How listing hobbies/activities can not be a good thing online dating

[elaine567]

2 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

You put the recreational pilot against the stamp collector and I assure you the stamp collector will be second best on every single instance.

Not every single instance. 
It depends on the woman.
Hanging about airstrips and being inundated with pilot speak may not be seen as much fun...
The reality of these "passionate" hobbies is usually boredom and ultimately resentment in the less interested SO.

[ZA Dater]

42 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Not every single instance. 
It depends on the woman.
Hanging about airstrips and being inundated with pilot speak may not be seen as much fun...
The reality of these "passionate" hobbies is usually boredom and ultimately resentment in the less interested SO.

Let be generous and say 8 out of 10 instances.

[SumGuy]

6 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

... they have no hobbies other than to sit and stare at the wall at home. lol

I think that is called meditation   not a bad hobby

[jspice]

On 1/12/2021 at 7:00 AM, ZA Dater said:

Unfortunately I believe many women will find a man very attractive if he has a prestige hobby whereby they can bask in the limelight. You put the recreational pilot against the stamp collector and I assure you the stamp collector will be second best on every single instance.

I am talking about the 20-34 age range here though...just to clarify.

That doesn’t seem to be true for you though, as you always lament the fact that your car hobby doesn’t even get you girls. 🤨

[SumGuy]

On 1/12/2021 at 10:09 AM, ZA Dater said:

Let be generous and say 8 out of 10 instances.

I'd say so what, with respect to recreational pilot vs. stamp collector.   As it only matters if those 2 out of 10 that it does attract are the women you are interested in.  I intentionally put down stuff in my profile that I know may well turn off a lot of women (geek stuff :) ) but I don't care if 8 out of 10 women find it a turn off, as I want to attract women who would not look down or be turned off by my geek side and would choose it over recreational pilot. 

Did it make finding someone harder?  Really don't think so and those did meet the chance of feeling a connection so much higher than when I "hid" my geek side.

Do you initially "hide" it to attract people and then once they know you it will be "OK"?  Sure have had that happen, so many time heard "wow, you don't seem like a geek guy" etc.   I guess because also I don't look the stereotype.   To me that is just a survey of their prejudice, flattering I guess, but really more of the same that certain traits are the antithesis of geek when they may actually often arise with it. 

If you want someone to be into you, then why not put out your hobbies?  The people it will turn off (for whatever reason or presumption) are unlikely to connect with you anyway.  Again assuming you are not just after sex...then that is a whole other ball game.

[ZA Dater]

3 hours ago, jspice said:

That doesn’t seem to be true for you though, as you always lament the fact that your car hobby doesn’t even get you girls. 🤨

No its not true for me but my point is OLD is fundamentally superficial so sure, you can list hobbies BUT the pictures are going to be more persuasive than the hobbies so going into great detail about hobbies is pretty irrelevant in terms of bios. 

If you expand on this, try as an ice breaker commenting on someone's bio, almost always this never ever works.  I list in my profile "busy writing a novel" and that does work to some extent because I get asked about it but the hobby alone is not enough to carry a conversation.

[ZA Dater]

1 hour ago, SumGuy said:

I'd say so what, with respect to recreational pilot vs. stamp collector.   As it only matters if those 2 out of 10 that it does attract are the women you are interested in.  I intentionally put down stuff in my profile that I know may well turn off a lot of women (geek stuff  ) but I don't care if 8 out of 10 women find it a turn off, as I want to attract women who would not look down or be turned off by my geek side and would choose it over recreational pilot. 

Did it make finding someone harder?  Really don't think so and those did meet the chance of feeling a connection so much higher than when I "hid" my geek side.

Do you initially "hide" it to attract people and then once they know you it will be "OK"?  Sure have had that happen, so many time heard "wow, you don't seem like a geek guy" etc.   I guess because also I don't look the stereotype.   To me that is just a survey of their prejudice, flattering I guess, but really more of the same that certain traits are the antithesis of geek when they may actually often arise with it. 

If you want someone to be into you, then why not put out your hobbies?  The people it will turn off (for whatever reason or presumption) are unlikely to connect with you anyway.  Again assuming you are not just after sex...then that is a whole other ball game.

