How do you super avg guys get really hot gfs?

[Cookiesandough]

I was on Facebook today and this guy who is friends with my ex popped up in my friend suggestions. So I looked at his profile. What caught my eye is that he has a super hot gf. So I went down this rabbit hole and wasted my time looking at their stuff. My mind is blown. This guy is so basic. I wonder what is going on here. The only thing I can figure out is he works at a law firm, but she has a pretty good job too...
I think I have seen stuff like this before, though.  This seems to go against the whole leagues thing that is often preached around here. I am wondering what you guys think. 

Edited December 27, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Happy Lemming]

8 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

The only thing I can figure out is he works at a law firm, but she has a pretty good job too...

Law firm = big wallet

She has a pretty good job too = Yes, but its never enough for some women.  You know the old saying... what is "hers is hers" and "what is his is hers, as well".

No surprise here... its about the money.

[Gaeta]

Working at a law firm means nothing in terms of good salary if he's young and not an associate. Electricians and Welders make more money than young lawyers here. 

What attracts women to these less-Hollywood-attractive men is something you cannot measure on FB, it's all about their confidence & energy. 

[Ruby_Red]

2 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Law firm = big wallet

She has a pretty good job too = Yes, but its never enough for some women.  You know the old saying... what is "hers is hers" and "what is his is hers, as well".

No surprise here... its about the money.

That’s what I’m thinking. Money, status. Lawyer = high status = intelligence = good education; maybe he went to a prestigious college, maybe he’s funny, too, and sociable (women love that stuff)

[Cookiesandough]

He works as a systems support technician for the law firm. He’s not a lawyer or anything

[central]

He probably is a wonderful person - personality, values, kindness, etc.  Those things are far more important for a good relationship than great looks, and some women understand this, find it appealing and attractive, and aren't hung up on looks.

[Cookiesandough]

1 minute ago, central said:

He probably is a wonderful person - personality, values, kindness, etc.  Those things are far more important for a good relationship than great looks, and some women understand this, find it appealing and attractive, and aren't hung up on looks.

Thanks. I agree. I just don’t see it happen as much which is why it threw me off .. Plus people here always talking about leagues

[Happy Lemming]

1 minute ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

He works as a systems support technician for the law firm.

He is probably still pulling down a 6 figure income... Law firms pay well.

[Ruby Slippers]

The average systems support tech salary in the U.S. is $45,000. I doubt he's making more than double that just because he's at a law firm. My guess is he treats her like a goddess. Anytime I've dated a man who thinks I'm "out of his league," that's what he does. 

[Gaeta]

Question is, do these relationships last in time. This guy knows he has a hot girlfriend out of his league, he's probably insecure about it, feeling he doesn't deserve her and she'll leave with the next hot guy, can this guy really relax around her, who knows. These guys tend to sabotage their relationship. 

[Cookiesandough]

10 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Question is, do these relationships last in time. This guy knows he has a hot girlfriend out of his league, he's probably insecure about it, feeling he doesn't deserve her and she'll leave with the next hot guy, can this guy really relax around her, who knows. These guys tend to sabotage their relationship. 

Apparently they’ve been together three years. You said that some guys have a certain energy, je ne sais quoi, confidence? Could it be that he does not think he is out of her league.idk

If he is nice to her, I’m sure that she has a ton of orbiters who are also nice to her? In addition to that, what makes him different than all the rest of the guys that are nice to her if that’s all it is? I was being generous when I said he is average.

 

I don’t like it. It goes against what I know about life. It would be like going outside one day and the grass is pink. Ok maybe not that bad, but you know what I mean 

Edited December 27, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Gaeta]

I don't know anything anymore.  I heard from my ex-bf I was too beautiful for him, I could get any guy I wanted, he looks nothing next to me, In his country women like me would never give the time of the day to blue color like him, then I find he's having sex with unaccomplished-ugly-older-fat women. I used to be the big defender of women dating men a bit less attractive, a bit less accomplished, that just went out the window. 

[Ruby_Red]

He must have some redeeming qualities. Maybe he’s a super-attentive lover, and sex is important to her, or like Gaeta said, he’s a high-energy, outgoing, funny person. That’s usually attractive. Everybody’s attracted to that. But sooo many other factors play into attraction, too. This might go back all the way to her childhood ..... maybe he reminds her of a male family member that was important to her when she was little. I have noticed that about myself. I have an uncle, and we spent a lot of time together before I was a teenager. He was more like an older brother, and he took me everywhere. He wasn’t that much older, but he already drove a car, and he took me places. I loved him and I still do (like a brother/friend). He is not professionally successful per se, and he makes no significant amount of money, but he is happy with his job and with his wife and kids, and he always looks so happy. Always smiling and stuff. He’s always been like that. Even at 18!! He has the kindest face ever. Every time I see some guys on tv or in real life who remind me of my uncle’s face, I immediately get that fuzzy feeling, and I want to talk to  them and get to know them. It’s powerful 

[Ruby_Red]

7 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I don't know anything anymore.  I heard from my ex-bf I was too beautiful for him, I could get any guy I wanted, he looks nothing next to me, In his country women like me would never give the time of the day to blue color like him, then I find he's having sex with unaccomplished-ugly-older-fat women. I used to be the big defender of women dating men a bit less attractive, a bit less accomplished, that just went out the window. 

