QuietRiot Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 I know a woman that's been living with her parents for years due to her being disabled. She's over 40. But not in a wheel chair bound, partially incapacitated kind of way....but when you meet her, you don't see the disability as she has narcolepsy, but not the severe kind like you see in comedies. She just can't work a full 8 hrs without needing nap. She can get out of the house and socialize with friends, and run errands and such though. If you were to see her, you wouldn't think she fall under that category. She had been doing online dating and we actually got into a discussion about how this could be a deal breaker for some people. But she's had no issue of suitors and now is in a long term relationship and has even moved out of her parents house into her boyfriend's place. So that's fortunate. She even said when she's been dating, she'd been concerned that she wouldn't be desirable due to her situation, but it hasn't obviously, but...if you flip the script...have a guy living with his parents, for the same reasons, would this not make him undesirable by a woman? Though this may sound sexist, but am I correct in thinking this? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: she's had no issue of suitors and now is in a long term relationship and has even moved out of her parents house into her boyfriend's place. Well, she obviously has appropriate treatment for her condition and she is now living with her BF. An adult middle aged man living at home for no apparent reason is an entirely different situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 24, 2020 Author Share Posted December 24, 2020 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Well, she obviously has appropriate treatment for her condition and she is now living with her BF. An adult middle aged man living at home for no apparent reason is an entirely different situation. There is no treatment for her condition. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 1 minute ago, QuietRiot said: There is no treatment for her condition. When did the FDA take all the medications off the market that are used and approved for treatment of narcolepsy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 24, 2020 Author Share Posted December 24, 2020 (edited) 22 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: When did the FDA take all the medications off the market that are used and approved for treatment of narcolepsy? Well, she's still on disability...so...*shrug*. It's the less severe form of narcolepsy, so she's taking no medication.for what she has. It's not the "fall a sleep in the middle of a conversation" kind of thing. She takes naps regularly as her form of treatment pretty much. Also, avoid alcohol, too, as that's a depressant. If there are meds, she's not taking them. Edited December 24, 2020 by QuietRiot Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 (edited) Ok so how is her situation even remotely comparable to a middle aged man living at home for no apparent reason? What exactly is the point you are making? Her condition/treatment or a middle aged man living with parents? Edited December 24, 2020 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 24, 2020 Author Share Posted December 24, 2020 23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok so how is her situation even remotely comparable to a middle aged man living at home for no apparent reason? What exactly is the point you are making? Her condition/treatment or a middle aged man living with parents? You forgot that I also mentioned a man on disability as well vs a woman on disability. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 Completely depend on the level of disability, doesn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 I’m assuming the OP means a man with the exact condition as this particular woman or something equally comparable. And yes, I suspect it would limit a man’s options everything being equal, more than a woman’s. Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 Let's be honest here. Of course there are more chances for a woman to land a guy, no matter what her situation is. Is there even a doubt? Of course there is a double standard here. Heck yes, not many women are going to date a guy over 40 who is on a disability and who lives with his parents. One time a guy friend of mine told me that a woman can be severely overweight, didn't have a job, have five kids by six different guys and guess what? Guys are still are going to find here desirable and are going to fight over her and stand in line to date her. Not every guy is going to want her of course, some will run away indeed. But for the average not very picky guy she will do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 Its good that she has got out and is making her own way although how dependent she is on the man could be an issue down the line, Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted December 24, 2020 Senior Moderators Share Posted December 24, 2020 (edited) This thread has just had a clean up. Posts containing conjecture, assumption and criticism of some disability support recipients have been removed as they are both off topic and walk the line of group berating. At a reminder: the topic is whether or not a man who lives at home and requires disability support could find a relationship as easy as a woman in the same situation can. Edited December 24, 2020 by Lisa Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 I don’t think it matters what your gender is, if you live at home with a disability, and you are online dating. Online dating is a horrible platform for romance and only works for a small percentage who use it to find a relationship. I don’t think your friend’s chances at romance are reduced because she lives at home with narcolepsy. And if she were a man I don’t think his chances would be reduced because he lives at home with narcolepsy. Romance is based on individual needs. If your friend is online dating, she will come across some men, who think her narcolepsy is a deal breaker for them, b/they don’t want to deal with that. I don’t know why you think disability + romance is gender biased. Romance and online dating is a crapshoot in general, even if you add a person’s disability to the list. Plenty of people with disabilities who live at home, have healthy romantic lives, of both genders. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted December 25, 2020 Share Posted December 25, 2020 2 hours ago, Watercolors said: I don’t know why you think disability + romance is gender biased. I know this is anecdotal, but it somewhat supports the theory in question. Quite a few years back, I dated a woman in a wheelchair. I attended several wheelchair group events with her. The vast majority of women at those events had men standing next to them. The vast majority of men were alone. I'm curious now, so I'm going to see if there have been any studies about the statistical desirability of men vs. women with the same disabilities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted December 25, 2020 Author Share Posted December 25, 2020 9 hours ago, Shining One said: I know this is anecdotal, but it somewhat supports the theory in question. Quite a few years back, I dated a woman in a wheelchair. I attended several wheelchair group events with her. The vast majority of women at those events had men standing next to them. The vast majority of men were alone. I'm curious now, so I'm going to see if there have been any studies about the statistical desirability of men vs. women with the same disabilities. There was this one woman that says that she lives with her parents and is on crutches all her life. Actually was pretty attractive (at least to me) physically. Contacted her couple of times, never heard back...so...yeah, I'm sure she has a hefty inbox regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 25, 2020 Share Posted December 25, 2020 Not everyone who is disabled, lives with parents. Some are married or live indepently or their parents are deceased. The key is to realize your dating situation is unique to you and can't be randomly compared to the experiences of others. Link to post Share on other sites
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