Is it safe to assume my ex has zero interest in me at this point?

[Rd1977]

I broke up with my ex gf almost a year ago. Since then I've initiated 4 texts to her in total. The first text I sent to her a few months after the breakup and apologized, she never responded. I figured she needed more time, so I waited another few months and texted her again just making small talk, this time she responded, I asked her how she was doing, she said she was good, I said I hoped everyone on her end was doing ok, and she said they were, and that was the end of that conversation. A week later I texted her again asking if she could meet up the next day, she never responded. Again, I figured she needed more time so I waited another few months and texted her again, she responded the next day, we went back and forth a bit (longest conversation we had since the breakup), I ended the conversation and told her I missed her. She didn't say it back. At that point I figured, I'm always the one initiating, and maybe she really doesn't want to hear from me. Also, we are still friends on social media, and up until that point I was liking most of her posts, she maybe liked one or two of mine, and they were just of my kids. My birthday was at the end of last month and I really thought she would send me a text or something wishing me a happy birthday but she didn't. So at this point is it safe to assume she's definitely not interested, and if she was she would have at least initiated one text to me at this point.

Edited December 17, 2020 by Rd1977

[Gaeta]

She is not interested at all. 

You really need to move on. You've lost a full year hoping on a woman that has moved on. You've delayed mourning this relationship, you should have done that months ago and be dating somene new by now. 

[Rd1977]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

She is not interested at all. 

You really need to move on. You've lost a full year hoping on a woman that has moved on. You've delayed mourning this relationship, you should have done that months ago and be dating somene new by now. 

I just figured it was up to me to do the initiating since I was the one who initiated the breakup.  I know she was hurt by it but I guess you’re right she’s moved on.  

[basil67]

You wanted to give her more time.  More time for what exactly?

[Rd1977]

Just now, basil67 said:

You wanted to give her more time.  More time for what exactly?

I believe she was very hurt by the breakup. I may have blindsided her with it so I figured she needed time to get over the hurt.  If she was over it I believe when I sent her the apology she would’ve responded by saying it was ok.  

[basil67]

Do are you seeking forgiveness or wanting her back?

[Ruby Slippers]

If you wanted her back, you needed to do WAAAAY more than send a few piddly texts. By now, a year later, I'm pretty sure she's over it and moved on.

[Rd1977]

12 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Do are you seeking forgiveness or wanting her back?

I think it’s a combination of both.  There are days I want her back and then there are days I know it’s best we don’t get back together.  

[Rd1977]

13 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

If you wanted her back, you needed to do WAAAAY more than send a few piddly texts. By now, a year later, I'm pretty sure she's over it and moved on.

I just felt like I wasn’t getting any encouragement from her when I did reach out. I mean the last time I texted her, she responded the next day, she never did that before.  Even so, I initiated the conversation, kept it going, she was just responding but not really asking me anything and the when I ended the conversation and said I missed her, her response was “good night”.  I’ve apologized twice, I don’t know what else I could’ve done.  I guess I could’ve called but she seemed like she barely wanted to speak to me thru text let alone over the phone, plus I guess I was nervous about calling.

[Ruby Slippers]

You weren't getting any encouragement because she was underwhelmed by your approaches. If she was dead-set against considering you, she would have told you. Most women need to see some kind of grand gesture to even consider taking a guy back, especially one who dumped her. 

The ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine is driving 2,000 miles just to spend Christmas with her where she's visiting her family out of state. Now, that's a GRAND GESTURE. She hasn't even agreed to get back with him, just to spend some time with him and see how it goes. And he still wants to do it. If he had sent her a few little text messages, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have been very encouraging.

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, Rd1977 said:

I think it’s a combination of both.  There are days I want her back and then there are days I know it’s best we don’t get back together.  

 You better know what you want when you reach to an ex you dumped. You've hurt this woman and now you risk re-opening her wounds just because maybe??

[mark clemson]

The simple answer is "yes".

Moving on should be your focus, and it should have become that months ago.