Thats so sad. But the fact that he voiced openly that he found himself to be “subpar” compared to you probably means that he constantly wanted/needed extra validation. I’m sure he wanted it from you, but that’s often not enough for insecure men. That’s when they go look elsewhere. For sex and validation, and ideally both. As a partner you just can’t give enough validation. It’s a bottomless pit situation. 

[Lotsgoingon]

Not unusual at all to find (in regular life--maybe not in tv and online life) a couple where one person seems more attractive than their spouse.

You can't know the answer unless you spent time with the couple and saw how they interacted and what he brings to the table and what she likes about him and he about her and on and on. 

But to give a general answer: how you look, especially for a guy, is flexible. Confidence makes you look better to other people. Comfort with yourself makes you look better. A good personality, wit, being articulate, being funny, being kind, being smart--and the endless combinations of those traits--all shape attractiveness. One of my close women friends is powerfully attracted to guys who dress well and groom themselves well. Doesn't really matter how "good looking" they are--she gets turned on by how they keep themselves up. 

You really can't tell how attractive someone is by a photo. I used to work with a woman who looks OK in photos. In person, nearly every guy who worked with her fell in love with her because the photo doesn't capture her beauty and she's got tons more going on than beauty. 

It's always a combination of things. 

 

[Cookiesandough]

Thanks. I don’t see it much where I’m from. It might be my city, but people tend to pair up with people of similar attractive Ness around here. I don’t usually see a big discrepancy there. When I do, it is not this severe. But still noticeable. Thanks for your thoughts.

[Lotsgoingon]

I don't disagree that it's more frequent to see people supposedly equally matched. 

[Foxhall]

Not feeling the sharpest today, so excusing my ignorance- can someone define what actually are super average guys??

based on my assumption of what it is,- some women enjoy being in control and are happy in the knowledge they have all the power and can call the shots with a guy who is begging to be with them,

op here- you probably match up well personality wise with guys who like to think and have deep conversations- but your struggling to get motivated to jump into bed with them,

is it hard for you to find a well built fit guy who can stimulate you intellectually as well?

[Cookiesandough]

I tend to like avg men such as myself. You make a good point that is, to a large extent, subjective. However, if I could post a pic of them here I know you would say,  “oh” 

Edited December 27, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Voivoda]

He might be a really cool dude. I always though that Mick Jagger was an ugly mofo, but he seems to be doing okay with the ladies.

[Alpacalia]

Well, Emily Ratajkowski said about her boyfriend (now husband), "I'm just attracted to confident men who ... aren't scared of women."

Megan Fox is dating Machine Gun Kelly.

Ariana Grande and Kate Beckinsale dated Pete Davidson.

Attraction goes beyond physical when you emotionally connect with someone.

Edited December 27, 2020 by Alpaca

[ShyViolet]

Well how do you really define "super average"?  You're judging the situation based on some very superficial and limited things.... a few facebook photos and his job title.  Maybe his gf values personality over looks.... as I think people should, or at least value them equally.  Maybe he has a great personality, maybe he's really funny, or smart.  And just because his gf is hot, does that necessarily mean that she's a great catch?  Maybe she has a terrible personality or is dumb as a bag of rocks.  Just seeing a few facebook photos doesn't tell the whole story.

[introverted1]

Maybe he photographs poorly.

I dated a guy who was objectively not very attractive, but he could make me laugh until my sides hurt. He had an ok job, but wasn't loaded or about to be. We dated for the better part of a year.  Best sex of my life.

[Uruktopi]

I don´t have an answer.

I was, strictly about it and not necessarily otherwise, lucky: All women in my life were beauty and quite interesting ones (which is more important than beauty in my choices).

Not my merit, anyhow.  No man can, as long as I know, truly understand women´s criteria about attraction. It´s their privilege, Vive la difference!.

In the end, the woman you love will be, in your eyes, the hottest GF of all possible ones.

 

 

[Shining One]

9 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

How do you super avg guys get really hot gfs?

The same way you get really unattractive girlfriends: Ask out enough of them and some will say yes. I don't know about other men's experiences, but my success ratio with unattractive women was only slightly better than with attractive women. I figured if I'm going to put all this effort in and get rejected so often, it might as well be with women I find really attractive.