Lotus_Luna Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 (edited) We’ve been on/off for almost a year. He was not comfortable with cuddling, staying over, the fact we were even having sex. Because I had NO interest in a relationship I didn’t care how awkward he was. The sex always has been AMAZING. It’s almost irritating that it’s so good with someone so odd. He is starting to break his ‘rules’ with me. Little things, like giving massages, cuddles, staying here...nothing about those acts are special. Just typical affectionate exchanges between fwb but for him it was too intimate. Now he is asking for my attention 3 times a week. He falls asleep spooning me while holding my hand and is starting to really engage me in a flirty way (I had no idea he was capable of flirting). I did mention I wanted a break because to start looking for a partner who is emotional invested in me. I also expressed that while I enjoy him I dont feel we are compatible. After that conversation he’s gotten very affectionate and almost chasing. Is that a sign he no longer worries that cuddling me might lead to a relationship? Or is he trying to show me he is invested? I’ve never had a fwb before, my dating experience  is super limited. I just would enjoy some perspective. I do plan to talk to him, but he tends to struggle communicating effectively, told me he shows through actions. I appreciate any help and be gentle this all new for me.  Edited December 19, 2020 by Lotus_Luna Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 No man wants sexual competition, even in FWB situations. He's giving you just enough attention and affection so that you'll stick around for his sexual benefit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted December 19, 2020 Author Share Posted December 19, 2020 33 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: No man wants sexual competition, even in FWB situations. He's giving you just enough attention and affection so that you'll stick around for his sexual benefit. MY sexual benefit. I’m not looking at him a potential partner. I enjoy as we are immensely but I am starting to date. I don’t want to entertain multiple partners at the same time. It’s just not for me. Which us why I wanted him to understand this arrangement may be suspended. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 I'd say he's getting attached. I doubt that it's calculated just to preserve access, it's just human nature. Sex leads to feelings for most of us. I find it curious that you're not giving that you've been sleeping with him a year and the sex is amazing. What's the deal? Why do you see him as odd? Is he on the spectrum? Do you consider him to not be in your league? If the sex is really that good, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find another one. And when you do, what if new guy doesn't check all the boxes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted December 19, 2020 Author Share Posted December 19, 2020 2 minutes ago, salparadise said: I'd say he's getting attached. I doubt that it's calculated just to preserve access, it's just human nature. Sex leads to feelings for most of us. I find it curious that you're not giving that you've been sleeping with him a year and the sex is amazing. What's the deal? Why do you see him as odd? Is he on the spectrum? Do you consider him to not be in your league? If the sex is really that good, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find another one. And when you do, what if new guy doesn't check all the boxes? I think highly of him as a person. He is a good father, he gives a lot to the community and genuinely cares about people. He is a little quirky, which is fine. I find it amusing and endearing. As for looks, he is very good looking too. Nice body and sensual lover. We are very very compatible there! Sex was amazing from the first time. He is a very conservative Christian and deeply devoted to his faith. Which again, very honorable. But I am a pagan witch (he doesn’t know that) and I feel our approaches to life are incompatible. I enjoy his perspectives and opinions but I don’t feel like building a life with someone who is so different. Like our first ‘date’ where we hung out I immediately friendzoned him emotionally. But was excited to be friends... then we had sex once and never stopped...  Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 31 minutes ago, Lotus_Luna said: He is a very conservative Christian and deeply devoted to his faith. Which again, very honorable. But I am a pagan witch (he doesn’t know that) and I feel our approaches to life are incompatible. Well, never say never... I take it that you hold back on the Jesus Christ expletives when he gets you off? An equal opportunity pagan witch- diversity is a good thing 💥💦 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted December 19, 2020 Author Share Posted December 19, 2020 1 minute ago, salparadise said: Well, never say never... I take it that you hold back on the Jesus Christ expletives when he gets you off? An equal opportunity pagan witch- diversity is a good thing 💥💦 I am meeee around him. He is kinda prude on the surface but super kinky, I am open and direct. Which I guess is a nice balance? I always feels like a handful around him because he tends to be reserved and I’m a loud mouth. Like we have fun, he just is atypical in how he handles me. I honestly haven’t had a man behave the way he does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted December 21, 2020 Author Share Posted December 21, 2020 Well last night he came and things felt different. I felt something and almost stopped to ask him what we were doing. Because that didn’t feel like our normal romp, that felt like feelings... So now it doesn’t matter, if I start having feels it’s over. I just have to see if I’m lonely or genuinely having feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Monty4321 Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Any update lol? Link to post Share on other sites
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