elaine567 Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 (edited) Ok so what happens if you tell her and she says she knows or nothing changes. They are likely both in their 50s, so she will probably not want to leave nor will he so you may not be dropping a bomb, more like a small squib... Edited December 15, 2020 by elaine567 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 Yeah. It probably won’t do anything but make you look like the crazy jealous s***stirring other woman. I mean it may even bring their marriage closer together if some posts on here are any indication. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: Ok so what happens if you tell her and she says she knows or nothing changes. They are likely both in their 50s, so she will probably not want to leave nor will he so you may not be dropping a bomb, more like a small squib... For all you know, you and the other woman he is flirting with at the moment are not the only ones... he is, as they say, a serial cheat. It’s entirely possible that this is not his first rodeo. If a man can be THIS deceptive, to several different women, it’s entirely possible that he’s been running this show for years. His wife may well know of his exploits, and she may have made her peace with him long ago. Edited December 15, 2020 by BaileyB 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 22 minutes ago, BaileyB said: His wife may well know of his exploits, and she may have made her peace with him long ago. Or she may not actually care. He is a guy who has been travelling around a lot for years, she may have her own life even her own "friend". Or she may be totally oblivious and has relied on blind trust for years. Some of these guys are pretty good at schmoozing the wife and making her feel special, or he may genuinely love her and all the rest are just about his sex drive or need for attention out on the road...IMO leave the wife out of this, You don't really need an enemy... Whatever happens it will not make you feel any better, he has still replaced you with another, telling the wife will not alter that fact... It will just take some time till you get him out of your system. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 12 hours ago, VD01 said: Then I get sad and hurt and dying of jealousy. Do whatever is best in the long run for yourself. If your job is such that the discovery of the affair would jeopardize it. Think carefully. Don't be jealous, be glad you dodged a bullet and someone else is his target now. Pity the new GF and wife, and thank the stars you're out of this mess. You miss the idea of a relationship, not him per se. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VD01 Posted December 16, 2020 Author Share Posted December 16, 2020 I honestly do not know how to move on from this. I am starting to look crazy. I did NC for a week but eventually I ended up contacting him and ended up talking about how hurt I am etc and he ended up saying sweet words and try but in the end I get jealous and do NC again and then go back. It's getting toxic now...with me doing nothing but show how hurt I am and complain. Still I want him and his attention. It hurts a lot. I do not know what to do anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 18 minutes ago, VD01 said: I ended up contacting him and ended up talking about how hurt I am etc and he ended up saying sweet words and try but in the end I get jealous and do NC again and then go back. You're stressing, crying while he's playing with his shiny new toy. Maybe look into therapy. I hear you can now get it online. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VD01 Posted December 17, 2020 Author Share Posted December 17, 2020 22 hours ago, stillafool said: You're stressing, crying while he's playing with his shiny new toy. Maybe look into therapy. I hear you can now get it online. This is what I honestly do not understand. I keep breaking up and even try NC. Actually this has been going on for months now. And he keeps texting me. He told me we should try to work it out and I will try and he will try. But I know every time he looked at his phone and text someone with a really happy eyes, then I get hurt and get angry and he will stop and so on... why can't they just be honest... just set me free. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 1 hour ago, VD01 said: just set me free. Set yourself free? He isn't holding you. Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron007 Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 8 hours ago, VD01 said: This is what I honestly do not understand. I keep breaking up and even try NC. Actually this has been going on for months now. And he keeps texting me. He told me we should try to work it out and I will try and he will try. But I know every time he looked at his phone and text someone with a really happy eyes, then I get hurt and get angry and he will stop and so on... why can't they just be honest... just set me free. You ARE free. You already wasted away your mid to late twenties on this 55 year old.. do you want to waste your 30's as well? You are acting like a teenage high school girl, not a 30-year old - please seek therapy. There are tons of dishonest men out there - what matters is how YOU choose to deal with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 9 hours ago, VD01 said: he keeps texting me. ... just set me free. You set yourself free by deleting and blocking him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. The job of freeing yourself is your responsibility, not his. Link to post Share on other sites
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