Sure, its a numbers game but my view the pilot is going to find the numbers a lot more favourable than the stamp collector. I believe on a 2 our o 10 odds it may take a very long time to find someone remotely attractive. Do you think people connect over hobbies, I personally do not, especially in the OLD context, perhaps in a social setting yes but not in terms of OLD. 

Again I suppose it depends on what sort of connection you want. Hobbies alone are not going to make you attractive on OLD, case in point one picture I used was me driving a super car, totally ineffective because I am just ugly so while the hobby looks alright the rest is unattractive. I think to win you need to balance you physical appearance to the hobbies you list in your profile. 

Does stating you volunteer at an animal shelter make your any more attractive, superficially no. I believe as stated people want the best looking people with the best most glamorous hobbies, this is just a reflection of how the world seems to work most of the time.

[Foxhall]

4 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

I list in my profile "busy writing a novel" and that does work to some extent because I get asked about it but the hobby alone is not enough to carry a conversation.

Id be thinking bonding over shared interests is a good starting point,

your comment above just caught my attention as I have been composing something of a short story based on a character of a teenage guy who is struggling for friendships and to fit in,

it surprised me  when I  casually mentioned to a few women friends I have and they have all been interested in reading and wondering what or who the characters are based on etc,

so creating something unique in a profile such as "writing a novel" that could be something which makes you interesting and that you can get mileage out of.

 

 

[chillii]

 

It is true though l remember feeling way back when during my brief date site stint , there was a real vibe about it. Like , anything you say could and would be used against you , and picked to bits.

Dunno if that was just in my head but gees it had that feel about it.

[ZA Dater]

7 hours ago, Foxhall said:

Id be thinking bonding over shared interests is a good starting point,

your comment above just caught my attention as I have been composing something of a short story based on a character of a teenage guy who is struggling for friendships and to fit in,

it surprised me  when I  casually mentioned to a few women friends I have and they have all been interested in reading and wondering what or who the characters are based on etc,

so creating something unique in a profile such as "writing a novel" that could be something which makes you interesting and that you can get mileage out of.

 

 

Something like writing a book does generate some interest and is sometimes an ice breaker but my point is it does not hold the conversation together, quite often the people are not physically attractive and to add to that the conversation goes nowhere either. Again sometimes slotting a hobby into a brief description could help but blanket listing hobbies might not work unless one specific hobby has some sort of universal interest.

[5x5]

On 1/13/2021 at 1:26 AM, elaine567 said:

Not every single instance. 
It depends on the woman.
Hanging about airstrips and being inundated with pilot speak may not be seen as much fun...
The reality of these "passionate" hobbies is usually boredom and ultimately resentment in the less interested SO.

Yep, I've known a few women who have absolutely loathed suffering exactly that.

[5x5]

On 1/13/2021 at 2:09 AM, ZA Dater said:

Let be generous and say 8 out of 10 instances.

Excepting last year where I have had a break from it, I have spent many years working in and participating as is my interest in the world of aviation, especially deeply in the warbird owning and operating community, which has made me close to many military and airline pilots as well. Of which I can assure you the majority of women (not all of course) who are married to, or girlfriends of people in that world. Have little or zero interest in any of it, through to notable disdain of that stuff as well.

It really is a limited few who are especially impressed by it and or have a personal interest in it themselves. That doesn't mean the others still don't get dragged to the flight lines to often hang out in the kitchens or dining rooms and go to the dinners and pubs afterwards. Yet to quote one woman who is married to an extremely renowned recently retired military aviator. When I asked her why she was hiding in the kitchen knitting, she told me she hates aeroplane stuff. Now she loves her husband and has been with him for many years, yet she certainly didn't marry him because he was an accomplished jet fighter pilot.

[SumGuy]

On 1/13/2021 at 1:20 PM, ZA Dater said:

Sure, its a numbers game but my view the pilot is going to find the numbers a lot more favourable than the stamp collector. I believe on a 2 our o 10 odds it may take a very long time to find someone remotely attractive. Do you think people connect over hobbies, I personally do not, especially in the OLD context, perhaps in a social setting yes but not in terms of OLD. 

I would agree it will take more time if looking for that 2 out of 10, but you'd be spending it anyway, and more money, if you were attracting and going on dates with those 8 in 10 who would not connect with the true you.    It may not even be that hard, I found when I "narrowed" my possibilities against almost all internet dating advice I did not attract fewer attractive women and the level of connection felt (both ways) on first dates went way, way up.

