Can this work

[trident_2020]

3 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

I am really not interested in paid fake arrangements because there is zero value to be had from them

Fake paid arrangements are of value to the desperate guys who can't get a girl and who long for sex and companionship but have literally no other options. You certainly qualify.

Maybe get yourself one of those realistic sex dolls?

 

[ZA Dater]

26 minutes ago, basil67 said:

People do value personality.  But that successful personality not only has caring, honesty, supportiveness etc but also has emotional intelligence, humour, flirting, fun.    The guys who are winning have all these attributes.  And a perfectly ordinary looking guy will quite easily land a girlfriend if he has this stuff.  

 

They value looks more. Sorry to say miss whoever sits down in a club/bar she is going to want the best looking guy, not sure she even cares about his personality, she will always talk to that guy first and chances are he can flirt and has all those other things too.

[ZA Dater]

21 minutes ago, trident_2020 said:

Fake paid arrangements are of value to the desperate guys who can't get a girl and who long for sex and companionship but have literally no other options. You certainly qualify.

Maybe get yourself one of those realistic sex dolls?

 

No thanks. Not desperate for fake attention at all there is no value to be had there at all.

[trident_2020]

Do you think some, most or all guys in your situation self depreciate and lament their failures in thousands of repetitive posts on a daily basis over more than a decade? If it's not desperation it's certainly obsessive.

 

 

[ZA Dater]

1 minute ago, trident_2020 said:

Do you think some, most or all guys in your situation self depreciate and lament their failures in thousands of repetitive posts on a daily basis over more than a decade? If it's not desperation it's certainly obsessive.

 

 

My point is clear and its continually disputed: looks matter more than anything else, superficial matters more than anything else" with respect its easy to sit and chime in when you have success, very easy to say do this do that but how many people would actually for example go over to the poorly dressed guy over the well dressed one, choose the guy with the Mazda over the Maserati, choose dinner at Mc Donalds over a Michelin star restaurant. How many ACTUALLY would, my guess is VERY few given the choice, its easier to hide behind "well his personality and this and that" but the truth is I have been meeting people for 20 years and EVERYTIME I come against the superficial its a a loss of note. 

Yet, superficial is not important. Not at all.

I am the type of guy who actually did want to date based on the fact I have a lot to offer but what is the point when the same issues with what people here tell me does not matter always DO actually matter. You simply cannot tell me everyone I meet is superficial either or a gold digger or a model or whatever, this is completely true of ALL dating platforms, miss so and so poses in a bikini and get 4500 likes, miss so and so poses in a library and gets 50 likes. Mr so and so poses on a boat and gets 500 likes.

For YEARS I went out with very unattractive people to me because

1: I am told its about numbers

2: Cool lets see if they have a great personality 

Both proved to be horrifically untrue in the extreme. I lost on on EVERY single one of the ones I did like on superficial grounds, be it looks, be it whatever or I am really love this one te most "you don't fit in", "you do not have experience". Both could be construed as superficial.

Bottom line is I know absolutely NOBODY who has superficial qualities who struggles at dating.

Odd really when I am told these qualities have no value and the self same qualities I DO actually have, do have value.

Maybe I am living on another planet.

 

[Weezy1973]

1 hour ago, ZA Dater said:

Might be hard to believe at one point I did believe people valued personality but who the person is but after loss after loss I realized that was not the case, especially when I looked at the sort of guys who are winning at this. 

Ultimately the fairy of tale of "boy meets girl, girl loves boy for who he is not what he has" is just that to me, a fairy tale.

And I get accused of chasing unicorns, there is an irony there somewhere.

First, and again, it’s not either or. It’s not black and white. Every characteristic is on a spectrum. Shades of gray. If what you’re saying is true, only Jeff Bezos and Jason Momoa would find love. 
 

Second, and again, there are plenty of women that value deeper personality traits over superficial traits, but chances are good that they also have deeper personality traits while not having as many superficial traits. But remember it’s a continuum - most people are average. 
 

The irony is that you lament the superficiality of superficial women, yet you acknowledge that you’re only interested in superficial women! 
 

And lastly, your beliefs are skewed because you seem to get your views on love from what happens in clubs, bars, on Tinder, Bumble and possibly from your parents dysfunctional relationship. 

Edited April 15, 2021 by Weezy1973

[jspice]

22 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

First, and again, it’s not either or. It’s not black and white. Every characteristic is on a spectrum. Shades of gray. If what you’re saying is true, only Jeff Bezos and Jason Momoa would find love. 
 

