Fallen in love with an affair

[HowieD]

I’m in a long term relationship 7 years. Am somewhat unhappy, I’m not sure if I still love my girlfriend . I met another woman we’ve slept together a few times maybe four. and are messaging each other all day every day but we barely get to see each other, maybe once a month for 6 months now I feel like might be in love with her I constantly think abouther. we connect mentally and emotionally, spiritually like I never have before. there is something special about her and this feeling I have. I feel like I care so much for her that I would give up everything for her, my girlfriend, my dog and my house. It feels like to me that she feels that same way about me. The way are around each other when we see each other She thought that I’d broken it off with my girlfriend (which I did but couldn’t stick to). She is very hurt but keeps righting me telling me how messed up I am for this situation. But I still care for my girlfriend, and I have a sense of duty to take care of her because I have been taking care of her since the moment we met. And it kills me to hurt her. I’ve tried breaking it off but I couldn’t be strong enough because I just can’t hurt her. I do love her I just don’t know if I’m still in love. So my question is, is it normal for an affair to feel like this or Is it possible that it’s actually love?
I think about her constantly. We only see each other when we’re away at work. We both fly in for work from complete opposite sides of the country. I keep thinking I should leave my girlfriend, and move to the other side of the country to be with the other girl. She’s so different they my girlfriend. Is that all it is? Boredom?
It feels like so much more than lust or infatuation.we have the most intense, meaningful conversations.when we make love it’s like our souls connect. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It feels like we’re meant to be together and we’re soul mates.

I think I should leave my girlfriend whether I try to make it work with the other girl or not because I feel so guilty and I feel like I’ve broken my morals and principles too much. The only way I can save face and prevent even more pain is to leave without her ever knowing about the affair. Am I wrong in thinking this? Should I stay, cut the other girl off and try to lie and make it work? I know I can’t be honest with her it would do too much permanent damage to her even if she left me.

min very confused. Should I try to make it work with the other girl? Could it actually be my destiny. It feels like it. I’ve never had feelings like this before. It genuinely feels like magic

Edited December 17, 2020 by HowieD
Additions

[central]

End your current relationship, and then see where things go with the other woman.  Sometimes these things work out, and sometimes they don't, but it will be easier to find out without the guilt and distraction of your gf.  Do it soon, though - don't let this drag on.

[snowcones]

10 hours ago, central said:

End your current relationship, and then see where things go with the other woman.  Sometimes these things work out, and sometimes they don't, but it will be easier to find out without the guilt and distraction of your gf.  Do it soon, though - don't let this drag on.

Yes this, but you won't do this.  Men almost never do.  So keep doing what you're doing until the OW leaves you.

Edited December 18, 2020 by snowcones

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it "feels magical", because it's not real day to day life.

Your life with your girlfriend is more of the realities of humdrum living together, bills, dog, car, etc.

That's the allure of cheating. The escapism, the fantasy, the respite from your real life and real responsibility.

If you did leave your GF and run away with this co-worker, the boring humdrum life of house, dog, bills, etc would just repeat itself.

That means all of a sudden, she's not so magical anymore and then you'll have to cheat on her also to find your escape from the humdrum everyday life.

[Narie]

Yes, break up with your girlfriend. It is a good thing that you are still not married, it will be even more painful for her if you were.

it is unfair for her that you really want to break up with her and in love with someone else while keeping her. She will be fine eventually.

You may think she doesn’t know anything but she’s noticing every thing. You are just hurting her and torturing her slowly until she can no longer take it. So please break up with her.