It is not so much the actual hobby/activity unless she engages in it to or has thought of it, but the connotations people place on it.  So perhaps in my case it was potentially acting as more of a filter to weed out those women who I would not connect with as they would have prejudicial notions of what having certain hobbies entailed.

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Again I suppose it depends on what sort of connection you want. Hobbies alone are not going to make you attractive on OLD, case in point one picture I used was me driving a super car, totally ineffective because I am just ugly so while the hobby looks alright the rest is unattractive. I think to win you need to balance you physical appearance to the hobbies you list in your profile. 

May have answered that above about if it is more an attraction of filter.  However, have found my interest in music and reading to be considered an attractive hobby/interest by women I've dated...even for those who do not necessarily share the same taste in genres.   I can say for a fact that I like to dance is a big plus, so many men it seems don't like to dance...oh the loss for them.

On your car hobby, I really can't say.  Although I love cars, and even more so motorcycles, never felt it enough to invest money into it (now if I won the lottery sure).  Though I still got dirt bike riding from time to time.  Also, I avoided like the plague mentioning expensive things (a super car would be right up there) as found it attracted women didn't really want, and not because they were ugly or uninterested in fun.

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Does stating you volunteer at an animal shelter make your any more attractive, superficially no.

Volunteering can be a strong signal of one's character.  So although it may technically be a hobby, it is usually viewed very differently.

Quote

I believe as stated people want the best looking people with the best most glamorous hobbies, this is just a reflection of how the world seems to work most of the time.

Some do, and certainly it seems the crowd you move and are connected to do.  In my direct experience that is not the world, there is even a portion that is actively against that way of being.   Now as to "best looking people," in this world I allude to looks are only part of the package, and even in the "looks" department there are certain people who have the something-something physically beyond their looks in a mere photo. 

Yes, I'd agree in my experience people want someone they find physically attractive...but that varies so much, the type they like that is, that few are truly no-ones type especially when it is women looking for men.  If your profile photo is you, you are far from ugly.  

As to "glamorous" hobbies...there are plenty who find them a turn-off...but alas women who find them attractive maybe the ones you want.

[Fletch Lives]

Sharing hobbies, interests and common interests has nothing to do with compatibility. If two people have reasonable social skills and like each other, they can always find things to do together.

[ZA Dater]

9 hours ago, SumGuy said:

I would agree it will take more time if looking for that 2 out of 10, but you'd be spending it anyway, and more money, if you were attracting and going on dates with those 8 in 10 who would not connect with the true you.    It may not even be that hard, I found when I "narrowed" my possibilities against almost all internet dating advice I did not attract fewer attractive women and the level of connection felt (both ways) on first dates went way, way up.

It is not so much the actual hobby/activity unless she engages in it to or has thought of it, but the connotations people place on it.  So perhaps in my case it was potentially acting as more of a filter to weed out those women who I would not connect with as they would have prejudicial notions of what having certain hobbies entailed.

May have answered that above about if it is more an attraction of filter.  However, have found my interest in music and reading to be considered an attractive hobby/interest by women I've dated...even for those who do not necessarily share the same taste in genres.   I can say for a fact that I like to dance is a big plus, so many men it seems don't like to dance...oh the loss for them.

On your car hobby, I really can't say.  Although I love cars, and even more so motorcycles, never felt it enough to invest money into it (now if I won the lottery sure).  Though I still got dirt bike riding from time to time.  Also, I avoided like the plague mentioning expensive things (a super car would be right up there) as found it attracted women didn't really want, and not because they were ugly or uninterested in fun.

Volunteering can be a strong signal of one's character.  So although it may technically be a hobby, it is usually viewed very differently.

Some do, and certainly it seems the crowd you move and are connected to do.  In my direct experience that is not the world, there is even a portion that is actively against that way of being.   Now as to "best looking people," in this world I allude to looks are only part of the package, and even in the "looks" department there are certain people who have the something-something physically beyond their looks in a mere photo. 

Yes, I'd agree in my experience people want someone they find physically attractive...but that varies so much, the type they like that is, that few are truly no-ones type especially when it is women looking for men.  If your profile photo is you, you are far from ugly.  

As to "glamorous" hobbies...there are plenty who find them a turn-off...but alas women who find them attractive maybe the ones you want.

