Was he telling the truth or was it BS?

[Miss Spider]

Delete and block him for his own good. If she is micro-analyzing and doubting a simple thing like this, with just a chat buddy in the preliminary stage of dating, imagine what it would bd like if she dated him

 

Edited December 11, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Ruby Slippers]

[Redacted]

I don't date unless I'm feeling positive and strong. You need to be in a good state of mind to deal with dating site people for sure. When you're in a good state of mind, it's so easy to delete and block the duds without a second thought, with zero emotion.

Edited December 12, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed Reference to Deleted Comment

[ladybug2021]

4 hours ago, poppyfields said:

See, this is what I will never understand.  I get we're bored at home with covid, but all day, every day?  

How is this fun and exciting?  What's to look forward to?  The anticipation of when he will message again?  That's half the fun!  The wondering, the anticipation.

I dunno I guess I'm different but to me, yawn.  I'd be bored with that, no fun at all.

To each her own though, different strokes.  

Good luck LB, keep us posted.  

Well it wasn’t alllll day everyday, but yes we do chat a lot throughout the day. 

Actually our conversations are not boring at all and it just flows easily, the kind that times passes and you don’t even notice. There’s lots of things in common and banter. 

With him is not the anticipation or the wondering that is exciting, is actually the conversation itself. It just flows effortlessly.

Anyway we did arrange a date for tomorrow  and are going to have dinner. 

I really enjoy talking to him so I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. Also, I want to meet in person and not continue to talk for ages online.

Edited December 11, 2020 by ladybug2021

[poppyfields]

Sounds good LB, let us know how it goes and have fun....

[ladybug2021]

4 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Sounds good LB, let us know how it goes and have fun....

Thank you, I will

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, ladybug2021 said:

Anyway we did arrange a date for tomorrow  and are going to have dinner. 

I really enjoy talking to him so I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. Also, I want to meet in person and not continue to talk for ages online.

Excellent 👍 enjoy the date.

[smackie9]

Any updates yet?

[ladybug2021]

1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

Any updates yet?

Well we ended up not having the date...

We talked before about Italian food, and we both like it, and I told him there's a really nice Italian restaurant where I live, so he asked if I wanted to go there today and I said yes. I told him I'll call the restaurant because I wasn't sure if they were open.

So today at lunch time I called the restaurant and they said yes they are open, I sent him a message saying that to him and he responded great and that he was going to walk the dogs and to the gym and we can set up the time later. I said ok. 

And then he said nothing for hours, and sent me a message at already dinner time asking what time are we going to have dinner... I said it's already dinner time. He then said he was waiting for me to say something!? Well I was waiting for him to say something, because when I told him about the restaurant being open instead of wanting to decide the time to meet, he said he was busy and we decide later.

He then called me to say sorry and that he didn't understand I was trying to set up the time when I told him I called the restaurant, and that he hopes we can have dinner some other day.

To be honest, I have lost interest.

Edited December 12, 2020 by ladybug2021

[poppyfields]

17 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

Well we ended up not having the date...

We talked before about Italian food, and we both like it, and I told him there's a really nice Italian restaurant where I live, so he asked if I wanted to go there today and I said yes. I told him I'll call the restaurant because I wasn't sure if they were open.

So today at lunch time I called the restaurant and they said yes they are open, I sent him a message saying that to him and he responded great and that he was going to walk the dogs and to the gym and we can set up the time later. I said ok. 

And then he said nothing for hours, and sent me a message at already dinner time asking what time are we going to have dinner... I said it's already dinner time. He then said he was waiting for me to say something!? Well I was waiting for him to say something, because when I told him about the restaurant being open instead of wanting to decide the time to meet, he said he was busy and we decide later.

He then called me to say sorry and that he didn't understand I was trying to set up the time when I told him I called the restaurant, and that he hopes we can have dinner some other day.

To be honest, I have lost interest.

Sometimes we just gotta play these things out, otherwise we'll forever be second guessing ourselves.  

So you played this out to the bitter end, good for you.  

I will refrain from commenting about him, he doesn't matter.  What matters is you've lost interest, next. 

Do you plan to tell him or simply block?  I would go for the straight block but up to you.  

