mark clemson Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 19 hours ago, Shaun29 said: Conjugal visits - are they really a thing in America? I'm not 100% sure as I'm fortunate enough to never have been incarcerated. There's a good chance it varies by state here, as each state has it's own penal code, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 20 hours ago, mark clemson said: I'm not 100% sure as I'm fortunate enough to never have been incarcerated. There's a good chance it varies by state here, as each state has it's own penal code, etc. Conjugal visits in US are conditional and eroded to six states: California, Connecticut, Mississippi, New Mexico, New York, and Washington. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 On 12/16/2020 at 5:50 PM, Shaun29 said: I'm going to prison for GBH (Serious Assault). I know that sounds bad but I am not normally violent it was just something that got out of hand. Obviously I've never laid a hand on my gf or her son. It was just something that happened that I wish never did but it did and UI have pleaded guilty and will do my punishment and move on. I never planned on any of this happening. If you were my client I would have you taking an anger management course either in prison or on release. All you can do is take responsibility as you have and ensure it never happens again. I wish you all the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Millennial Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 While not exactly ideal, I don't see a year in prison on a one-off occurrence as being enough to stop someone who is meant to want to spend their entire life with you including rough times. In fact, I've seen the opposite with people before. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 On 12/16/2020 at 7:14 PM, Shaun29 said: I know I would be able to speak to them on the phone but proper visits would definitely be something to look forward to and help me get through. Focus on what programs are there. For example courses? A library? Therapy? Focus on being a "model prisoner", so you get/keep some privalges. And hopefully keep your sentence from increasing. The best advisor for you right now is your criminal defense attorney. Conjugal visits should be the least of your concerns at this time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 On 12/16/2020 at 6:50 PM, Shaun29 said: Yeah I know a lot of people will think like that and he probably does but hasn't done anything about it - probably because he knows I won't be around for much longer now but no idea what he will do then. The thing is that I am much closer to his son than he is and he left them both so that's not a great record either. I'm going to prison for GBH (Serious Assault). I know that sounds bad but I am not normally violent it was just something that got out of hand. Obviously I've never laid a hand on my gf or her son. It was just something that happened that I wish never did but it did and UI have pleaded guilty and will do my punishment and move on. I never planned on any of this happening. like I said, I hope you get through your time quickly. I do believe you never touched them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 45 minutes ago, usa1ah said: I do believe you never touched them. Please. I'll start by saying that I think Shaun here is being remarkably candid and has accepted it, which absolutely works in his favour as far as his moral compass, and is to be commended for it. In his case, it does look like a one-off and may be explained by his past as a soldier. Others, who have never been soldiers, may not be so forward. That said, when you get a prison sentence for GBH, proof has been established. Like, someone got badly hurt. Grievious Bodily Harm is pretty serious, to the point where someone almost died. Unfortunately, that's not one of those things you can mitigate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shaun29 Posted December 20, 2020 Author Share Posted December 20, 2020 On 12/17/2020 at 2:48 PM, trident_2020 said: A quality woman isn’t going to stay with a guy who is headed to prison for 2 years. So if she sticks around and waits for you she’s not worth it. Seriously that's warped. Whatever I've done is one thing but she has done nothing wrong and assuming we make it through that doesn't make her any less a person. What you said just sounds crazy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Focus on the positive @Shaun29 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shaun29 Posted December 20, 2020 Author Share Posted December 20, 2020 On 12/17/2020 at 4:57 AM, gaius said: I don't know what you did but I get the urge to beat people to death every day and don't, partially because I have a wife and step kids at home who I love and who depend on me. Getting myself imprisoned would be a betrayal to them. And a failure of my role as the man of the house. Can a relationship survive prison? Maybe. But you have to view it from that perspective, that you've given her good cause for it to not survive. And that from her perspective if you've done it once, why wouldn't you do it again? You'll have to make maximum effort to rebuild that trust. And understand that she's not out of line for being skeptical or pulling back. Serving in the military and going to prison aren't even in the same ballpark. Yeah I know beg in the Army is totally different than getting sent to prison. I am proud of havig been in the military and it was a great part of my life overall. Am not comparing it like that at all. But as another poster said it seems that alot of people who have served in the Army get into problems later on. There is a organisation here that supports ex military people in trouble and I have been in touch with them through an old friend of mine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shaun29 Posted December 20, 2020 Author Share Posted December 20, 2020 On 12/19/2020 at 7:26 PM, Emilie Jolie said: Please. I'll start by saying that I think Shaun here is being remarkably candid and has accepted it, which absolutely works in his favour as far as his moral compass, and is to be commended for it. In his case, it does look like a one-off and may be explained by his past as a soldier. Others, who have never been soldiers, may not be so forward. That said, when you get a prison sentence for GBH, proof has been established. Like, someone got badly hurt. Grievious Bodily Harm is pretty serious, to the point where someone almost died. Unfortunately, that's not one of those things you can mitigate. Yes I am not blaming anybody else or anything else for what I did. I know i was in the wrong and will pay the price. I am not an angel for sure but have never done anything like this before. When I saw the CCTV it looked bad and I was ashamed especially as from my Army time I am meant to be able to control myself and I didn't. The injuries were bad but it wasn't anything like he could have died. I'm charged with the less serious GBH 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Wishing you well for next few years, Shaun, whatever your lady decides to do. You are not 30, you have your life ahead of you still 🙂. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 13 hours ago, Shaun29 said: . Whatever I've done is one thing but she has done nothing wrong and assuming we make it through that doesn't make her any less a person. Well that's right. So much is uncertain and up in the air. You don't know how prison will be or how it will change you. Or what happens after. She and everyone else in your life needs time to process this. Tow the line. Do whatever your attorney advises throughout your sentence. Link to post Share on other sites
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