questions about trust

[JS17]

And if both of you don't stop arguing on my thread I will kick your asses out of here, ok?

 

If you feel that is the appropriate measure loony then I support your decision.

[lindya]

1. Do you basically trust / distrust people when you have met them?

 

I give people the benefit of the doubt. The more I feel a fast connection with someone (because of their body language, sense of humour, opinions expressed etc) the more I'll feel likely to trust them.

 

2. What makes you gain / lose trust in another person?

 

I suppose that would be where situations have arisen that tested the person's character and highlighted serious flaws and weaknesses.

 

3. Does it influence your judgement if you're interacting with someone of the opposite sex?

 

I'm less likely to trust my own judgement if I'm sexually attracted to someone.

 

4. Where's the line between being too suspicious and preventing you from enjoying life and people and being to gullible and making poor judgement in regard to potential friends and partners?

 

I don't really draw one. I give people I don't know very well the benefit of the doubt - unless the circumstances are such that in doing that I could place myself at serious risk. I think that provided you try to be fairly rational, relaxed and objective in your dealings with people, you'll tend to see them pretty much as they are. Problems tend to arise when you only see what you want to see, and set yourself up for disappointment.

 

5. Do you think you ever ruined a potential friendship/relationship by being too distrustful?

 

I can't think of an example. There have been times people I didn't really know expected me to place an unrealistic amount of trust in them - and became angry when I refused to. I don't think those were people I'd have formed any meaningful relationship with, though.

 

It's an interesting thread, loony

[scratch]

scratch, I think JS meant to say that you, Woggle, Gold Pile are not very trusting or trustworthy people

 

That's what I asked her and she refused to answer. And, I happen to really resent being considered untrustworthy, especially when the claim is made not due to trust at all, but rather to the lack of a personality click.

 

Here's an addendum to you little thread - to what extent do we find people who like the same things and have the same ideas as us trustworthy? Or, are we usually able to base that determination on more objective criteria?

[lindya]

to what extent do we find people who like the same things and have the same ideas as us trustworthy?

 

I think you can have more amiable and relaxed chats with those people. As seen on this board, it can be difficult for people to disagree without it becoming personalised - and once that happens, trust can often be lessened.

 

I wouldn't necessarily consider somebody to be a more trustworthy individual simply because they shared the same views as me. I'd prefer that people stated their views (whether or not they concurred with mine) than pretend to be some sort of kindred spirit. If someone can't be loyal to their own personal philosophies in the company of other people, I doubt they'd be loyal to many other things.

[scratch]

I wouldn't necessarily consider somebody to be a more trustworthy individual simply because they shared the same views as me. I'd prefer that people stated their views (whether or not they concurred with mine) than pretend to be some sort of kindred spirit. If someone can't be loyal to their own personal philosophies in the company of other people, I doubt they'd be loyal to many other things.

 

I don't disagree with you, but this may be more idealistic than we'd like it to be. I think it's human nature to commingle our enjoyment of a person with the trust we have in that person. Over the long run, it's often the case that we end up liking the people we've come to trust, but in the immediate term we are quicker to trust people we tend to like.

[loony]

If you feel that is the appropriate measure loony then I support your decision.

Thanks.

[loony]

It's an interesting thread, loony

Thanks, too.

[loony]

Over the long run, it's often the case that we end up liking the people we've come to trust, but in the immediate term we are quicker to trust people we tend to like.

Not necessarily. I know people I find a bit annoying but would assume they are decent. And some you start liking without being sure if they are trustworthy or not.