I think they can be used as a filter, I once went on a date with someone who was teaching herself to bake cakes by watching online videos, I found that interesting and unique and she could talk about it with passion. That is the other thing, people need to be passionate about their hobbies, else it looks like they simply list them in the hope someone else likes those hobbies. Connection for me is a foreign concept so I cant comment re hobbies and connection.

You are probably right to use them as a filter but do you think you may inadvertently miss out on someone because you used hobbies as too much of a filter. I used to believe common interests would work from a dating point of view but this forum has proven that to be wrong, I still believe they are the only way for some people to connect with others.

I am severely jaded and for the most part its because I always seem to loose out against anything glamorous but when you look at hobbies, you need to factor in the overall person, its pointless having the best hobbies and then being a deceitful person. 

Yeah its me in the photo, if OLD is to be believed me type is totally overweight. 

Hobbies I think show that someone is interested in something which is a good thing. Hobbies also can add context but also be used as boastful, something I avoid so I do not talk about my car hobby much because people cannot relate. Again a hobby is no assurance of connection.

[QuietRiot]

10 hours ago, SumGuy said:

I would agree it will take more time if looking for that 2 out of 10, but you'd be spending it anyway, and more money, if you were attracting and going on dates with those 8 in 10 who would not connect with the true you.    It may not even be that hard, I found when I "narrowed" my possibilities against almost all internet dating advice I did not attract fewer attractive women and the level of connection felt (both ways) on first dates went way, way up.

It is not so much the actual hobby/activity unless she engages in it to or has thought of it, but the connotations people place on it.  So perhaps in my case it was potentially acting as more of a filter to weed out those women who I would not connect with as they would have prejudicial notions of what having certain hobbies entailed.

May have answered that above about if it is more an attraction of filter.  However, have found my interest in music and reading to be considered an attractive hobby/interest by women I've dated...even for those who do not necessarily share the same taste in genres.   I can say for a fact that I like to dance is a big plus, so many men it seems don't like to dance...oh the loss for them.

On your car hobby, I really can't say.  Although I love cars, and even more so motorcycles, never felt it enough to invest money into it (now if I won the lottery sure).  Though I still got dirt bike riding from time to time.  Also, I avoided like the plague mentioning expensive things (a super car would be right up there) as found it attracted women didn't really want, and not because they were ugly or uninterested in fun.

Volunteering can be a strong signal of one's character.  So although it may technically be a hobby, it is usually viewed very differently.

Some do, and certainly it seems the crowd you move and are connected to do.  In my direct experience that is not the world, there is even a portion that is actively against that way of being.   Now as to "best looking people," in this world I allude to looks are only part of the package, and even in the "looks" department there are certain people who have the something-something physically beyond their looks in a mere photo. 

Yes, I'd agree in my experience people want someone they find physically attractive...but that varies so much, the type they like that is, that few are truly no-ones type especially when it is women looking for men.  If your profile photo is you, you are far from ugly.  

As to "glamorous" hobbies...there are plenty who find them a turn-off...but alas women who find them attractive maybe the ones you want.

There have been some women I dated that were "chameleons" of sorts, andt this happens a lot. (with both men and women) that they'll take on the hobby of their new partner, sometimes with enthusiasm, if they've never done it.

I had a woman I dated that never touched video games, she was attracted me more so based on my character really. When she found out I was passionate about a partciular video game I've been playing for years...even she took an interest in it and joined me.

Same can be said about a lot of hobbies,where the partner would be willing to join them just for the sake of shared experiences, and, quite frankly....they are so INTO the person, they'd be willing to do so.

[SumGuy]

6 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

There have been some women I dated that were "chameleons" of sorts, andt this happens a lot. (with both men and women) that they'll take on the hobby of their new partner, sometimes with enthusiasm, if they've never done it.

I had a woman I dated that never touched video games, she was attracted me more so based on my character really. When she found out I was passionate about a partciular video game I've been playing for years...even she took an interest in it and joined me.

Same can be said about a lot of hobbies,where the partner would be willing to join them just for the sake of shared experiences, and, quite frankly....they are so INTO the person, they'd be willing to do so.

Agreed.  I've had women I've dated do that and they come to really enjoy it, and vice versa.

[SumGuy]

6 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

...

