Not sure if this meetup event host is being friendly or hitting on me?

[Katkats7777]

I'm in a few meetup groups, I haven't attended any meetups since last year, in one of the groups that I'm in, there was a ice skating event yesterday. out of the blue, the host sent me a message just asking how I was, etc, etc. and informed me that he was hosting an event and that he would love to see me there and that we "can catch each other if we fall" while skating or something along those lines, I told him that I wasn't going due to work or and not doing anything in groups yet, then he suggested some virtual drinking like on zoom, I was like ok, that's fine, then he gave me his facebook info to add him, I told him that I didn't have fb anymore, and that I have a snapchat, so we were chatting on snapchat,  asked me if I was free to chat that evening or sometime this weekend because we didn't get a chance to talk, then he told me that he think he might of saw me at an event , I told him yeah, last year I think he hosted an event, but we didn't really talk, because it was at some beer tour place then at an gaming place, I was only there for the tour. 

The meet up group that I'm in isn't some dating group its just an social group for 20's and 30's ppl. And I know there are ppl in meetup groups that become friends outside of the group and actually hang out/become friends on social media....guys and girls, not like in a romantic type of way. Is he just being friendly? 

[Wiseman2]

50 minutes ago, Katkats7777 said:

asked me if I was free to chat that evening or sometime this weekend because we didn't get a chance to talk

If you're interested, accept his offer.

[Katkats7777]

Interested in what??? I'm asking if he was hitting on me or is just being friendly. Besides, I'm seeing someone right now, so why would I talk to him in private when clearly I wasn't even active in this meetup group for the past year and a half? 

Edited December 20, 2020 by Katkats7777

[Cookiesandough]

He’s hitting on you. They arent supposed to do that but meet up hosts are just people who decided to make a group on meet up. Sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable. Anyway, why ice-skating meet ups are still going on during a pandemic is beyond me

Edited December 20, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Katkats7777]

Yeah, well I told him that I wasn't going to any events in the near future due to the pandemic, which he suggested that I have to get my socializing on at some point to which he pointed out the "virtual" drinking. The whole "lets catch each other if he fall while ice skating" was a bit weird. 

[alphamale]

5 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

 

 

[alphamale]

This guy is a creep/weirdo

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

, I'm seeing someone right now, so why would I talk to him in private 

Ok,then politely shut it down. If you are seeing someone why do you care if he's interested or not? 

Just say no. Simple.

[QuietRiot]

15 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

I'm in a few meetup groups, I haven't attended any meetups since last year, in one of the groups that I'm in, there was a ice skating event yesterday. out of the blue, the host sent me a message just asking how I was, etc, etc. and informed me that he was hosting an event and that he would love to see me there and that we "can catch each other if we fall" while skating or something along those lines, I told him that I wasn't going due to work or and not doing anything in groups yet, then he suggested some virtual drinking like on zoom, I was like ok, that's fine, then he gave me his facebook info to add him, I told him that I didn't have fb anymore, and that I have a snapchat, so we were chatting on snapchat,  asked me if I was free to chat that evening or sometime this weekend because we didn't get a chance to talk, then he told me that he think he might of saw me at an event , I told him yeah, last year I think he hosted an event, but we didn't really talk, because it was at some beer tour place then at an gaming place, I was only there for the tour. 

The meet up group that I'm in isn't some dating group its just an social group for 20's and 30's ppl. And I know there are ppl in meetup groups that become friends outside of the group and actually hang out/become friends on social media....guys and girls, not like in a romantic type of way. Is he just being friendly? 

 

Putting Covid out of equation, any group labeled with the word "social' in it, like "Boston 20/30s social club" or perhaps even "happy hour", people are more than likely going to be single and looking. That's what I've found with the Meetups in my area wind up being.  About over 90% of the people that attend these social type Meetups are unattached.  If you want to avoid that, find a more activity specific group like hiking or some outdoors related groups. Or some specific hobby.

A group where you just hang out around a bar and chat is just more of a "single and on the prowl" scenario.

[Cookiesandough]

10 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

 

Putting Covid out of equation, any group labeled with the word "social' in it, like "Boston 20/30s social club" or perhaps even "happy hour", people are more than likely going to be single and looking. That's what I've found with the Meetups in my area wind up being.  About over 90% of the people that attend these social type Meetups are unattached.  If you want to avoid that, find a more activity specific group like hiking or some outdoors related groups. Or some specific hobby.

A group where you just hang out around a bar and chat is just more of a "single and on the prowl" scenario.

Exactly. If it is just a event where there isn’t a specific thing involved and it’s just mingling, you will most likely get this. A lot of guys see the general social events like these  as a pool to pull eligible women from 

[Millennial]

Have to say that the meet-up groups that I've attended have just been fun and everyone being really good to each other. People pairing up in social settings is par for the course.

I have not seen this "prowling", and believe you me I'm partial to a good prowl every now and then.