[ShyViolet]

I think you already know the answer to this.  Yes, it's safe to say she has zero interest in talking to you.  That couldn't be more clear.  Don't waste your time thinking otherwise.

[Rd1977]

26 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

I think you already know the answer to this.  Yes, it's safe to say she has zero interest in talking to you.  That couldn't be more clear.  Don't waste your time thinking otherwise.

Then why would she respond to my texts?  She could’ve just ignored them or asked me not to text her anymore but she didn’t. 

[ShyViolet]

17 minutes ago, Rd1977 said:

Then why would she respond to my texts?  She could’ve just ignored them or asked me not to text her anymore but she didn’t. 

She is willing to make small talk, like "How are you", stuff like that.  But any time you asked her to meet up or said you missed her, she did not respond.  So the extent of the communication she is willing to have with you is occasional small talk.  She's not interested in anything beyond that.  I'm not sure what you want from her.

[Rd1977]

18 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

She is willing to make small talk, like "How are you", stuff like that.  But any time you asked her to meet up or said you missed her, she did not respond.  So the extent of the communication she is willing to have with you is occasional small talk.  She's not interested in anything beyond that.  I'm not sure what you want from her.

I told her I missed her and then wished her a good night.  She responded with “good night” so I wouldn’t say she didn’t respond.  

[basil67]

She didn't respond with anything other than small talk

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Rd1977 said:

I believe she was very hurt by the breakup. I may have blindsided her 

Why did you break up? What prompted you to backtrack like this?

It's interesting you would believe there's any interest on her part after you "blindsided" her

It's been a year, surely she's talked to all her people about it and they told her she dodged a bullet.

She's most likely happily dating or involved with someone. 

If you break up, you move on. It's that simple.

[ExpatInItaly]

She is not interested, no. 

You need to let go and move on, man. 

[divegrl]

Hi,

 

Why would you break up with her and then immediately try to get her back.

 

Have a beautiful day friends. 

[Blind-Sided]

As others have already said... you hurt her... she has moved on... you need to do the same.  Stop talking to her, and put her out of your head.

 

[ShyViolet]

9 hours ago, Rd1977 said:

I told her I missed her and then wished her a good night.  She responded with “good night” so I wouldn’t say she didn’t respond.  

Ok but the only thing she's responding with is surface-level small talk.  What is your point?

[poppyfields]

Dude, what are you doing?   Why are you messing her around like this?  

You dumped her, you broke her heart.  You admitted you don't even know if you want her back, so what's your goal here?

To pull her back in?  And then what?  If/when she asks why you keep reaching out, what are you gonna tell her?

Gee, I dunno, to say hi and figure out if I want to get back together or not?

Do you not see how selfish and self serving that is?

The reason why she doesn't initiate or keep the convo going is because you dumped her, and she no longer trusts you.  She doesn't trust your motives for continuing to reach out, and rightfully so.

Leave her be for goodness sake.  Let her move on.  

Just out of curiosity, why did you dump her?  

Couldn't commit? No big surprise there.  Lol.  Even now, you're trying to pull her back in not knowing what the hell you want.  

Please, leave her be. Let her move on.  You move on.  

Good luck. 

[Rick31797]

Your doing all wrong if you think your want her back , your way to late , she has moved on and does not want to be hurt by you again... a few messily text messages, Just reminds her what you did to her , and she don’t want to go there ..

she is probably thinking either you had a fight with a girlfriend or a girlfriend left you , and your feeling lonely, so lets See what the old girlfriend is up too..

my advise ... leave her alone .... a man that was sincere, would meet face to face and poor there heart out to her and then see were things go , but once you hurt a women , they never forget , and she would be guarded ....afraid you may do the very same thing all over again..

move on with your life , I think she would be better off without you , you don’t seem very focus in what you want .

[notbroken]

Don't break this lady's heart again.  Leave her alone.  It won't end well.   Because she hasn't responded, you now subconsciously want her back even more.  You broke up with her for a reason.   Have some empathy and just drop it.   Never contact her again.