Second, and again, there are plenty of women that value deeper personality traits over superficial traits, but chances are good that they also have deeper personality traits while not having as many superficial traits. But remember it’s a continuum - most people are average. 
 

The irony is that you lament the superficiality of superficial women, yet you acknowledge that you’re only interested in superficial women! 
 

And lastly, your beliefs are skewed because you seem to get your views on love from what happens in clubs, bars, on Tinder, Bumble and possibly from your parents dysfunctional relationship. 

It’s funny that you use Jason Momoa as an example because I just thought of him in this context. 
No doubt, he is beauuuuutiful. I remember when I first saw him in my teens or very early twenties. I couldn’t believe God had made such a fine specimen. But every time he talks, I lose interest. He’s very immature, seems kind of dumb. He seems to be a good dad and husband but his personality is very bland to me. His interviews are very cringe. 

[ZA Dater]

16 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

First, and again, it’s not either or. It’s not black and white. Every characteristic is on a spectrum. Shades of gray. If what you’re saying is true, only Jeff Bezos and Jason Momoa would find love. 
 

Second, and again, there are plenty of women that value deeper personality traits over superficial traits, but chances are good that they also have deeper personality traits while not having as many superficial traits. But remember it’s a continuum - most people are average. 
 

The irony is that you lament the superficiality of superficial women, yet you acknowledge that you’re only interested in superficial women! 
 

And lastly, your beliefs are skewed because you seem to get your views on love from what happens in clubs, bars, on Tinder, Bumble and possibly from your parents dysfunctional relationship. 

Well I'd love to be proved wrong but that is very unlikely. There are people who are attractive overall and those are the only ones I am interested in. How you define overall is very subjective.

You cannot say my beliefs are wrong though....skewed yes but not wrong. 

Funnily enough I do not begrudge women for being superficial, there is nothing wrong with it at all. Much like men who do the same thing because there is an inherent honesty about it, they are upfront about what they find attractive, there is less grey area and you cannot tell me people do OLD in the hope they find a great personality because if this is the idea why not stand around a bookstore or go to Meet Up meeting. 

I openly admit I am useless at dating, in fact I went through years where I actually told dates this, I am not ashamed of being inexperienced but I am jaded to the point of "oh personality matters" when 7 out of 10 times it does not matter one jot. I wear my faults on my sleeve and am brutally honest about them, playing silly games of maybe tell her this or pretend that of over exaggerate that, all totally pointless to me. Sometimes I have wanted to be sick listening to some of the complete rubbish people use when trying to impress so and so. I know these guys well so when they start with this nonsense I usually just switch completely as she sits there wide eyes and amazed at this.

Again that is hardly superficial.

Do I have good examples of relationships, good question, again not really because when I look at every single one of them they are all defined by superficial qualities. Would A be with B if B looked like such and such, absolutely not, would B be with C if C did not have this , absolutely not.

I go out and see the same thing, eventually could not be bothered to go out because if I was not seeing that I was seeing BS selling like a trader trying to sell worthless stocks. 

No the solution for me and my life is to keep chasing once off experiences of some sort, the bar is very high now so I doubt it can be bettered so in some respects I have nothing left to aspire to and chase.

[Trail Blazer]

20 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

You are quite correct re the bold. I am not more superficial than anyone else, would you date the guy in tatty clothes who has an amazing personality over the well dressed guy? Probably not, I just want people would be honest and admit the superficial stuff is vitally important, at least when it comes to initial attraction.

The value was she treated me well and actually took an interest. The fact we still chat most day is FAR more than I got out of ANY OLD date, even the ones I liked threw me away like trash to move onto the next prospect. Sorry but activities do not come much more superficial than OLD and every single thing associated with it.

It's not superficial to only want to pursue those you find attractive.  What is seemingly conflated as superficial is only finding a very narrow pool of women attractive, with that attraction tied solely to their outward physical appearance.

I suppose it would come across as hypocritical to you if a Chris Hemsworth were to only be attracted to the top few percent of women, but to never be actually accused as such, because he can actually date these types of women.

I've been accused of being superficial on this very forum because I've admitted that I will only date women I find physically attractive.  Where I beg to differ is when I state that physical attraction is what draws me, but who the person is is what will retain me.

My friend, if you were able to land the women you desire, your superficiality wouldn't be even called into question because we wouldn't be sitting here mulling over your perpetual dating issues.  You simply wouldn't have issues!