I think it's problematic when some guy is organizing the thing and engaging in funny business though. That's a position of leadership (sort of) being misused.

[Cookiesandough]

Not saying anything is wrong with it, but I have been to to meet ups of the ilk Quietriot speaks of. They are general meeting people/networking events. It was literally called 20s and 30s something something such. Not even specified for singles, because there were a few couples.

 

 I was hit on by people at the meetup, including organizer, and far from the only lady that was hit on. I’ve heard it’s common . Multiple hook ups happened that night. It was funny because it was so dramatic when I went to my second meet up, same group, because  the organizer was trying to go ghost on of the members after a ONS at the last meet up. What’s not funny is  I actually consoled her in the bathroom as she cried about his “emotional problems“ meet ups can’t be a shtshow and I wouldn’t probably go back, even though I did make some friends, unless it was for a more specific purpose. And it is completely natural, you are right.

Edited December 22, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[alphamale]

17 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

 

Putting Covid out of equation, any group labeled with the word "social' in it, like "Boston 20/30s social club" or perhaps even "happy hour", people are more than likely going to be single and looking. That's what I've found with the Meetups in my area wind up being.  About over 90% of the people that attend these social type Meetups are unattached.  If you want to avoid that, find a more activity specific group like hiking or some outdoors related groups. Or some specific hobby.

A group where you just hang out around a bar and chat is just more of a "single and on the prowl" scenario.

Lots of alcoholics in those happy hour group 

[Millennial]

It's a shame to hear that people have had traumatic experiences.

Generally any nightlife involves adults 18-40 having consensual sex.

I found people to be fine. Not tried things like painting etc.

[Cookiesandough]

Yes, I agree. It is to be expected. I wish I was attracted to more people there. Unfortunately, it was just not my scene. 

Edited December 22, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[QuietRiot]

Oh, this reminds me of a woman I spoke to that had a live-in boyfriend that worked the late shift and weekends and such, so she would be alone on a Fri or Sat night...she attempted to go to these types of Meetups, only to be hit on constantly, some would continue even though she would mention "...my boyfriend and I... " in a sentence. lol 

Needless to say, she never went back.

[Cookiesandough]

I think a lot of people who go to the general meetups are new in town or just don’t have many friends... I know I was the only one in my group of friends that would ever consider going to a meet up but that’s just my personality. I’m strange. Plus, I wanted to make new friends. my friends side eyed me and were  kind of judgey about me going, I could tell,,, 
I tried to get one of my boyfriends to go with me to one and he didn’t seem too thrilled with the idea. 
I would say “my bf ” line Most guys will just PM you after the meet up like 0P situation I turned off my messages, but organizers can always  message. Also, there are people that follow women from one meet up to the next so I advise making your meet up group list  private and rsvp at the last min 

 

Edited December 22, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[QuietRiot]

3 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

I think a lot of people who go to the general meetups are new in town or just don’t have many friends... I know I was the only one in my group of friends that would ever consider going to a meet up but that’s just my personality. I’m strange. Plus, I wanted to make new friends. my friends side eyed me and we’re kind of judgey about me going, I could tell,,, 
I tried to get one of my boyfriends to go with me to one and he didn’t seem too thrilled with the idea. 
I would say “my bf ” line ... even before, when it wasn’t true. Most guys will just PM you after the meet like 0P situation so I turned off my p.m. but organizers can always  message. Also, there are people that follow you from one meet up to the next so I advise making your meet up group list  private

 

Yeah, I've actually gotten comments that "If you have to go to an organized gathering where it's geared towards getting new people to meet each other"....they imply desperation or "loser"...and not just for finding a romantic partner, but just friends in general.

Some feel they can acquire friends the traditional way and not through organized events like Meetup. Some think the word itself is sketchy. 

I have noticed that these types meet halfway, and come as a PLUS 1..but will never actually join the group (become a member) the just sniff around. I asked a few of them, "So when did you join meetup?" She'd say, "I just came with her"...Me: "oh, you plan on joining" Her: "Not really, dont have the time". 

[Millennial]

1 hour ago, QuietRiot said:

Yeah, I've actually gotten comments that "If you have to go to an organized gathering where it's geared towards getting new people to meet each other"....they imply desperation or "loser"...and not just for finding a romantic partner, but just friends in general.

Some feel they can acquire friends the traditional way and not through organized events like Meetup. Some think the word itself is sketchy. 

I have noticed that these types meet halfway, and come as a PLUS 1..but will never actually join the group (become a member) the just sniff around. I asked a few of them, "So when did you join meetup?" She'd say, "I just came with her"...Me: "oh, you plan on joining" Her: "Not really, dont have the time". 

That's quite a lot of negativity. She's even deleted her positive post.

Think you actually complained about people who avoid negativity in a topic. This is despite it being old wisdom to do so. Something about you saw a stranger enjoying themselves in a photograph, went through her social media, and then discussed her negatively online. Would you perhaps say that there's a slight pattern of taking a rather glum view of things?

