Guy I'm seeing offered me hid families/friends EBT (food stamp) card but I'm offended

[Commongoal123]

Definitely a strange offer.  Just as strange though is your reaction to it of being "offended".  Hilarious, actually.

Don't be so uptight.

[BKerJrust]

8 hours ago, Commongoal123 said:

Definitely a strange offer.  Just as strange though is your reaction to it of being "offended".  Hilarious, actually.

Don't be so uptight.

Lol how is it funny? It was random lol 

[d0nnivain]

On 12/28/2020 at 3:52 PM, BKerJrust said:

 it isn’t his food stamps 

That's why his ethics are questionable.  

I still think it's coming from a good place -- him trying to help / contribute, but the fact that he may be breaking the law is definitely problematic.  

Again I'm not clear on why you are insulted. 

[ThereSheGoes]

On 12/29/2020 at 12:30 PM, Commongoal123 said:

Definitely a strange offer.  Just as strange though is your reaction to it of being "offended".  Hilarious, actually.

Don't be so uptight.

 

Yeah, I kinda giggled too. LOL. Never had a man offer me his EBT card! Netflix, yes. Foodstamps, no. LOL.

If you're doing all the cooking, just say, use some of that to buy us some dinner tonight, and I'll cook it for you. That way, only HE'S committing the fraud, and you get to hold on to your dignity, which for some reason has been ruffled.

Do you know how many people I know who would have jumped at free food?  Whether they need it or not.

[Pumaza]

Are you in need and told him you need something?

Its a bit early for that if so,asking stranger guy stuff.

But if he did based on that he ment well i guess.

But if its out of blue,and you dont like it,he probably not the kind of financial situation you looking for.move on.

[Cookiesandough]

Perhaps, but you don’t know if they were given to him for some reason. You don’t know if the person that got them is the unethical one or him.

[Lotsgoingon]

Do you mean you were offended by him thinking you might "need" the food stamps? 

The problem I see is that this offer shows this guy is socially clueless. He's going way too fast. Offering what is essentially money to someone this early on is a mistake, shows serious boundary problems.  I'm assuming from your reaction that you and he have not had conversations about money and that you've not been talking to him about serious financial distress. If you have been talking about your financial stress openly with him, then I see his offer as less problematic. 

Still there are red flags of cluelessness here. For one, he didn't stop to think, "maybe she'll consider this fraud and cheating." For two, he said he's going to offer it. He needed to first tell you what the deal was and explain why he was offering it. 

I think of moves like this as clumsy attempts to basically mesh his life with yours. This unfortunately is a major red flag. He's seeing himself in you and not seeing you as a different person with a different view of the world. That never ends up right.