You're no more superficial for finding the same few, top-teir women as Chris Hemsworth attractive.  However, unless you can compete with Chris Hemsworth, feeling resentment towards society and guys like Chris Hemsworth because you, too, cannot land the same girls he can, renders you utterly delusional.

An IG model with 40K followers is either going to want a guy who looks like Adonis, or a guy who is as rich as Adonis' father, Theias, the king of Syria.  You're average looking and earn a modestly comfortable income.  So, you're way off being either.

Your dilemma is that you're smack bang in the middle of the road when it comes to SMV.  Then, the real kicker is that you have no emotional intelligence, can't flirt, can't make a woman laugh - can't seemingly figure out how to elicit any positive emotions out of a woman.

Tell us all again, why you think you should be entitled to a top-teir woman?  And please, spare us all the playing down of just how attractive physically she must be in order for you to feel attraction, because it's obvious that you're only attracted to a very narrow pool of women.

 

[trident_2020]

1 hour ago, ZA Dater said:

My point is clear and its continually disputed:

 

Your point is irrelevant. Ugly guys get chicks too.

You get no one because you refuse to change anything regarding your approach over a decade of failures and thousands of posts and responses that have given you great advice to which your universal generic response is along the lines of "so be it, I'll just give up".

So give up already and stop wasting bandwidth.

 

[Trail Blazer]

19 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

No I simply read them in order. Appearance listed first followed by the other attributes, lets be honest without any physical attraction would the other qualities have interested you at all?

SO, I don't find many people attractive, that is just the reality.

That's been your problem all along.  You're only attracted to women out of your league.  Until this changes, nothing will change. 

You may as well shut up shop, forget dating forever and close this thread.  Your dilemma has been solved.

[Trail Blazer]

19 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

She was, just I failed the superficial test. Again if your partner had not been physically attractive would you have even bothered with him?

Guy tries to chat up lady in bar, do you really think he does not consider what she looks like before choosing to make conversation? You are making my point for me though, the point being you found him attractive, chatted to him and found he had many other good qualities which is exactly my point without the initial physical attraction anything else would be irrelevant, just like it is for me with OLD.

 

The difference is that @BaileyB has already stated that if it were just looks she was after, she would have pursued other guys who were more physically attractive than her current partner.

Yes, there must be some physical attraction in order for a relationship to ensue.  Nobody can date someone that they're physically repulsed by, but that's not nearly the same as only bothering to pursue the upper echelon of attractive people, period.

Where you and most others differ is that your pool of women you find attractive is so narrow, whereas other people's is a lot wider.  I suspect that is because, for those who view attributes other than looks to be as equally or even more important, those people see more scope in attraction and therefore aren't consumed by only one metric used to measure attractiveness; looks.

I suspect that if you derived more value out of good attributes in people other than looks, you may start to find that those attributes are more than just desirable, but rather, they're actually attractive in their own right.  That's an important distinction, because that could be the key to unlocking your rigid view of attraction being tied 100 percent to looks.

[ZA Dater]

1 hour ago, Trail Blazer said:

The difference is that @BaileyB has already stated that if it were just looks she was after, she would have pursued other guys who were more physically attractive than her current partner.

Yes, there must be some physical attraction in order for a relationship to ensue.  Nobody can date someone that they're physically repulsed by, but that's not nearly the same as only bothering to pursue the upper echelon of attractive people, period.

Where you and most others differ is that your pool of women you find attractive is so narrow, whereas other people's is a lot wider.  I suspect that is because, for those who view attributes other than looks to be as equally or even more important, those people see more scope in attraction and therefore aren't consumed by only one metric used to measure attractiveness; looks.

I suspect that if you derived more value out of good attributes in people other than looks, you may start to find that those attributes are more than just desirable, but rather, they're actually attractive in their own right.  That's an important distinction, because that could be the key to unlocking your rigid view of attraction being tied 100 percent to looks.

With respect I disagree. Someone can have amazing attributes but if I do not find them physically attractive those traits are rendered irrelevant. Again when you see two people in a room one is unfit and the other is, which one are you going to want to talk to? Everyone is side stepping this question.

Superficial things help you get into the door for the interview, without them you do not get an interview, I refuse to believe this is incorrect.

My list of attractive qualities in no order

: pretty face

: warm personality

: friendly

: outgoing

: self supporting

: be able to have a conversation

: well spoken

: slim

I do not believe I am setting the bar unreasonably high here at all.

