Said something wrong to my Girlfriend and she went crying in front of her parents.

[raidmax]

My girlfriend (24F) (now ex) lives with her parents and she invited me (29M) to her parents house. Upon me entering the house she says that her work-day was terrible etc.. (I knew that already as texted me about it the whole day). I then say something that I shouldn't have - I say ''you are complaining way too much about work...'' she then cuts me off and says ''Say that again so that I'll F*** you up'' and then I say that she is complaining way too much about work and she needs to do something about it.

She then rushes up to the kitchen, where her parents were seated, and starts crying and throwing a tantrum and blaming me that I am going to ruin her weekend and that I insulted her. Her mother takes her side and starts hugging her. Her father does the same. After 30 minutes she just ran to the sofa and slept, while she left me alone with her parents. After helping her mother in cleaning the kitchen I went to the sofa to check on her, but she was fast asleep. After an hour I just left and went home.

The next day I try to tell her that she needs to stop hamulating me (see PS: below) in front of her parents. But she says that she's hurt and doesn't want to talk about it. She then tells me that we're not compatible and we should no longer be in a relationship with each other.

PS: Previously, she shouted at me in-front of her brother. She called me names in-front of my parents and her parents. She belittled me numerous times in-front of her parents.

I am now remunerating about the relationship and missing the good times. I know that I should have been more compassionate about her work and I apologized for it. I tried to ask her to meet up to discuss these things in person but she refused. It's been 3 weeks since last contact and I do not know what to do.

TL;DR- Girlfriend breaks up with me for something I shouldn't have said. She throws a tantrum about what I said in-front of her parents.

[LivingWaterPlease]

It seems to me you both have a lot to learn. But, you may have already learned a good lesson so maybe you don't have a lot to learn!

You realize your comment was insensitive, so good for you!

However, are you sure you want to be with someone who lives with Mom and Dad and runs to them right away as soon as she gets upset with you, rather than turning to you to work things out?

She sounds very immature. I don't think she's ready for a relationship at this point, quite frankly. I know you have feelings for her so it's hard to let her go but she needs to grow up some and cut the apron strings before she's ready for a grown up relationship, IMO. If you stay with her it's going to be more of the same, I think.

 

[basil67]

My husband has said the same to me and he's exactly right.   Complaining a few times is reasonable and it's good to be there for a partner.  But there's only so much whining a partner can bear.   And when it gets to that point, the complainer needs to either shut up or change their circumstances.

Frankly, her response to you was far more offensive than what you said to her.    Add that to her calling you names and belittling her in public, I'd say that you're well rid of her.

 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, raidmax said:

..'' she then cuts me off and says ''Say that again so that I'll F*** you up'' 

Sorry this happened but you dodged a bullet.

She was dumping on you about her job too much. While you could have ignored it, defused rather than escalated, perhaps it's a good thing it came to a head.

Dealing with a pampered drama queen is extremely draining.

All you have to do now is delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps.

Put this behind you and start the new year off as a free man who doesn't have to babysit a spoiled princess .

 

[kendahke]

If you knew it was insensitive, why did you say it? She wasn't asking you to fix it in the moment. "Sorry to hear that babe.." and hug her would have sufficed.  Then on a day when she was less emotional/frustrated, talk to her about changing jobs.

What precipitated her going off on you in front of her family? No behavior happens in a vacuum.

Next girl, watch your mouth--words can destroy.

Edited December 19, 2020 by kendahke