You are probably right to use them as a filter but do you think you may inadvertently miss out on someone because you used hobbies as too much of a filter. I used to believe common interests would work from a dating point of view but this forum has proven that to be wrong, I still believe they are the only way for some people to connect with others.  ...

I'm certain I miss out, that is some women nexted me based on my hobbies, or taste in books, or music, etc.    However, such women are not the ones I want.   Been there, in my experience they are headaches even if physically attractive and fun otherwise.  Found I can find just as physically attractive (actually more so) when list my hobbies, etc.

I would say common interests, or more precisely a shared world view, shared interest in living life, is important for connection.   I would not list hobbies at the top of interests, especially if they are more a form of entertainment.

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Yeah its me in the photo, if OLD is to be believed me type is totally overweight. 

I got plenty of women who reached out to me who were overweight, heck I live in the US so it is statistically a certainty.    I'm overweight myself by 10lb/4kg or so.  I've a feeling though I have a tolerance for a few more pounds or more curvy shape than you as a few examples of your preferred type you've posted fall into my on the edged of too skinny category  .  I will say almost everyone I know that did/does OLD (male and female) at least half if not more of the people who reach out to them are not what they are after.  I don't think it is surprising or an indication of anything about them.  The really "good" ones looking for a relationship find someone quickly even if after a time it doesn't work out and they are back on.

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Hobbies I think show that someone is interested in something which is a good thing. Hobbies also can add context but also be used as boastful, something I avoid so I do not talk about my car hobby much because people cannot relate. Again a hobby is no assurance of connection.

Hobbies are certainly no assurance of connection.  I've known people who share my hobbies that I would never want to hang out with, not even around the hobby.  As you rightly point out it is the passion around it that is important, a shared passion can help make connection but there are other things more important to most that hobbies.  I'd say with respect to "glamorous" hobbies it is more that they signal wealth and status that is the attraction.  Wealth and status certainly attract some women, although for what I want I purposely try to avoid those women.

On your car hobby, maybe it's because I am in the US where the cult of the car is strong, but a lot of people I know (men and women) can relate to a car hobby.  The secret is to not talk about your hobby in a way where it comes first and her second, rather emphasize the parts that she can enjoy, like perhaps a convertible ride on a perfect day, the fun, the social aspect, not the hours spent pulling the carb.      I believe photos of you engaged in something where she can say, oooh I'd like to be there doing that...is key.

Although one could mention how you figure you save a lot in doing the car repair work yourself instead of having to go to a mechanic.  All the women I've dated in my life (across the spectrum), have always found being handy attractive even if it alone is not enough.  

[ZA Dater]

46 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Hobbies are certainly no assurance of connection.  I've known people who share my hobbies that I would never want to hang out with, not even around the hobby.  As you rightly point out it is the passion around it that is important, a shared passion can help make connection but there are other things more important to most that hobbies.  I'd say with respect to "glamorous" hobbies it is more that they signal wealth and status that is the attraction.  Wealth and status certainly attract some women, although for what I want I purposely try to avoid those women.

On your car hobby, maybe it's because I am in the US where the cult of the car is strong, but a lot of people I know (men and women) can relate to a car hobby.  The secret is to not talk about your hobby in a way where it comes first and her second, rather emphasize the parts that she can enjoy, like perhaps a convertible ride on a perfect day, the fun, the social aspect, not the hours spent pulling the carb.      I believe photos of you engaged in something where she can say, oooh I'd like to be there doing that...is key.

Although one could mention how you figure you save a lot in doing the car repair work yourself instead of having to go to a mechanic.  All the women I've dated in my life (across the spectrum), have always found being handy attractive even if it alone is not enough.  

I agreed, its important with hobbies to try emphasise conversationally what they can enjoy for example road trips, lunches at wine farms etc. but again I cannot but help feel status for many supersedes the hobby itself. Again its my perspective based on past experience. I think in a perfect world the best place besides via friends is a meeting someone through a hobby but the world is not so perfect. 

Again I agree relating to the hobby is important and really when you think about this it all comes down to actually marketing oneself in the correct pool so to speak and being a an overall attractive enough person to be able to attract the people you find attractive, call it balancing the scales. I'll say this though hobbies are good for ones own health no matter what they are, I instantly felt better after a spin in a Porsche GT2 RS, better than I feel after 99% of dates actually. Which is telling but it also shows hobbies can make up for a lot some of the time.