[ZA Dater]

1 hour ago, Trail Blazer said:

That's been your problem all along.  You're only attracted to women out of your league.  Until this changes, nothing will change. 

You may as well shut up shop, forget dating forever and close this thread.  Your dilemma has been solved.

Well nothing is ever going to change there, that I can tell you categorically. For me life is not about settling its about going after the very best you can, I need to chase the best because when I do that I feel like I am living, settling does the exact opposite for me.

Do you know how good it feels to have that special moment where everything comes together, I do actually and no number of "average" OLD dates will give me that feeling. Once you have had that its all you want, nothing else will do.

Leagues are a load of nonsense in my opinion, the dating version of aspiring to a grey 30 sqm flat. Say what you want at least I chased what I really wanted and that does give a me few minutes extra sleep and to some extent makes up for being alone.

[elaine567]

2 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

I do not believe I am setting the bar unreasonably high here at all

You may be right, but do these women want to choose you?
Apparently not..
So unless you set your bar where you have a hope of attracting such a woman, then it is all irrelevant.

[ZA Dater]

2 hours ago, trident_2020 said:

Your point is irrelevant. Ugly guys get chicks too.

Sure, just depends what makes each person happy, I know what makes me happy, that its hard to find/impossible to find is no surprise because nothing I do is easy or easy to find, I have created a life of chasing impossibility with the premise that every so often I get close enough to feel how good it would be.

 

[ZA Dater]

1 minute ago, elaine567 said:

You may be right, but do these women want to choose you?
Apparently not..
So unless you set your bar where you have a hope of attracting such a woman, then it is all irrelevant.

Exactly my point so if that bar is not achievable then I want nothing at all. I know how good it can be, anything else does not interest me in the least unlike many I am not easily swayed so unless I can find something like that I am totally uninterested.

If I never find anything ever again I will at least know for a time I had exactly what I wanted and that is enough. Its better to have had something I really wanted for a short time than to never have it at all. Its like easting McDonalds burgers everyday and than having a private chef cook for you, you might only have it once but once you have had it that McDonalds burger is never going to be the same again.

 

[Trail Blazer]

3 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Well nothing is ever going to change there, that I can tell you categorically. For me life is not about settling its about going after the very best you can, I need to chase the best because when I do that I feel like I am living, settling does the exact opposite for me.

Do you know how good it feels to have that special moment where everything comes together, I do actually and no number of "average" OLD dates will give me that feeling. Once you have had that its all you want, nothing else will do.

Leagues are a load of nonsense in my opinion, the dating version of aspiring to a grey 30 sqm flat. Say what you want at least I chased what I really wanted and that does give a me few minutes extra sleep and to some extent makes up for being alone.

Dude, this is utter baloney.  You are living some delusion.  You have delusions of grandeur.

I have long backed you up in your threads on the importance of sexual attraction and not just settling for someone you're not attracted to...

However, you've just proven that you view relationships as nothing more than a pursuit to acquire the greatest prize you can obtain.

You're never going to have a relationship because you're not seeking love from a woman, you're seeking the greatest arm candy you can find in order to trump your toxic work buddies.

I'll tell you about special moments that all come together because they actually happen with me... I knew the moment I met my girlfriend that she was something special.  I knew that because, I knew she felt that exact same way about me as I felt about her.

People like you are never content.  You'd never get the girl and think, "this is it, I've reached the pinnacle of my pursuit."  You'd never be able to be content because that would be settling.

No, someone like you thinks they do not stand for mediocrity when actual fact, you have no idea what you're missing out on because you have no idea what you actually want.

Leagues aren't nonsense.  You chase out of your league because you don't even know how to start something with a woman within your league.  It's easy to handle failure when failure with a woman out of your league was always fait accompli.

Clearly you find that 97 percent of the female population is unattractive.  You must be some kind of asexual to not be driven by a desire to have sex.  I'm not ashamed to admit that in my younger years I did sleep with one or two undesirables just to quell my sexual urges.

You find that most women are beneath you.  That's because you don't view them as human.  I have no doubt that you treat women fine under normal social settings.  However, when it comes to relationships, you've compartmentalized women as objects to pursue, rather than a potentially compatible human with whom to share your life with.

I'd love to be wrong as I've always wished the best for you, but honestly bud, I've completely lost faith in you after this latest confession.  There is no helping you.  The way you view relationships is completely distorted.  

