FMW Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 That was an incredibly insensitive and jerky thing for him to say. He knows how emotional and meaningful this is for you, and he poos all over it?! Only you can decide whether or not you can keep seeing him, but the things you have shared about him are really unattractive. I don't think he will change - he might lighten up for a while every time you tell him how you feel about something he's said or done, but I think it's going to be something that will always be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Feelingemptynow11 said: Not sure it changes anyone’s opinion there was something else my bf said to me last weekend that’s really bothering me and I’m ashamed to admit. Here it is... I got my cat cremated and so I have the urn and a paw print they took ( paw print is in a frame). I was saying to my bf I thought the place did a nice job in terms of sending everything to me and sending a hand written card. He says “I don’t want to upset you but most likely the cremains in the urn are not just your cats but also other cats too”. He went on to tell me when he had his dog cremated he didn’t see a metal piece that was in his body so he knew that wasn’t all of his dogs cremains. He also told me that the paw print is probably some generic thing they use even though I paid for my cats print. Wasn’t sure what to say other than this was a private cremation. Now when I look at these items I’m not sure what to think. Honestly, I don’t know why you are still with this guy? He’s such an insensitive jerk. He was still acting controlling and bossy with you telling you that he was going to be with you forever and marry you. Like, he didn’t even ask you if that’s what you wanted. Then, he was still bossy and controlling here, telling you that your cat’s ashes aren’t even just your cat and that your cat’s paw print is generic. FYI he’s a liar. He isn’t a Veterinarian so he hasn’t a clue. And what a truly horrific thing to say to you. My cat died 3 years ago, and I WATCHED the vet put her paw on the wet clay. I also watched the vet clip some of my cat’s fur in a tuft for me. AND, I watched them bring my cat to the back where they cremate the deceased pets. So, your boyfriend is just trying to dominate you and still control you with his opinion, that he treats as fact, that you don’t question because you love him. When are you going to accept the truth: your boyfriend is a dominating, controlling, selfish jerk to you and to your son. Edited January 5, 2021 by Watercolors Link to post Share on other sites
HelenB Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 His behaviour is to do with his own issues. Maybe it’s his way of showing he cares( something he has learned from a caregiver) but either way, you could explain to him how it makes you feel with out blaming him. Set some boundaries and be clear about what is except-able for you. You could start the conversation with, I know you feel like you’re helping me when.... but this is how it makes me feel..... Link to post Share on other sites
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