the reason you give (his BS and lies). My reason would be the repeated talk about having dinner and zero efforts to actually set a date up.

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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Posted (edited)

“Lost my phone” excuse has been around for as long as we’ve had mobile phones . Probably even before.

Edited by Shortskirtslonglashes
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magnolia18

magnolia18

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Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Block him.🐌 He's dragging his behind and that's wasting your time.

[Redacted]

Why would she delete and block him? Things happen to people , so he could not talk after dinner, maybe he went out with friends, maybe he went on a date, maybe he felt sick, maybe he fell asleep after dinner, maybe he was busy teleworking like we all are during this covid thing, maybe he got wrapped up in something like a good movie or tied up with a phone call!!! He did send a message at 2 a.m, which shows that he was conscious of his promise to talk after dinner, these guys have not even met yet, so what is there to block and delete for god's sake?

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