[Trail Blazer]

34 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

With respect I disagree. Someone can have amazing attributes but if I do not find them physically attractive those traits are rendered irrelevant. Again when you see two people in a room one is unfit and the other is, which one are you going to want to talk to? Everyone is side stepping this question.

Superficial things help you get into the door for the interview, without them you do not get an interview, I refuse to believe this is incorrect.

My list of attractive qualities in no order

: pretty face

: warm personality

: friendly

: outgoing

: self supporting

: be able to have a conversation

: well spoken

: slim

I do not believe I am setting the bar unreasonably high here at all.

What are you doing to attract such a woman?  Nothing...

That kind of a woman has her pick of men.  And, unless there's something wrong with her, a normal and well-adjusted woman doesn't give a damn about rave parties or any other such setting beyond a certain age.

No, that kind of woman seeks a handsome, intelligent, well-adjusted male who's friendly, outgoing, possesses swathes of emotional intelligence and can light up her day whenever he's around her.

The things that men possess which make women feel good are things you do not even understand.  You can't identify with emotional intelligence, so instead you label behavior whereby a man just feeds a woman crap she wants to hear.

By all means, the kind of woman you want is out there.  And, as a man, you have some fine choice which I can relate to.  The difference being, I've already got it because I can talk to women and make them feel good.  I can make them feel like they want to be around me.  Having emotional intelligence is so important.

As for stepping in a room with two people, one being fit, the other fat or whatnot.  Dude, seriously, I don't date women I'm not attracted to.  However, I believe that I'm attracted physcially to many more women than you would be.

If it takes an Instagram model to pique your interest, then you know the problem is with yourself and not the majority of women out there.  Remember, I dabbled in South African dating on Tinder a while back... Cape Town is filled with gorgeous women, you just happen to not see it.

 

[BaileyB]

52 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

My list of attractive qualities in no order

: pretty face

: warm personality

: friendly

: outgoing

: self supporting

: be able to have a conversation

: well spoken

: slim

I do not believe I am setting the bar unreasonably high here at all.

This describes probably 50% of the female population. Which would mean, you should be able to find someone to date... if this was really what you are looking for. But, it’s not. 

[BaileyB]

3 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

Well I'd love to be proved wrong but that is very unlikely.

I proved you wrong yesterday. 

At which point, you rather condescendingly said “whatever makes you happy.”  🙄🤣

[ZA Dater]

13 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Dude, this is utter baloney.  You are living some delusion.  You have delusions of grandeur.

I have long backed you up in your threads on the importance of sexual attraction and not just settling for someone you're not attracted to...

However, you've just proven that you view relationships as nothing more than a pursuit to acquire the greatest prize you can obtain.

You're never going to have a relationship because you're not seeking love from a woman, you're seeking the greatest arm candy you can find in order to trump your toxic work buddies.

I'll tell you about special moments that all come together because they actually happen with me... I knew the moment I met my girlfriend that she was something special.  I knew that because, I knew she felt that exact same way about me as I felt about her.

People like you are never content.  You'd never get the girl and think, "this is it, I've reached the pinnacle of my pursuit."  You'd never be able to be content because that would be settling.

No, someone like you thinks they do not stand for mediocrity when actual fact, you have no idea what you're missing out on because you have no idea what you actually want.

Leagues aren't nonsense.  You chase out of your league because you don't even know how to start something with a woman within your league.  It's easy to handle failure when failure with a woman out of your league was always fait accompli.

Clearly you find that 97 percent of the female population is unattractive.  You must be some kind of asexual to not be driven by a desire to have sex.  I'm not ashamed to admit that in my younger years I did sleep with one or two undesirables just to quell my sexual urges.

You find that most women are beneath you.  That's because you don't view them as human.  I have no doubt that you treat women fine under normal social settings.  However, when it comes to relationships, you've compartmentalized women as objects to pursue, rather than a potentially compatible human with whom to share your life with.

I'd love to be wrong as I've always wished the best for you, but honestly bud, I've completely lost faith in you after this latest confession.  There is no helping you.  The way you view relationships is completely distorted.  

Cool. I have met many people who really stood out because of their.....personality, the fact they were physically attractive made them attractive overall. The difference is I know what I actually want and if I find that I'll be quite happy which is why I can actually walk away not feeling TOO bad. I know full well what I am missing out on and see it most days when I go out.