Sorry it didn't work out.

 

[Miss Spider]

26 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

Well we ended up not having the date...

We talked before about Italian food, and we both like it, and I told him there's a really nice Italian restaurant where I live, so he asked if I wanted to go there today and I said yes. I told him I'll call the restaurant because I wasn't sure if they were open.

So today at lunch time I called the restaurant and they said yes they are open, I sent him a message saying that to him and he responded great and that he was going to walk the dogs and to the gym and we can set up the time later. I said ok. 

And then he said nothing for hours, and sent me a message at already dinner time asking what time are we going to have dinner... I said it's already dinner time. He then said he was waiting for me to say something!? Well I was waiting for him to say something, because when I told him about the restaurant being open instead of wanting to decide the time to meet, he said he was busy and we decide later.

He then called me to say sorry and that he didn't understand I was trying to set up the time when I told him I called the restaurant, and that he hopes we can have dinner some other day.

To be honest, I have lost interest.

He expected you to set up the date. You asked him out, picked out the restaurant, and called the restaurant. He probably thought you were going to pick the time too. 

[Wiseman2]

29 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

To be honest, I have lost interest.

Sorry this happened. Perhaps your first impressions were correct, he's a game playing turd 💩

[ladybug2021]

23 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

He expected you to set up the date. You asked him out, picked out the restaurant, and called the restaurant. He probably thought you were going to pick the time too. 

No, he asked me out, not me. He remembered me mentioning the Italian restaurant and asked if I wanted to go there and I said yes. The only thing I did was calling the restaurant to see if they are open, and then told him. 

[ladybug2021]

23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. Perhaps your first impressions were correct, he's a game playing turd 💩

I don’t know if he is or not, but I think things should be easy and effortless, not with all these issues just to set up a date. This is exhausting.

[Miss Spider]

5 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

No, he asked me out, not me. He remembered me mentioning the Italian restaurant and asked if I wanted to go there and I said yes. The only thing I did was calling the restaurant to see if they are open, and then told him. 

Ah okay I see. Yea that’s very odd. Dont understand the difficulty. Next 

Edited December 12, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, ladybug2021 said:

So today at lunch time I called the restaurant and they said yes they are open, I sent him a message saying that to him and he responded great and that he was going to walk the dogs and to the gym and we can set up the time later. I said ok. 

Everything was/is always "later" with this guy.   Even when he initially suggested dinner and you said yes, instead of scheduling a day and time, he said "we can schedule later" or something like that.  But never did if I'm remembering this correctly, I may not be.

Some unsolicited advice?  Best to stay away from guys who use "later," "maybe" or "soon." 

These are avoidance tactics in my experience.

Men who are serious about meeting and dating are much more definitive and they follow through in a timely manner. 

Edited December 12, 2020 by poppyfields

[ladybug2021]

19 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Everything was/is always "later" with this guy.   Even when he initially suggested dinner and you said yes, instead of scheduling a day and time, he said "we can schedule later" or something like that.  But never did if I'm remembering this correctly, I may not be.

Some unsolicited advice?  Best to stay away from guys who use "later," "maybe" or "soon." 

These are avoidance tactics in my experience.

Men who are serious about meeting and dating are much more definitive and they follow through in a timely manner. 

Yes you are right. He asked me for dinner, I said yes and then nothing. Only when I asked him when are we having dinner, he said oh ‘I can any day, you say’. 

And the same today. When I told him I called the restaurant instead of scheduling the time to meet, he said ‘later’. 

It makes me feel he is not really keen on meeting me, I’m just one more on his list to meet whenever suits him. Not compatible.

This is the type of guy that makes you questioning yourself like I am demanding or have some kind of issue, when in fact I am simple and uncomplicated and just want someone on the same page. Wanna meet, ok, let’s set up when and where. Simple.

Edited December 12, 2020 by ladybug2021

[FMW]

24 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Everything was/is always "later" with this guy. 

Yes, this is the key.  Doesn't matter if he's going to the gym, walking the dog, or whatever else he is doing, he can set the time to meet and make sure he gets all those little tasks done in plenty of time to be there.  

I'm happy to hear you've lost interest.  No reason to have any further communication with him.  

