kel123 Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 My boyfriend and i have been together for over 2 years now. This relationship has really drained the life out of me. I have never loved anyone the way i love him, which is why i have stayed. I just keep hoping that one day it will change, but i am honestly over it now. He has flirted with other girls & talked to other girls the entire relationship. He has had tinder the entire relationship. If i ask him about it, he comes up with the dumbest excuses like it’s his friends doing it. I want to believe it but I just know that’s most definitely not true. I know I am an idiot for staying but i just try to push it away and not think about it. When I’ve tried to break up with him before, let’s just say it hasn’t gone well at all. There’s a lot more he’s done but it’s way too much to go into detail about. I had a bad feeling tonight... and then i saw in his phone that he has been seeing escorts. I don’t know what to do or how to approach the situation. Im really done with the situation I can’t do it anymore. I dont think I could ever look at him the same or ever want to do anything sexual with him ever again . I just need advice please. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 You don't need advice you know exactly what to do... Just do it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 1 hour ago, kel123 said: . This relationship has really drained the life out of me. . He has flirted with other girls & talked to other girls the entire relationship. He has had tinder the entire relationship. i saw in his phone that he has been seeing escorts. Sorry this is happening. Do you live together? Why can't you leave? Is he abusive in other ways? The first step is to get to a doctor for STD testing and stop having sex. Be very frank and honest with your doctor and ask for a referral to a therapist. Tell trusted friends and family what's going on if you need help extricating yourself from this. It may be painful to leave but it will be much more painful to stay. He's gaslighting you into thinking "yeah, all guys do this", however you know you're in denial and the truth is simply too painful to think about. What you have uncovered is just the tip of the iceberg. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 2 hours ago, kel123 said: he has been seeing escorts. I don’t know what to do or how to approach the situation. Im really done with the situation I can’t do it anymore. I dont think I could ever look at him the same or ever want to do anything sexual with him ever again . I just need advice please. Get yourself tested for STIs/HIV. Dump him and never look back. And then take time by yourself, to heal and understand why you stayed with a guy who's quite clearly been cheating all along. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 I am truly sorry for your pain. I have been through this twice and broke up 3 weeks ago with a boyfriend of 5 years for cheating on me. He was on several dating websites meeting women for sex. You need to understand these men are sick and will never change. They need constant validation through chasing and having sex with women. That desire is stronger than anything else and they won't hesitate to put your health in danger to get what they want like having unprotected sex or bringing home covid. The first 2 weeks after breaking up with him I was in a lot of pain and missing him and I dreamed of him stopping it all for me. But that will never happen. What helped me understand I HAVE to move on is listening and reading on narcissist cheaters. You're the 'main girl' and all those other women are his 'supply', it's like a drug he can't quit, it rules his life. You will be ok. The first step is to call your mom, your sister, someone that cares about you and will help you surmount this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 You know what do you. You just don't want to do it. Until you get out of your own way on this, expect more of the same. Do you like the person you've had to become in order to have this clown in your life? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 You know what to do. End it. Block him. Get an STD test. Go NC. Get therapy. Work on your self esteem. You just need to take that 1st step & you will on your way to being rid of him. Make 2021 better for yourself. Jettison him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 One thing to remember, he has put you at risk for std’s and doesn’t care. He has never cared for you if he has been able to do this. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 Staying with him is absolutely not an option. Call all your close friends and family to tell them what’s going on so you can gather the emotional support you’ll need to end this relationship, get tested for STD’s (and COVID), and start a new life (and way better life) for yourself without him. It will hurt to leave, yes. But it will hurt SO much more to stay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 Let me guess...he's emotionally kidnapped you, trapped you, manipulated you to be with him, because this is all you know. Run to your nearest dearest friend, even if you cut them out of your life, run to them, you mom, family whomever. Just run, get out, throw your phone away, get a new one, a new number. Hide yourself, keep your loved ones close they will protect you. Link to post Share on other sites
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