Question for the women

[Rick31797]

..

This would be a post better for women that have gone through menopause and maybe can understand better at what I am trying to understand ..

 

These are just my thoughts , right or wrong about women that go through menopause. 

 

My belief is they no longer get horny anymore but can certainly still have sex and an orgasm, if they want too.So without that sex hormone that can get you excited , leaves a fair size gap in there sexuality comparing from pre- menopause to post menopause.

 

Before menopause there were sexual acts that a women would go along with , but after menopause some of these acts are now taboo. For example a women that got really horny may do anal but after menopause would feel it’s discussing and dirty.

When a women does not get horny there is quite a change in having sex with them... You can feel they are acting like they are into it, and it feels forced.

 

Of course for a women to even have sex after menopause, they are mostly doing it for there partner , as basically they don’t care if they ever have sex again...but that is certainly the part that’s confusing to me..

 

I will ask the question .. do you find having an orgasm a GOOD feeling ...  , does orgasm feel  bad or uncomfortable....all the answers I can get is , its a good feeling , like it should be.

 

As you get older in life there are less and less good feelings , why would a women not want to have that feeling more often .. It seems that it doesn’t seem to matter if it’s a good feeling , orgasm is something that if it happens once a week or once every 6 months , it doesn’t really matter, and I may be missing the whole point that maybe just getting there is not really desirable....Your thoughts. ??

 

 

[d0nnivain]

I can understand why something may be more painful if there is less lubrication but as for an act that was fine before suddenly becoming "disgusting & dirty" there is no correlation.  

[alphamale]

Having anal sex with a 65 year old woman is not on my to do list

[elaine567]

Quote

Many of the age- and menopause-related hormone changes and vaginal changes that can dampen arousal around midlife can also affect women’s enjoyment of sex and ability to achieve orgasm. Here again, the vaginal atrophy and dryness related to low estrogen play a role, as does reduced blood supply to the clitoris and lower vagina. Also, the clitoris—a key center of sexual pleasure for most women—is likely to be less sensitive than in earlier years, possibly due to reduced estrogen levels and changes in the vascular and nervous systems.
https://www.menopause.org/for-women/sexual-health-menopause-online/sexual-problems-at-midlife/decreased-response-and-pleasure

I think for some women the menopause gives them an excuse to ditch the sexual stuff they do not like doing.
It may be due to pain or disgust as well as the physiological changes outlined above.
Also things enjoyed/tolerated when younger, may not have the same appeal if they now induce pain or disgust with little pleasure involved..
When the reality is reduced pleasure from sex in general for older women, then the trade offs from stuff they may never have really enjoyed are no longer likely worth it. She no longer wishes to "go along with it" as there may be no gain for her, in fact it may be a loss...
If the clitoris no longer "works" as a source of pleasure, then why bother?
I also think the "undesirability" of the older woman is a common perception in our society and some older women buy into the concept.
So past a certain age,  she no longer feels sexy and may prefer to  abandon the thought of herself as a sexual being.
She can then merely "go through the motions" or give up all together...
As their partners are also ageing, the older woman may no longer find her older sexual partner that sexy either so prefers to pass, or just puts up with it. She may have no real desire for him...
 

[Miss Spider]

1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

I think for some women the menopause gives them an excuse to ditch the sexual stuff they do not like doing.
It may be due to pain or disgust as well as the physiological changes outlined above.
Also things enjoyed/tolerated when younger, may not have the same appeal if they now induce pain or disgust with little pleasure involved..
When the reality is reduced pleasure from sex in general for older women, then the trade offs from stuff they may never have really enjoyed are no longer likely worth it. She no longer wishes to "go along with it" as there may be no gain for her, in fact it may be a loss...
If the clitoris no longer "works" as a source of pleasure, then why bother?
I also think the "undesirability" of the older woman is a common perception in our society and some older women buy into the concept.
So past a certain age,  she no longer feels sexy and may prefer to  abandon the thought of herself as a sexual being.
She can then merely "go through the motions" or give up all together...
As their partners are also ageing, the older woman may no longer find her older sexual partner that sexy either so prefers to pass, or just puts up with it. She may have no real desire for him...
 

