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Finally willing to start a LDR but she has a boyfriend now

steelgator

By steelgator,
in Long-Distance Relationships

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steelgator

steelgator

Posted
Posted

To make a long story short,

Met this girl on Tinder say 4 years ago. Have seen eachother a couple times a year since. Went on a couple dates. Mostly hungout and hooked up. We text and snap every so often. She has been clear in the past she's interested in pursuing a relationship with me. However I have been in 2 long distance relationships in the past and they have not worked out and really want someone who I can come home to. She has had a couple boyfriends since and now is in another one with a guy in the Navy I believe who is long distance. I am beginning to think that if I don't make an attempt at a LDR then she is going to eventually be locked down forever.

The first problem is her having a current boyfriend. The second is I am a travel nurse. Meaning every 3-4 months I am somewhere new in the country at a different hospital. I love this because I love traveling and an added benefit is that I make a lot of money, nearly double what I would make if I wasn't traveling. She is working 2 nursing jobs in Florida, my home state where my family is, and has a house. Her argument in the past has been that if she means enough to me I would try and make it work. I am a 30 year old male and have been single for the past 6 years. I am usually happy being single and doing whatever I want but the loneliness is slowly getting to me.

I have 4 options at this point

1. Wait until possibly she breaks up with her current BF and then try and make a LDR work

2. Wait until she breaks up with current BF and move back to Florida and get a nursing job that pays 50% of what I make now

3.Tell her now that I am willing to make a LDR work and see if she would break up with her current BF in order to pursue something with me. 

4. Don't do anything and keep traveling the country as a nurse and wait to find something else

I am afraid that option 3 is too scary for me as it would push her away from me, she would get upset that I would do this now and not while she was single and all hope for something in future would be lost. 

 

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Lance Mannion

Lance Mannion

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Why not see if she wants to be a travel nurse with you and you look for job assignments in the same place - you come as a team.

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Emilie Jolie

Emilie Jolie

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, steelgator said:

The first problem is her having a current boyfriend

I've not read further than that, sorry to be a kill-joy.

I get that things happen with people in relationships but at this moment in time, your hands are tied. The only way for her to show you she wants to be in a relationship with you is to become single. Then you can reconsider your options - the way things are at present, you have none.

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steelgator

steelgator

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2 hours ago, Lance Mannion said:

Why not see if she wants to be a travel nurse with you and you look for job assignments in the same place - you come as a team.

I've asked her and she considered it but doesn't want to leave her family + friends and already bought a huge house right after she graduated before she even started her first job.

 

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Mrin

Mrin

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Posted (edited)

I'm going to use one of my favorite quotes: "son, you done danced past the f***ing hour"

Edited by Mrin
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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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Posted (edited)

You slept on it too long. She has a boyfriend now. Move on. 

Edited by Shortskirtslonglashes
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  • 2 weeks later...
ShyViolet

ShyViolet

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She's not available.  You are wasting your time hanging on to this pipe dream.  

You're going to have a hard time forming a relationship with this constant traveling lifestyle that you have.  Why don't you work on a plan to change jobs and settle in one place?  I'm sure traveling is fun but doesn't it get old after a while, never being able to have a stable relationship?

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chillii

chillii

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Pretty simple mr steelgator man your name certainly doesn't suit your actions , you just pissed her around too long and missed the boat.

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steelgator

steelgator

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On 1/2/2021 at 4:12 AM, chillii said:

Pretty simple mr steelgator man your name certainly doesn't suit your actions , you just pissed her around too long and missed the boat.

She just broke up with her bf a couple days ago. Waiting to make my move. Don’t wanna do it so soon

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, steelgator said:

She just broke up with her bf a couple days ago. Waiting to make my move. Don’t wanna do it so soon

Give yourself a few days.  You might realize now that she's become available and the opportunity for a relationship has become real, you might not want it (or her) so much anymore.

Edited by poppyfields
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  • 4 weeks later...
HadMeOverABarrel

HadMeOverABarrel

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 1/7/2021 at 6:47 AM, steelgator said:

Waiting to make my move. Don’t wanna do it so soon

Dude, have you not learned your lesson?

(Also UF? Go Gators!)

Edited by HadMeOverABarrel
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StrongHands

StrongHands

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Posted
1 minute ago, HadMeOverABarrel said:

Dude, have you not learned your lesson?

(Also UF? Go Gators!)

Evidently, he has NOT learned......

Seriously, The Swamp, Ben Hill Griffin Stadium??? surely not (been there done that)

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