QuietRiot Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 (edited) I am starting to see why most online dating profile descriptors are brief and not as detailed. Saw this interesting topic pop up on another message board regarding online dating. A woman said since she's taken up at-home cooking, that when she would list this in her profile, she'd always get dude saying, "So when are you going to cook for me?! ;-)" Basically, any hobby or activity listed would have some kind of expectation from the other party when they would find out their interests. Funny, I did have a lady video and play a tune for me on a video when I asked her to as she was a musician. She was co-worker, but not dating prospect. lol One woman , being in IT by profession and also an avid video-gamer says she leaves ALL of that completely off her profile due to the slew of incels, the unemployed, and socially awkward dudes of the same ilk contacting her by the droves. Basically, unemployed dudes who game all day and not even make a living. Basically, unproductive members of society would contact her if she mentioned that in her profile. Another said she is a dietician by trade, and she'll get guys asking tips on diets and stuff. Also, it can happen the other way around. A dude that used to do weight lifting, and women would have this common misconception that they too, would need to be just as passionate about working out as their other partner, which in his case, isn't true. But yeah, this poster was seeing a trend on how people think it's a must for them all to have identical interests in a partner. To me , it kind of helps to share in pop-culture and movie / geek references. But it isn't the end all be all. Edited December 21, 2020 by QuietRiot 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 Yes and no. It may help to weed out people or it could be a connection point. So what if people comment on a hobby? Any replies that are decent can be responded to and any dopey messagers can be deleted and blocked. OLD is all about weeding out nonsense and timewasters. Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 51 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: Basically, unemployed dudes who game all day and not even make a living. Basically, unproductive members of society would contact her if she mentioned that in her profile. Millions of people are unemployed or underemployed in the US currently through Covid 19. I wouldn't call them 'unproductive members of society'. I didn't have one horrible experience with OLD, am starting to think that's because I treated the people who contacted me with respect, no labelling, and no criticising when we're not compatible! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 @QuietRiot some people are just programmed to find the negative in anything and moan about it. Best to ignore them and their petty arguments about dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 What a terrible negative way to look at it. When you list a hobby or activity & the other person comments on it, they are showing genuine interest & trying to connect over a common bond. They are not using you for your skill. The home cook need simply have replied, I'll cook for you once we have gotten to know each other better. What was your favorite food growing up? The dietician could have side-stepped saying that it's her job to plan meals so in her free time she'd like to talk about anything else, then asked the other person how they came to be in their profession. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, QuietRiot said: Saw this interesting topic pop up on another message board regarding online dating. A woman said since she's taken up at-home cooking, that when she would list this in her profile, she'd always get dude saying, "So when are you going to cook for me?! ;-)" Lol, that's hilarious. The wink at the end reflects it was a joke; if me I would have had fun with it and responded with something jokey and playful as well. You can't take this stuff so seriously, have fun with it! Be playful. Flirty. Far too many take OLD too seriously. Feeling slighted when no slight was intended. Go ahead and list hobbies. Have fun with the responses you receive! Notwithstanding all the lascivious sexual messages which shouid immediately be deleted and whomever sent blocked, best to try and chill about it. Lighten up, have fun. Worked for me! Edited December 21, 2020 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 1 hour ago, poppyfields said: Lol, that's hilarious. The wink at the end reflects it was a joke; if me I would have had fun with it and responded with something jokey and playful as well. You can't take this stuff so seriously, have fun with it! Be playful. Flirty. Right? This one was so easy! "Love that you enjoy cooking. There is nothing better than preparing a meal together. You can learn so much about a person by how they dice onions. #kidding #notkidding. You really can!" Link to post Share on other sites
Katkats7777 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 I always thought listing hobbies on a dating site was some conversation starter, instead of just having a hot picture and commenting on how hot they look. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, QuietRiot said: I am starting to see why most online dating profile descriptors are brief and not as detailed. Saw this interesting topic pop up on another message board regarding online dating. A woman said since she's taken up at-home cooking, that when she would list this in her profile, she'd always get dude saying, "So when are you going to cook for me?! ;-)" Basically, any hobby or activity listed would have some kind of expectation from the other party when they would find out their interests. Funny, I did have a lady video and play a tune for me on a video when I asked her to as she was a musician. She was co-worker, but not dating prospect. lol One woman , being in IT by profession and also an avid video-gamer says she leaves ALL of that completely off her profile due to the slew of incels, the unemployed, and socially awkward dudes of the same ilk contacting her by the droves. Basically, unemployed dudes who game all day and not even make a living. Basically, unproductive members of society would contact her if she mentioned that in her profile. Another said she is a dietician by trade, and she'll get guys asking tips on diets and stuff. Also, it can happen the other way around. A dude that used to do weight lifting, and women would have this common misconception that they too, would need to be just as passionate about working out as their other partner, which in his case, isn't true. But yeah, this poster was seeing a trend on how people think it's a must for them all to have identical interests in a partner. To me , it kind of helps to share in pop-culture and movie / geek references. But it isn't the end all be all. If you have an online dating profile, you will get interest from people you aren’t interested in whether you list interests/hobbies or not. Of course there are people you are not interested in who value/share that interest, but if it’s EVERYONE, it’s not listing the hobby/interest that’s the problem, but something else. And of course they will probably message you about it. You’ve said you’re interested in that and you’re virtual stranger, so it seems like a good conversation starter to them. What else do they have to go by. Edited December 21, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 15 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: If you have an online dating profile, you will get interest from people you aren’t interested in whether you list interests/hobbies or not. Of course there are people you are not interested in who value/share that interest, but if it’s EVERYONE, it’s not listing the hobby/interest that’s the problem, but something else. And of course they will probably message you about it. You’ve said you’re interested in that and you’re virtual stranger, so it seems like a good conversation starter to them. What else do they have to go by. I think it's more about them feeling they are going to be exploited for their craft or hobby. Like one guy asked a woman on a date what kind of excercise she liked doing. She said she likes to pole dance. He "flirted" and said, "Really? Maybe I could get a lap dance from ya some time, ;-)" She immediately left the restaurant. Of course, if I were a woman that pole danced, I think I would have not said that specific of an exercise as that activity is noted to be sexual in nature...so she kind of walked into that one, maybe? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 Yeah, she definitely walked herself into that one. If your hobby is pole dancing, naked yoga, or nude body painting, I don’t know what else you would expect 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 It's best to be yourself on dating apps both with accurate recent pics and an accurate brief summary of things including hobbies,interests, etc. Pole dancing? Who's foolish enough to contact an obvious escort service? Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 On 12/22/2020 at 6:12 AM, QuietRiot said: I think it's more about them feeling they are going to be exploited for their craft or hobby. Like one guy asked a woman on a date what kind of excercise she liked doing. She said she likes to pole dance. He "flirted" and said, "Really? Maybe I could get a lap dance from ya some time, ;-)" She immediately left the restaurant. Of course, if I were a woman that pole danced, I think I would have not said that specific of an exercise as that activity is noted to be sexual in nature...so she kind of walked into that one, maybe? She was probably mad bc her hard work was reduced to lap dancing. Pole is not inherently sexual. Even women who dance the exotic genre arent necessarily strippers, and strippers dont necessarily wont to give free lap dances anyway. I told a guy I pole danced, and I had to essentially educate him on the sport. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 1 hour ago, hotpotato said: She was probably mad bc her hard work was reduced to lap dancing. Pole is not inherently sexual. Even women who dance the exotic genre arent necessarily strippers, and strippers dont necessarily wont to give free lap dances anyway. I told a guy I pole danced, and I had to essentially educate him on the sport. Well, it's not rocket science on what pole dancing is associated with. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 54 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: Well, it's not rocket science on what pole dancing is associated with. No, but pole dancing morphed into a fitness fad and now there are pole dancing classes in gyms and dancing schools and sports centres etc. for (mostly) women who want a different way to get fit. It is now classed as a performance sport and there are moves to get it included into the Olympics. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 1 hour ago, QuietRiot said: Well, it's not rocket science on what pole dancing is associated with. What is that? It's now a sport with official organizations, competitions, and rules. There are multiple genres, some are exotic (Russian exotic, shadowbanned), some are not (entertainment, dramatic, contemporary). There are women with phds who do pole, SAHMs who do pole, former gymnasts and ballerinas who do pole. I guess the moral of this thread is be careful if you have a hobby that other people don't know much about and interpret as sexual. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 6 minutes ago, elaine567 said: No, but pole dancing morphed into a fitness fad and now there are pole dancing classes in gyms and dancing schools and sports centres etc. for (mostly) women who want a different way to get fit. It is now classed as a performance sport and there are moves to get it included into the Olympics. Oh, I did not know that. I had seen some women in my feed do this (cosplay women), but they were scantily clad and I guess they were doing it to get clicks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 Just now, hotpotato said: I guess the moral of this thread is be careful if you have a hobby that other people don't know much about and interpret as sexual. Yeah, I guess so..but...should the woman have given him some slack on that (educate him) instead of just walking off? Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 ...honestly, it could have been her baiting him, to see if he would make a sexual remark? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 17 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: Oh, I did not know that. I had seen some women in my feed do this (cosplay women), but they were scantily clad and I guess they were doing it to get clicks. But all athletes/sports people are scantily clad. It comes with the territory. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 29 minutes ago, elaine567 said: But all athletes/sports people are scantily clad. It comes with the territory. Yea, but pole dancing is more associated with an activity that's sexual, one can't help but to put this in that wheel house. Other sports, gymnastics, weightlifting, etc. Not so much. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 2 hours ago, QuietRiot said: Yeah, I guess so..but...should the woman have given him some slack on that (educate him) instead of just walking off? I could understand her being frustrated esp if she has been in the situation before. 2 hours ago, QuietRiot said: ...honestly, it could have been her baiting him, to see if he would make a sexual remark? Maybe, but no one really knows except for her. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 On 12/22/2020 at 4:12 AM, QuietRiot said: She said she likes to pole dance. He "flirted" and said, "Really? Maybe I could get a lap dance from ya some time, ;-)" She immediately left the restaurant. Way to blow it. If he had played his cards a little differently, perhaps he'd be getting one right now. Ah, well... Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted December 29, 2020 Share Posted December 29, 2020 On 12/22/2020 at 12:12 PM, QuietRiot said: He "flirted" and said, "Really? Maybe I could get a lap dance from ya some time, ;-)" She immediately left the restaurant. hmmn-Id probably have said the same, could I have persuaded her to stay though Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 29, 2020 Share Posted December 29, 2020 On 12/28/2020 at 9:39 AM, hotpotato said: She said she likes to pole dance. He "flirted" and said, "Really? Maybe I could get a lap dance from ya some time, ;-)" She immediately left the restaurant. On 12/28/2020 at 12:16 PM, QuietRiot said: Yeah, I guess so..but...should the woman have given him some slack on that (educate him) instead of just walking off? That's not flirting. That is just crass and crude. He just insulted her by assuming she was some sort of sex worker, why on earth would she want to "educate" him...? She did the right thing by walking off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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