Should I give my parents a scare in this case?

[ironpony]

Yeah I hear you there.  It's just the thought of moving back in after leaving is embarassing and awkward for me and just wanted to avoid that and when I move out, I am out, if that makes sense?

[Happy Lemming]

6 minutes ago, ironpony said:

...so I could try going to college for something I guess first, but that will take quite a while so I will stil be living at home then for now I guess.

I was under the impression that the Canadian government has these 8 week classes/courses (free of charge) to train its citizens for various occupations and trades (that earn a living wage). 

Have you looked into any of those programs/vocations??

[ironpony]

No I didn't know of these.  I will look, thanks.  What I find puzzling though, is that when I worked in factory jobs, I had co-workers who worked there as well who had families and kids to support.  So I wonder how they did all that, unless doing that costs less than the wage needed to buy a house?

Edited December 19, 2020 by ironpony

[Happy Lemming]

4 minutes ago, ironpony said:

It's just the thought of moving back in after leaving is embarassing and awkward...

Your parents love you very much and want what is best for you.  If you have to go home (after moving out) there is nothing to feel embarrassed or awkward about.  You will have tried (at least).

[ironpony]

Yes they do.  I would just be embarrassed for myself I guess. 

Edited December 19, 2020 by ironpony

[Happy Lemming]

1 minute ago, ironpony said:

What I find puzzling though, is that when I worked in factory jobs, I had co-workers who worked there as well who had families and kids to support.  So I wonder how they did all that, unless doing that costs less than the wage needed to buy a house?

I know nothing of the Canadian government and how it helps its citizens afford housing (when children are present in the household).  It could be a government program, these co-workers may have been receiving financial assistance from other sources (parents/relatives). These co-workers could have borders in the home, supplementing the household income.

Without auditing their income and expenses, we just don't know.

 

[ironpony]

Yeah that's true.

Edited December 19, 2020 by ironpony

[Happy Lemming]

Just now, ironpony said:

I would just be embarrassed for myself I guess.

"Better To Try And Fail Than Never To Try At All" -- William F. O'Brien

[ironpony]

But in the past when I have discussed moving out they discouraged me from doing it.  They said because of my autism, I just don't have the mental capacity to live on my own, if they have a point.

[Ruby Slippers]

I don't think anybody here knows if @ironpony has the basic life skills to live safely alone in his own place. People on the autism spectrum have different abilities and limitations. It could be that it will never work for him to live alone. 

[Ruby Slippers]

I know a guy with autism who's brilliant in his field (physics and engineering), but lacks certain household/life management skills. He lived with his parents until around age 40, when he got married and they bought their own house. I have a feeling his wife handles the household management things he's not suited to handle. 

[ironpony]

Well when I have had a couple of long term relationships, I spent a lot of time over my gfs places, so maybe I could have an arrangement where the woman would handle some of those managements but maybe most women would be put off by that idea?

Edited December 19, 2020 by ironpony

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

Ironpony is autistic and has always lived at home.
His parents are I guess acting out of concern rather than nosiness.

So it's inappropriate to be saying 'put up or get out'. But even if someone has a learning disability the boundaries are just as important- if not more so.

[Happy Lemming]

9 minutes ago, ironpony said:

They said because of my autism, I just don't have the mental capacity to live on my own, if they have a point.

What do you think??  Can you cook for yourself?? Do your own laundry?? Clean you own apartment/space?? Take care of your personal hygiene?? Prepare a monthly budget and stick to it??

Can your parents give you examples of items you cannot do that would preclude you from living on your own??

[Happy Lemming]

12 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

 It could be that it will never work for him to live alone. 

Yes you are correct, that is the reason I suggested a month-to-month apartment, if something goes horribly wrong... give 30 days notice and you are done with the lease/contract.  (Minimal loss of funds)

[ironpony]

The only one I have had trouble with is the budget one, but I can do the rest.  The cleaning has been a problem in the past since I work a lot and haven't had as much time, but I can try to work on that as well.  But cooking laundry and hygiene have not been a problem.

[Happy Lemming]

9 minutes ago, ironpony said:

Well when I have had a couple of long term relationships, I spent a lot of time over my gfs places, so maybe I could have an arrangement where the woman would handle some of those managements but maybe most women would be put off by that idea?

Does the Canadian government provide "Coaches" to the autistic??

Many years ago, I worked for a company that hired the mentally disabled. Coaches accompanied them for the first couple of weeks until they learned the job.

[ironpony]

Yeah I have done things like that before.  Why?

[Happy Lemming]

2 minutes ago, ironpony said:

The only one I have had trouble with is the budget one, but I can do the rest. 

Perhaps a "coach" or "Friend" or "relative" could help you with the budgeting aspect.

I do think you could learn it.  Have you ever used Microsoft Excel??

[Happy Lemming]

Just now, ironpony said:

Yeah I have done things like that before.  Why?

Well it seems the only thing you need help with is a budget and learning how to budget your monthly income.

It appears everything else... you can handle for yourself.

[ironpony]

Yeah I think so.

[Ruby Slippers]

@ironpony, do you even want to live on your own? 

Your circumstances will limit your dating/relationship pool, but like I said, I know a guy on the autism spectrum who found a woman to marry him and buy a house with him while he was still living with his parents - so it is possible. 

[Happy Lemming]

37 minutes ago, ironpony said:

Yeah I think so.

Well then do a "practice budget"...

Pretend you are still working at your old job... put your monthly income (after taxes) at the top and list each possible expense that you would encounter for the month.  Rent, Utilities, Car Insurance, Car Payment (if applicable), Car maintenance, Food, Renters Insurance, phone, premium TV services (if you like that sort of thing), internet, gasoline, travel & entertainment, savings, etc. and see what is left.

And that is your budget for the month...

[ironpony]

Yeah that's true.  I was close to getting married once, so it's possible.  But I probably shouldn't wait for that before moving out, or should I?  Sure I can try budgeting.

Edited December 19, 2020 by ironpony

[basil67]

2 hours ago, ironpony said:

No I didn't know of these.  I will look, thanks.  What I find puzzling though, is that when I worked in factory jobs, I had co-workers who worked there as well who had families and kids to support.  So I wonder how they did all that, unless doing that costs less than the wage needed to buy a house?

Perhaps they didn't buy a house.   People can rent because they either find it more convenient or because they can't save up a deposit because all their money goes on rent/living expenses.  And we don't know the earning potential of their partner.  Their partner may have a good income or one of them could be working two jobs.