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Having a semi-affair for 5 years. I'm fed up


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mark clemson
12 hours ago, Saartje said:

I know I might be to naïve, but its not that we've had a fullblown affair for 5 years. after out first meeting, it took a whole year before we met again. 

and, what I've also noticed is that hes giving me these sweet little nicknames like 'sweetheart' 'love' etc. where before, it would be 'hotty' or 'sexy'. our conversaties are more personal, and not just about sex. and this is all his initiative, cause I keep myself a bit aloof to not get to involved.

It is an affair, it's just one with only occasional physical contact.

Apart from all the other issues mentioned, consider whether this is interfering with your ability to FULLY embrace a full and complete new relationship with someone who's actually available. You mention a BF, but I think it's worth asking yourself whether your on/off thing is stopping you from fully connecting with new partners.

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33 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

Apart from all the other issues mentioned, consider whether this is interfering with your ability to FULLY embrace a full and complete new relationship with someone who's actually available. You mention a BF, but I think it's worth asking yourself whether your on/off thing is stopping you from fully connecting with new partners.

A very good point Mark. 

Not to mention, how is a boyfriend going to feel about the fact that you are occasionally meeting another man for sex?
Most men will object to their girlfriend/wife having sex with other men. 

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