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Next move? Or not!!


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After about 6 months of NC, as you know, I called the EW to ask her to go to a game with me, fearing the worst. For the 1st time in 18 months she was actually civil to me on the phone and said "no im really tired, working all these long hours at my new job" etc etc. I was schocked she actually talked to me like a human being. (Daughter says she regrets changing jobs and is sorry she did it).

Perhaps the 'real world' reality is setting in and as some ppl have said, maybe her anger is dwindling and shes rethinking things.

Anyway, my mom thot it was a good sign, and suggested that in a week or 2 i call her and ask her to dinner. I, on the other hand, think thats a bad idea and should let her sit and think (if in fact she is). After all, I tried...why push it. If anything, her attitude towards me on the phone has me comforted a little, and if thats all i get out of it, why push the button and recall her to have her knock me down to earth again??

Do i wait a while and call? Or do I disappear again? Where do i go?

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You need to remember that even though the anger had dropped and she was civil towards you that she still rejected your offer..

 

Don't make this into more than it is.

If she wanted to rekindle something she would've gone to the game with you ..

 

Back off again..

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Anyway, my mom thot it was a good sign, and suggested that in a week or 2 i call her and ask her to dinner. I, on the other hand, think thats a bad idea and should let her sit and think (if in fact she is). After all, I tried...why push it. If anything, her attitude towards me on the phone has me comforted a little, and if thats all i get out of it, why push the button and recall her to have her knock me down to earth again??

 

I believe you are starting to get the idea.

 

Let her initiate whatever contact there is for now, & keep things light & cordial. Let her see that you're starting to feel better & move on with life.

 

If (and this is a BIG if!!!) she begins to suggest some reconciliation, then you would proceed carefully from there.

 

Right now, stay strong.

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