I know nobody who has ever went to one, so bit surprising that you've found dozens. If they were 'losers', why would you be hanging around with these people or recommending that the topic creator attend a variety of further events?

[FMW]

@Katkats7777 yes, he's hitting on you.

If something like that happens again just say "my boyfriend and I are sticking around home and limiting our socializing during COVID".  That should put an end to it. It's too bad he's using his host position for his personal interests.

[Katkats7777]

10 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

Yeah, I've actually gotten comments that "If you have to go to an organized gathering where it's geared towards getting new people to meet each other"....they imply desperation or "loser"...and not just for finding a romantic partner, but just friends in general.

Some feel they can acquire friends the traditional way and not through organized events like Meetup. Some think the word itself is sketchy. 

I have noticed that these types meet halfway, and come as a PLUS 1..but will never actually join the group (become a member) the just sniff around. I asked a few of them, "So when did you join meetup?" She'd say, "I just came with her"...Me: "oh, you plan on joining" Her: "Not really, dont have the time". 

Well, if meetup apps are for losers and desperation then about 99% of people on loveshack that use dating apps like Tinder to find a date are considered losers then? Because what I read in the dating section are ALL about online dating apps, but I'm not judging. Its just another platform to meet people. 

Edited December 23, 2020 by Katkats7777

[QuietRiot]

9 hours ago, Millennial said:

That's quite a lot of negativity. She's even deleted her positive post.

Think you actually complained about people who avoid negativity in a topic. This is despite it being old wisdom to do so. Something about you saw a stranger enjoying themselves in a photograph, went through her social media, and then discussed her negatively online. Would you perhaps say that there's a slight pattern of taking a rather glum view of things?

I know nobody who has ever went to one, so bit surprising that you've found dozens. If they were 'losers', why would you be hanging around with these people or recommending that the topic creator attend a variety of further events?

I am not calling them losers for attending, when I would try to talk some other people into going, it was more so implied, and one actually outright said that if you  need a group like Meetup to meet new people, and not so do so organically throughout the course of your regular life, that that person could be socially inept or something.  As a regular of the Meetup groups, that was rather offensive.

Hope you didn't think I was in that lot. Plus the word "Meetup" for some reason, sounds like another word for "hook up" to some. A meat market (Meat-Up), that they would joke about with that misspelling. 

Edited December 23, 2020 by QuietRiot

[QuietRiot]

20 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Not saying anything is wrong with it, but I have been to to meet ups of the ilk Quietriot speaks of. They are general meeting people/networking events. It was literally called 20s and 30s something something such. Not even specified for singles, because there were a few couples.

 

 I was hit on by people at the meetup, including organizer, and far from the only lady that was hit on. I’ve heard it’s common . Multiple hook ups happened that night. It was funny because it was so dramatic when I went to my second meet up, same group, because  the organizer was trying to go ghost on of the members after a ONS at the last meet up. What’s not funny is  I actually consoled her in the bathroom as she cried about his “emotional problems“ meet ups can’t be a shtshow and I wouldn’t probably go back, even though I did make some friends, unless it was for a more specific purpose. And it is completely natural, you are right.

On the other hand, I've known people that have dated ,met, and married through Meetup.  There's this one rather attractive woman that has a "no date in her social circles" policy, apparently too much drama. So there's upsides and downsides.

Lately though, tons of people join Meetup, and those that RSVP, a lot wind up being no-shows.  Chances are, they get a gander of the photos on the RSVP list, go "no cute guys/gals" and bail out.

 

[Katkats7777]

13 minutes ago, QuietRiot said:

I am not calling them losers for attending, when I would try to talk some other people into going, it was more so implied, and one actually outright said that if you  need a group like Meetup to meet new people, and not so do so organically throughout the course of your regular life, that that person could be socially inept or something.  As a regular of the Meetup groups, that was rather offensive.

Hope you didn't think I was in that lot. Plus the word "Meetup" for some reason, sounds like another word for "hook up" to some. A meat market (Meat-Up), that they would joke about with that misspelling. 

I get what you're saying, similar to dating apps, why people use dating apps to begin with, if men can't approach women in real life like at a bar and strike up a convo instead of swiping left and right? Or men use dating apps on tinder because they are too shy/scared to even talk to women? 

Edited December 23, 2020 by Katkats7777

[Lotsgoingon]

Definitely a red flag in terms of the guy's awkwardness. 

He goes from zero (barely talking to you--and not having engaged you in person) to asking you out. 

He needs to start small, small steps. Hi ... hello, haven't had a chance to meet you but I'm reaching out to people. Something like that. You are right to feel this approach is strange. Often this kind of approach means he's been thinking about you and fantasizing about approaching you without having really talked to you to see if there was any real connection.

Stay superficial. Don't answer any questions you don't want to answer. He says something weird, you can call him on that.