[Miss Spider]

I’d prefer stamp collector, personally. I like weird, tho . The other hobby is too simp 

Edited January 16, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[QuietRiot]

17 hours ago, SumGuy said:

I'm certain I miss out, that is some women nexted me based on my hobbies, or taste in books, or music, etc.    However, such women are not the ones I want.   Been there, in my experience they are headaches even if physically attractive and fun otherwise.  Found I can find just as physically attractive (actually more so) when list my hobbies, etc.

I would say common interests, or more precisely a shared world view, shared interest in living life, is important for connection.   I would not list hobbies at the top of interests, especially if they are more a form of entertainment.

I got plenty of women who reached out to me who were overweight, heck I live in the US so it is statistically a certainty.    I'm overweight myself by 10lb/4kg or so.  I've a feeling though I have a tolerance for a few more pounds or more curvy shape than you as a few examples of your preferred type you've posted fall into my on the edged of too skinny category  .  I will say almost everyone I know that did/does OLD (male and female) at least half if not more of the people who reach out to them are not what they are after.  I don't think it is surprising or an indication of anything about them.  The really "good" ones looking for a relationship find someone quickly even if after a time it doesn't work out and they are back on.

Hobbies are certainly no assurance of connection.  I've known people who share my hobbies that I would never want to hang out with, not even around the hobby.  As you rightly point out it is the passion around it that is important, a shared passion can help make connection but there are other things more important to most that hobbies.  I'd say with respect to "glamorous" hobbies it is more that they signal wealth and status that is the attraction.  Wealth and status certainly attract some women, although for what I want I purposely try to avoid those women.

On your car hobby, maybe it's because I am in the US where the cult of the car is strong, but a lot of people I know (men and women) can relate to a car hobby.  The secret is to not talk about your hobby in a way where it comes first and her second, rather emphasize the parts that she can enjoy, like perhaps a convertible ride on a perfect day, the fun, the social aspect, not the hours spent pulling the carb.      I believe photos of you engaged in something where she can say, oooh I'd like to be there doing that...is key.

Although one could mention how you figure you save a lot in doing the car repair work yourself instead of having to go to a mechanic.  All the women I've dated in my life (across the spectrum), have always found being handy attractive even if it alone is not enough.  

I think shared hobbies/activities work if you join say...a trail biking group...and people get together in that group. Or any kind of shared activity group thatinvolves a specific hobby...that could work because you're around each other frequently. 

[Wiseman2]

It's great but not important to share a hobby. As long as it's something not so weird that it puts you off, it doesn't really matter.

[QuietRiot]

Saw this on Match, woman in her mid-50s

Apparently, hardcore trail cycling is a MUST for her partner to be just as passionate. She doesn't consider JUST a hobby, but...a way of life!

 Talk about severely limiting herself, esp. for a single at that age.

[d0nnivain]

@QuietRiot

How is the cyclist limiting herself?  She has an active. fulfilling life & wants somebody to share her passion.  If she tries to date somebody who doesn't cycle, she will resent him if he expects her to give up cycling time to dates & he will be jealous of all the time she spends on her bike.  She already knows that without that shared connection she's going to have problems.  It's not limiting.  It's being insightful & self aware. Yes, that means that fewer people may be in her pool but it also assures that she's not wasting time on something / someone that won't work. 

[SumGuy]

On 1/16/2021 at 9:09 AM, d0nnivain said:

@QuietRiot

How is the cyclist limiting herself?  She has an active. fulfilling life & wants somebody to share her passion.  If she tries to date somebody who doesn't cycle, she will resent him if he expects her to give up cycling time to dates & he will be jealous of all the time she spends on her bike.  She already knows that without that shared connection she's going to have problems.  It's not limiting.  It's being insightful & self aware. Yes, that means that fewer people may be in her pool but it also assures that she's not wasting time on something / someone that won't work. 

Agreed, and depending on where she lives may not be limiting at all.  Know at least two single guys in her age range who would love to meet her.  They are avid mountain bikers and always complain how most women are have no interest or cannot come close to keeping up.   I too see this women as self aware and confident, and not hungry for just anyone.  I also suspect she is in great shape, and really doubt she is hurting for OLD attention, likely she needs to really filter to get messages down to a reasonable number...and prevent the 70 year old men who somehow think they have a chance just because she is mid-50s.