Made someone feel I was guilt tripping them, feel awful

[Online_id]

Hello, this is my first post but please feel free to be as blunt as you like, I need the honesty. 
 

I have been seeing this amazing girl for a couple of months now, we don’t see each other too often because our work schedules aren’t the easiest. We were due to meet up the other day but she wasn’t able to make it because she had work she needed to do. I was obviously disappointed but didn’t tell her that as I didn’t want to make her feel bad. So instead just said ‘okay, no worries’. 
 

I was hoping we would just reschedule but she thought I was annoyed at her. I wasn’t but was a bit frustrated that I wasn’t upfront and let her know I was disappointed I didn’t get to see her and will look forward to seeing her next time. 
 

Instead I think this caused a bit of tension and I knew she had a lot going on and so I said I would chill on asking her out for a bit. She took this to mean that I was annoyed and wouldn’t bother because she was choosing to work over seeing me. 
 

This is not what I intended at all, the last thing I want to do is make her feel like I am guilt tripping her. I completely didn’t mean this, I tried to do the exact opposite and I feel like a complete a**h***. I would never expect nor want her to put anything on hold for me regardless of whether this goes anywhere and gets serious. 
 

I don’t really know how to move forward or make it up to her. The more I try to explain myself, I think the bigger hole I dig myself. 
 

Any and all advice is welcome

Edited December 11, 2020 by Online_id
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[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, Online_id said:

I was obviously disappointed but didn’t tell her that as I didn’t want to make her feel bad. So instead just said ‘okay, no worries’. 

That's a fine response. Just set up another time to go on a date.

Never have long drawn out emotionally charged text conversations. It's a rabbit hole that's tough to climb out of.

Just cut to the chase and set up a nice date ☺️

[d0nnivain]

She has poor communications skills.  Yours aren't fabulous either.

She said she was busy.  You were trying to respect that.  She understood you to be acting in a passive aggressive manner.  You need to analyze whether your actions could have led to that conclusion or whether she is paranoid / insecure.   Either way, you need to remind her that that ball is in her court. 

[Online_id]

2 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You need to analyze whether your actions could have led to that conclusion or whether she is paranoid / insecure.

I think it was mainly my fault and I’m probably a little insecure about whether she genuinely likes me so was a bit weird when we talked on the phone after the initial messages by not talking a huge amount. That probably did it more than anything. Often don’t realise things until reflecting later on.
 

Her communication skills are generally a lot better than mine. I’m not here looking to figure if it is my issue or hers. I’m pretty sure it’s mine, I just didn’t know how to let her know that guilt tripping her was the last thing on my mind. 

I appreciate your replies though, so thank you both.

[ShyViolet]

On 12/11/2020 at 6:07 AM, Online_id said:

I don’t really know how to move forward or make it up to her. The more I try to explain myself, I think the bigger hole I dig myself. 

This sounds like a situation of very poor communication on both your parts.  I don't understand the above statement.  This situation should be able to be resolved with a heartfelt and honest conversation between the two of you.  Just say what you mean, don't dance around it or speak in euphemisms.

[Miss Spider]

On 12/11/2020 at 6:07 AM, Online_id said:

I don’t really know how to move forward or make it up to her. The more I try to explain myself, I think the bigger hole I dig myself. 
 

 

You are. Just let it go. You wanted brutal honesty so I am going to let you have it- You sound super needy. Either back off and give her her space or  find someone who needs as much time as you do 

Edited December 12, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes