Partner brother nightmare

[Squiggz]

Okay so I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on this topic. 

Myself and my boyfriend have been together 6 /7 years. In the early stages of our relationship I stayed with him at his mother's house the majority of the time but have moved out over a year ago and we are happy in our first home together. He has 2 older brothers one of which is 35 and still lives at home. He, to be quiet honest is a horrible person to be around. We had one or two run ins in the time I spent in the house and I never enjoyed his company. He is loud, obnoxious and has very little respect for his surroundings or others. Especially his own mother which really drives me crazy.

This to me is a grown man who acts like a child. He doesn't understand the concept of keeping a house clean. He never stops shouting and complaining regardless of whether its a family event or in public. He throws tantrums worse then a toddler and he is so slow there is no point in even trying to have a logical conversation with him. He is a total free loader who has no plans on ever leaving his mothers house and has barely worked the past year. So now that you're filled in here comes my problem.

Since we have moved out I see very little of my boyrriends family apart from the odd family event I have to attend. I have so many bad memories in that house I hate going there, when I do his brother is always there and u can rest assure he will be shouting about something stupid.  My issue is that every so often my boyfriend wants to bring his brother to our apartment for drinks or whatever, which is my idea of a nightmare. The first time he came over he fell asleep drunk and spilled a beer all over our new rug. (Which I knew something would get wrecked when he came over as he has no respect for other people's property). I am at the point now where I just can't be bothered putting in any effort. Everytime my partner asks can he come over we end up in an argument. He always makes out im the bad guy because he spends time with my brother.the thing is he gets along with my family very well.. he does go to see his family atleast once a week so he does see them he just wants to be able to bring them here,  the problem is I see this as my home and find it difficult to share it with someone like his brother.

For example, today is Christmas and I told him to stay in his mothers house with his brother because id actually rather spend Xmas alone then be around his brother. The only reason he wants him here is because his brother would be alone (and rightly so in my opinion) as his mothers stays with her partner at his house Christmas night and n one else would stay with or have him over.  Im just afraid when his mam passes I will be stuck, with or worse again,  taking care of his horrible, freeloading brother for the rest of my days if we do end up settling down together...what should I do?

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Squiggz said:

.Since we have moved out I see very little of my boyrriends family apart from the odd family event I have to attend. 

Avoid then, as you have been. Make sure wherever you live has a security system with video at the door.

Also make sure  your shared assets have the appropriate titles. 

Keep all finances separate otherwise.

You are not married so your fears of taking care of his family makes no sense, unless they own/co-own the house you live in.

Your BF can have his family, but you need much better boundaries.