Should I give my parents a scare in this case?

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Ruby Slippers said:

People on the autism spectrum have different abilities and limitations. It could be that it will never work for him to live alone. 

He could live alone with the right supports in place.    A good social worker would be a great start on getting those supports happening.  

[Emilie Jolie]

Plenty of 'people on the spectrum' live perfectly 'normal' autonomous lives to the point where they are almost indistinguishable from people 'not on the spectrum' (who incidentally can also have a mountain of issues and / or various disabilities) without support or social workers. They have good jobs, raise kids, go in and out of relationships, are educated, etc. They are just people. 

I can't speak for @ironponyor what his situation, that is unique to him, is but if he wants to live on his own, he needs to ask for in-person local advice from people who are knowledgeable enough about his circumstances, so he can get concrete help about his living conditions. 

 

[ironpony]

Well I feel like I keep failing to get into the career I want to and I keep failing to get out of the place I want and and I just feel trapped.

[basil67]

@ironpony you're Gen Y.  You're the first generation who was told that career wise, they could be whoever they want to be.  But it's a fallacy.   How many young boys really grow up to be astronauts?   Only a tiny minority.    Most end up being hit with the reality stick and realise that they need to look for a job/career which they have the aptitude for and pays OK.    A role which provides security for their future.  Yes, there are a few successful entrepreneurs, but they are exceptions - not the rule.   

What you are looking at now is reality.    But a different mindset can take you away from feeling trapped.

 

Edited December 20, 2020 by basil67

[Ellener]

12 hours ago, ironpony said:

Well I feel like I keep failing to get into the career I want to and I keep failing to get out of the place I want and and I just feel trapped.

Lots of people feel like that, there's a lot stacked against young people nowadays.

Set yourself small goals first, I will save $100, I will find a course/job etc. 

The budgeting of living alone may be unrealistic financially, lots of people have to share a place to afford that. But you could have room mates rather than parents. 

[ironpony]

10 hours ago, basil67 said:

@ironpony you're Gen Y.  You're the first generation who was told that career wise, they could be whoever they want to be.  But it's a fallacy.   How many young boys really grow up to be astronauts?   Only a tiny minority.    Most end up being hit with the reality stick and realise that they need to look for a job/career which they have the aptitude for and pays OK.    A role which provides security for their future.  Yes, there are a few successful entrepreneurs, but they are exceptions - not the rule.   

What you are looking at now is reality.    But a different mindset can take you away from feeling trapped.

 

Oh actually I was told the opposite, that I couln't be what I wanted, but a part of me would still like to try nonetheless.

[ironpony]

2 hours ago, Ellener said:

Lots of people feel like that, there's a lot stacked against young people nowadays.

Set yourself small goals first, I will save $100, I will find a course/job etc. 

The budgeting of living alone may be unrealistic financially, lots of people have to share a place to afford that. But you could have room mates rather than parents. 

Well it's just that my friends who have all had roommates, at some point the roommates move out and you get screwed, so I never had high hopes there based on friends experiences.  However, I thought the point of moving out was too live alone.  If you are with other people, doesnt' that defeat the purpose of moving out?

[basil67]

The point of moving out is not to live alone, it's to live independently.  Making your own choices, living your own life.   And even if you get a bit of support to manage budgets etc, it's still independent living.    And while roommates don't come with guarantees, I've never been screwed over by one.  In fact, I'm mid 50's and have never lived alone.  

While I applaud trying being what we want to be in a career, there still has to be reality.   Some realities can be changed, such as the change women have made in being able to work.  But some realities are aptitude based, require a lot of money or are highly competitive.  And this is why not all boys can become astronauts. 

[Happy Lemming]

47 minutes ago, ironpony said:

 However, I thought the point of moving out was too live alone. 

Can you research the rental cost on a small studio apartment (month to month) for your area??

I never had much luck with room mates (sometimes it was a necessity) but I tried to avoid room mate situations if at all possible.

I do remember renting a micro studio apartment.  It was inexpensive and was month to month.  I did have to get creative as to where I put the furniture.  In the end, I enjoyed my stay at that complex.

[ironpony]

Oh okay.  Sure I can research that.  Perhaps it's best I try an apartment for a short fime before a house then.

Well I would like to get into the filmmaking career, but it's hard to be taken seriously unless you have produced and directed your own feature film.  I wanted to do my own to break in, but everything I do to try to cut costs, so it can be done on my own money, other filmmakers say the quality will suffer too much and I need more money.  So I feel like when I try to let the ends justify the means, and not spend so much, the reward is not as great in the end.

[Happy Lemming]

1 hour ago, ironpony said:

 I wanted to do my own to break in, but everything I do to try to cut costs...

This sounds a lot like "budgeting"... Perhaps you are better at budgeting than you think.

[ironpony]

Oh well since I thought I was bad at budgeting, I was going to hire a line producer to do the budgeting and help with that though, or at least that is what other filmmakers tell me would be best.

[ironpony]

Well here is the thing I do not understand about my parents, when it comes to poking into my medical mail.  Why did they seem to enjoy the challenge of pushing a person's buttons until they snap?  I told them I didn't want to talk about the medical condition and not have them open any more mail on it and made it clear, and then they did.  Some people have that in their nature it seems, where they can't resist the challenge of "well I pushed this person's buttons and they didn't snap at me yet, so maybe they will if I push just a little more... just a little more...".  Why are some people like that, I don't understand it?

[Happy Lemming]

Here in the US, I pay $92.00/year for a P.O. Box.  I think it might be slightly higher in Canada.

I have ALL of my mail go to my P.O. Box (for various reasons).  Having a P.O. Box would solve any future problems you may have with your mail.

Have you looked into micro/small studio apartments in your area??  When you get re-employed have you thought anymore about moving out??

[ironpony]

Yeah the mail box issue is solved now and I got the PO box, it's just since they seem so interested in my mail, I am worried they may find a way to push my buttons on it still, or pester me with it still.

I haven't looked at apartments yet because I thought I should get at least re-employed first, before I start looking.

[Happy Lemming]

22 minutes ago, ironpony said:

I thought I should get at least re-employed first, before I start looking.

Yes... you will want to get re-employed before you search for a month to month apartment.