[poppyfields]

22 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

This is the type of guy that makes you questioning yourself like I am demanding or have some kind of issue, when in fact I am simple and uncomplicated and just want someone on the same page. Wanna meet, ok, let’s set up when and where. Simple.

Bolded, not really LB.  Had you nexted this guy at the first sign of flakey behavior, which there was plenty of hence this thread, you end the opportunity for him to cause you to question yourself about anything.

Seriously, next time, instead of getting wound up (which let's face it, you kinda were) and creating a thread, simply block him and move on to next. 

Do not give him a second thought.  

Have you blocked him?

Edited December 12, 2020 by poppyfields

[ladybug2021]

6 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Bolded, not really LB.  Had you nexted this guy at the first sign of flakey behavior, which there was plenty of hence this thread, you end the opportunity for him to cause you to question yourself about anything.

Seriously, next time, instead of getting wound up (which let's face it, you kinda were) and creating a thread, simply block him and move on to next. 

Do not give him a second thought.  

Have you blocked him?

Yes you are right. I guess I am too sensitive (in life in general), but I need to develop a thick skin and next the guys at the first thing that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Last thing I said to him was exactly that, that everything is always ‘later’ with him and I am not like that. He said ok and stopped texting. 

I haven’t deleted him yet but am going to do that now. Thank you.

[miss2017]

1 hour ago, ladybug2021 said:

No, he asked me out, not me. He remembered me mentioning the Italian restaurant and asked if I wanted to go there and I said yes. The only thing I did was calling the restaurant to see if they are open, and then told him. 

He should be the one asking you the name of the restaurant, asking what time do you want to have dinner, and then calling the restaurant to see if they are open and book a table. After all, HE invited you on a date. 

Instead, he let you call the restaurant and showed little respect for your effort when you told him about the call, by saying you'll schedule the time later. Next the douche. 

[elaine567]

I reiterate he's probably married/attached.
He couldn't get away...

[Miss Spider]

15 minutes ago, miss2017 said:

He should be the one asking you the name of the restaurant, asking what time do you want to have dinner, and then calling the restaurant to see if they are open and book a table. After all, HE invited you on a date. 

Instead, he let you call the restaurant and showed little respect for your effort when you told him about the call, by saying you'll schedule the time later. Next the douche. 

 

6 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

I reiterate he's probably married/attached.
He couldn't get away...

It could be anything, but I agree with miss2017 if he asked you out, he should plan the time AND call the restaurant. That’s what a decent guy would do.  Also I don’t think it was just a slip up he didn’t know to plan a time. Maybe he was sleeping on it/still contemplating if he wanted  meeting up until the very last minute and decided not. I guess this confirms your gut feeling that something was off about him that made you start this thread... trust your gut when you feel off about people 

Edited December 12, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[ladybug2021]

14 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

 

It could be anything, but I agree with miss2017 if he asked you out, he should plan the time AND call the restaurant. That’s what a decent guy would do.  Also I don’t think it was just a slip up he didn’t know to plan a time. Maybe he was sleeping on it/still contemplating if he wanted  meeting up until the very last minute and decided not. I guess this confirms your gut feeling that something was off about him that made you start this thread... trust your gut when you feel off about people 

Yeah I didn't even think about that, but it is true, he should be asking me what time to meet in advance AND call the restaurant himself to book a table. Looking into the situation he basically did nothing.

Although yes I did feel something was off about him that made me start this thread, next time will do as poppyfields said,  just next the guy when something that makes me feel bad comes up and no energy wasted.

Also, I didn't mention before, but this guy was living in my city temporarily with his family because his company is closed for 4 months until February. When it reopens he'll go back to his city where he lives which is nearly 4h drive away. So, that was a problem I wasn't exactly enjoying either.

I have blocked and deleted him.

Edited December 12, 2020 by ladybug2021

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, ladybug2021 said:

 he'll go back to his city where he lives which is nearly 4h drive away. 

I have blocked and deleted him.

Excellent 👍. Is he married?

[ladybug2021]

50 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Excellent 👍. Is he married?

I have a feeling he might be, or maybe attached. He probably has someone in the city where he lives. Anyway, not my problem anymore.