Believe me I know what I am missing out on, I have had bits and pieces of it over the years but like a good cake I just have to realize some get to eat pieces often while I get sporadic crumbs. 

My entire outlook is driven by experiences, very few of them good so can you blame me for having this outlook? You try being the spare part when everyone else is coupled up, be the spare part nobody is interested in, its not very pleasant but it does toughen a person up to the point of indifference. Do you know what until two months ago I had never had any women take an interest in spending any time with me whatsoever, no before I'd have to beg and grovel, this one actually invited me to spend the day with her. 

I am never going to be desirable enough for anyone I like to sleep with, I have had opportunities before, once with someone so unattractive the idea had no appeal at all, the other with someone so drunk morally I could not. I have given up chasing this, its a bigger loss than even trying to date. If I am going to sleep with someone I want to feel something for them and  have spent a lot of time with them, that is just me. People either respect that or in most cases just laugh at me. Its fine I am used to the ridicule.

[ZA Dater]

13 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

What are you doing to attract such a woman?  Nothing...

That kind of a woman has her pick of men.  And, unless there's something wrong with her, a normal and well-adjusted woman doesn't give a damn about rave parties or any other such setting beyond a certain age.

No, that kind of woman seeks a handsome, intelligent, well-adjusted male who's friendly, outgoing, possesses swathes of emotional intelligence and can light up her day whenever he's around her.

The things that men possess which make women feel good are things you do not even understand.  You can't identify with emotional intelligence, so instead you label behavior whereby a man just feeds a woman crap she wants to hear.

By all means, the kind of woman you want is out there.  And, as a man, you have some fine choice which I can relate to.  The difference being, I've already got it because I can talk to women and make them feel good.  I can make them feel like they want to be around me.  Having emotional intelligence is so important.

As for stepping in a room with two people, one being fit, the other fat or whatnot.  Dude, seriously, I don't date women I'm not attracted to.  However, I believe that I'm attracted physcially to many more women than you would be.

If it takes an Instagram model to pique your interest, then you know the problem is with yourself and not the majority of women out there.  Remember, I dabbled in South African dating on Tinder a while back... Cape Town is filled with gorgeous women, you just happen to not see it.

 

No they are all on Tinder, none match with me.  Post up fake pictures and they come running. Point proven re superficial.

No they do not give a dam about rave parties but holiday houses, expensive dinners, great events, security, those things all come to the fore and well those things are the difference for some. Its all about prestige, how much prestige cloaked as security they can find. Why do I know this because again I have lost out many times. Not matter what I do the outcome is the same, do you think I was always this way, absolutely not, I grew up thinking dating was about the emotions but thanks to a front row seat I have seen in some cases this is irrelevant and the more superficial the offering the less relevant these aspects become.

At the end of the day I have lost before I even start because these supposedly lovely women all want what they want just like I want what I want. The difference is they have men falling over themselves to give them exactly what they want or manufacture so much BS to make them believe they have it. Call me out on this if you want but I have spent enough time around people to see this happen often. 

Sorry but to me spinning nonsense is not intelligent, its pure deception, nothing more. Much like the infamous incident when I lost out at college because some ..... sat down and preached to all and sundry about his dads boat and well that's tickets. How does "make her fell good" compete with that?

You are right I do not know how to "light up anyone's day" but I do know how to care but that's irrelevant.

 

[trident_2020]

1 minute ago, ZA Dater said:

No they are all on Tinder, none match with me.  Post up fake pictures and they come running. Point proven re superficial.

Your point is NOT proven. When I was online dating I only contacted women who are attractive. That "gets them in the door".

Their personality, perspectives, intelligence, depth or lack thereof ultimately makes or breaks it.

And I'm anything BUT superficial. I simply don't want to be with a fat ugly chick.

But some fat ugly chicks get guys and ugly guys get chicks.

You get no one. For reasons that have been clearly explained to you over more than a decade of posts.

You simply choose to ignore it and go in the same circles in your head.

 

 

[ZA Dater]

21 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

I proved you wrong yesterday. 

At which point, you rather condescendingly said “whatever makes you happy.”  🙄🤣

I was actually being quite genuine I do like hearing people who have found what they were looking for which is why even the people I really like when they do find people I am seldom unhappy for them but it always hurts me at the same time because I am human, despite what some here might think. 

One thing I want to add here, I had a coffee with K, her advice "I never liked my bf initially, did not even want to be friends with him but he won me around and we were friends first" which I guess does show for some the friends route can work.