Stringed Along?

[M_Dolly3]

Been with my now-fiancé for 11 years and while we got engaged in February of this year, I see zero genuine interest in him wanting to plan a future with me. Everytime I bring up the topic of our future together or anything concerning a wedding he says “we’ll see how things go”.
 

We do not live together and I am starting to think he has other plans for his future. I have tried talking to him about my concerns but he always reassures me that everything is ok. 
 

Am I approaching this the wrong way?

[basil67]

This guy isn't a team player.  It's all on his terms and you're just along for the ride.  If you're happy to gamble your life waiting for if and when he wants to get married, buy a house, have kids...then by all means stay with him.

But if you want say in the direction and timing of your own life, you're with the wrong guy.

[Wiseman2]

46 minutes ago, M_Dolly3 said:

Been with my now-fiancé for 11 years.

he says “we’ll see how things go”.

We do not live together 

Sorry this is happening. 11 years is an inordinately long time to be in this type of limbo, no?

Unfortunately the answer is in his actions, not words.

How old is he? Are you on the same page as far as finances, family, future goals,etc.?

What do you think the hold up is as far as a commitment is concerned?

[ExpatInItaly]

If he doesn't already have some inkling of "how things will go" after 11 years, then it's time to face the truth: this man doesn't want to marry you. 

 

[d0nnivain]

Yes & no.  It's hard to plan anything in this pandemic.  But after 11 years it's high time you moved forward. 

Try asking him what he wants.  Do you want a big wedding or would you be OK with a courthouse wedding?  It's not that hard to throw together something small with immediate family only.  If marriage as opposed to the big expensive party is your goal, you make the arrangements with his blessing then have him show up at the appointed time / place.  Viola you're married.