Interesting points. There are too many older women who have a high libido with the right person to think that the problem is insurmountable if the  desire is there 

Edited December 12, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Rick31797]

First of all , the anal example was probably a poor example ..

my point is that women post menopause, sexually change there behaviour because they no longer get horny...That was the just of the post.

There is no pain , there is Orgasm, and easy orgasm.....my question was , assuming orgasm is a good feeling , why don’t women want more .. I am going to guess and just say orgasm feels good but it’s not desired.....

what else changes during post menopause for women and it is linked to getting excited when for example they see there partner naked in the shower .. or just general events that may turn on a women ,  every women has that ....but post menopause women do not get turned on, so all that is gone...

If you get turned on seeing your man shower , post menopause he could be in there all day and you would not even get that tingly feeling , you once had .

its surprises me what a big piece of sexuality menopause takes out of a women , it can even change there personality.

I am not trying to bash women , it’s all apart of life , and it must be hard to go through, I thought it was just a few months but it goes on for years .

[FMW]

3 hours ago, Rick31797 said:

Of course for a women to even have sex after menopause, they are mostly doing it for there partner , as basically they don’t care if they ever have sex again

uh, wow.  Wrong. That might be true of SOME women, but I can guarantee you it's not true of all.  

[Rick31797]

I can be certainly wrong about that statement..

[Wiseman2]

Are you having marital problems?

It sounds like your partner is bored or turned off by you.

Have you let yourself go? Do you just schlump around the house and forget about romance?

Are there arguments or other standoffs? Whatever is happening ( or not happening) in the bedroom usually starts someplace else.

For example seeing you in the shower is not romantic nor exciting to her.

Get to marriage therapy and educate yourself better on the aging process and your sexuality.

[basil67]

I went into menopause at 42.  And my sex drive tanked very quickly.  I went from being super horny, easy orgasm, frequent masturbation to dry vagina, painful sex, orgasms highly difficult to achieve and I never think of masturbating.  Commercial lubricants aren't nearly as effective as natural lubrication, my vibrator is no longer effective, sex is uncomfortable.  I've tried different meds to no avail.

Now let me be clear, none of my previous sex acts are "taboo".  Rather I simply don't have sexual desire anymore.   

I'm devastated by the change and would give anything to have functioning hormones again.

[Rick31797]

Wiseman 2 , I take your a man .....This post is for the Women .. none of what you needs an answer because it does not apply.

 

Basil67 ..Thankyou for your honesty ,  Aging is no fun , whoever said the golden years must have retired very young . And pain will take the fun out of anything in life . It’s all just a life adjustment we all don’t want , but should be content for the things we can still do...take care .

[desertstar]

I’m going through menopause.  Does sex feel different?  Yes.  Do my parts respond a bit different?  Yes.  But as for ‘when women go through menopause they no longer want sex’ or feel desire, that is absolute nonsense.  It’s not a rule, a given, a biological imperative.  Going through menopause is;   but not all women experience it the same way!  
 

I’m not saying it isn’t perhaps more common for a woman’s sexual interest to drop during and/or after menopause; but like everything human, it varies.  And I think since our culture seems to see older women as ‘non sexual’ for the most part, it’s easier to see that and expect that.  Maybe it’s more likely for some women to be influenced by that attitude.  But.  There are many exceptions!

Edited December 19, 2020 by desertstar

[Cheryl Grey]

I'm in menopause and I am more interested in sex than ever before. I feel this is because I am older and more experienced in life, more comfortable in who I am and willing to be more experimental as I have stopped judging myself and feel freer and more powerful as a human. I'd consider bisexual encounters too.

If your partner is not responding to you I feel it is more about your relationship than her menopause.

One myth about menopause is that it makes women cranky. Women get TIRED because menopausal symptoms disrupt sleep especially with heightened body temperatures. The best experiences I have had around menopause is when a close male friend actually asked me how it was for me, rather than judging me and assuming a whole lot of preconceived notions.