How do you super avg guys get really hot gfs?

[poppyfields]

7 hours ago, Alpaca said:

Attraction goes beyond physical when you  emotionally connect with someone

This^.  Genuine attraction/chemistry is not based on looks, social status, money, career.

It goes deeper than that and often cannot even be defined.  It's simply the energy between you. 

If you've never felt that type of energy/chemistry/natural polarity with someone, and always believed in leagues based physical appearance alone, you'll have no idea what I'm talking about. 

Edited December 28, 2020 by poppyfields

[basil67]

They are together because she's not shallow.  She sees so much more than him than just looks.   

Also, "leagues" are more than appearance.  A person who's really hot but can't hold a conversation or who can't do relationships will be a lower league than someone who has lesser looks but has a lot to offer both as a partner and conversationalist.   It just takes longer to discover that the former isn't worth so much.

[Miss Spider]

I just don’t understand this league concept at all. If it is dependent on so many factors, including just personal compatibility, how can it be a scale like higher/below .  This word is meaningless to me by now. 

[Uruktopi]

4 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

I just don’t understand this league concept at all. If it is dependent on so many factors, including just personal compatibility, how can it be a scale like higher/below .  This word is meaningless to me by now. 

I agree with you.

Just perhaps those factors, the ones that make people mutually compatible (whatever those may be) set them into a kind of...league? 😃 

I doubt our answers fit the question of the original poster, anyhow.

[contel3]

Looks are quite subjective.....my friends sister married a guy who frankly, is one of the nastiest and ugliest people I know.

I think she is absolutely gorgeous. I think he looks like a troll. He always looks like he bit into something sour and his skin has a weird, unhealthy, yellowish-green color....you'll imagine my surprise when my friend told me his sister was really superficial and she only married him for his good looks 😮 😮 😮 I thought he was joking. 

[princessaurora]

I think as long as a guy is decent looking,  looks are pretty subjective from that point. There are guys my bff thinks are really hot that  I think are ok or kinda cute and vice versa. We all have different taste. Some like tall, dark, and handsome, some like blonde hair, blue eyes. Some like skinny guys, others like their men with a little muscle. Plus, if you're at least a 7,  personality can elevate you a bit more. So can a  different haircut. You said the girl has been with him for awhile, so maybe his looks have changed since they got together or maybe hers have?  I saw this happen to a fairly cute guy that comes in my workplace. His wife has always been average, but in the last year she's let her hair grow out and started to wear makeup. Now she looks better than him. So, there's definitely alot of factors that could play into why this dude has a beautiful woman on his arm. 

 

[elaine567]

7 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

I just don’t understand this league concept at all. If it is dependent on so many factors, including just personal compatibility, how can it be a scale like higher/below .  This word is meaningless to me by now. 

Because it all adds up. Looks 10 Career 3 Personality 3 Intelligence 3 Compatibility 3 Total = 22/50, below average.
Looks 3 Career 6 Personality 9 Intelligence 7  Compatibility 9 Total = 34/50, above average. 
I guess few are actually using such scales but it is a computation many do in their head and assign leagues accordingly.

[Weezy1973]

You’ve just noticed the exception to the rule and that’s why it’s so jarring to you. Just because the vast majority of couples match up in terms of looks, doesn’t mean they all do. I have a couple of cousins who married men considerably less physically attractive than themselves. The common denominator- they were both raised by parents where their mom was considerably more attractive than their dad. It happens.

[hotpotato]

22 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

I was on Facebook today and this guy who is friends with my ex popped up in my friend suggestions. So I looked at his profile. What caught my eye is that he has a super hot gf. So I went down this rabbit hole and wasted my time looking at their stuff. My mind is blown. This guy is so basic. I wonder what is going on here. The only thing I can figure out is he works at a law firm, but she has a pretty good job too...
I think I have seen stuff like this before, though.  This seems to go against the whole leagues thing that is often preached around here. I am wondering what you guys think. 

Plenty of women are dating men who are beneath them as far as looks. There are not that many good looking men, but beautiful, sexy women are everywhere. Some pretty women will have to date down in looks. 

In my years people watching, people either looksmatch or the woman is more attractive than the man. Very rarely do I see a hot guy with an unattractive girl (unless it's a certain situation I wont go into in this thread.)

Months ago I found a former dating coach, and she essentially said that a lot of single women are waiting around for sexy men. She said, and I agree, that beauty and sex appeal are more readily found in women. She says women shouldnt judge men the way men judge women. 

[central]

Personally, I've mostly dated very attractive women ever since high school.  I may be average looking, but I am above average in the ways that really matter to a lasting, happy relationship.  I know my worth, and simply sought out women who match it - and that means depths of personality, character, etc., not just beauty.  I also dated average looking women who have extraordinary qualities.

[Weezy1973]

10 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

I just don’t understand this league concept at all. If it is dependent on so many factors, including just personal compatibility, how can it be a scale like higher/below .  This word is meaningless to me by now. 

I find it more meaningful to think of leagues in terms of options. The both quantity and quality of options one has determines ones leagues. Things like looks, career, charm, etc. all go into the formula that determines ones options.

[sothereiwas]

On 12/27/2020 at 8:52 AM, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

The only thing I can figure out is he works at a law firm, but she has a pretty good job too.

It's not usually really about the money. In our society, money is a decent proxy for prowess, as is a prestigious career. Men don't see women the way women see men. For the most part, YMMV, professional driver on a closed course, etc.  

[mark clemson]

Not disagreeing with any of the very valid points others have made. My $0.02:

"Hot" is in the eye of beholder, so that's one possibility.  Another important thing is that there are more ways for men to be attractive to women than "looks". This is true for men's attraction to women as well, but is even more the case with women, I believe.

Finally, women, like men, employ a variety of what one might term "mating strategies". So, perhaps (as has been pointed out) she is going a bit "down" for a LTR to increase her "power"  and the level of appreciate she gets, reduce (probably) the competition and risk of infidelity she might get with a better looking man, etc, etc. There are advantages and disadvantages to every choice, so perhaps she made a pragmatic pick.

It's also of course always possible she simply feel hard for the guy.

"There's no accounting for taste."

[ThereSheGoes]

I have noticed this too. I see a lot of women who are absolutely gorgeous, with men most people wouldn't even look twice at. I believe it just boils down to their connection. I can speak for myself and say, that I prefer the unconventional attractive men, over the conventionally attractive. They seem to have had time to develop their character more, and are not so focused on the shallow and the mundane, from my experience. They actually have something to talk about, and aren't afraid to be silly or goofy. Which I find to be very attractive in a man.

 

I've dated men who were conventionally attractive (or viewed themselves to be conventionally attractive) and the energy just felt very......superficial. Like they picked me because I was decently good looking, and so they were after the optics of it all.

Unconventionally attractive guys is where its at.

[Miss Spider]

Interesting. Thanks, everyone. 

Edited December 28, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[FMW]

15 hours ago, poppyfields said:

If you've never felt that type of energy/chemistry/natural polarity with someone, and always believed in leagues based physical appearance alone, you'll have no idea what I'm talking about. 

Totally agree.  Looks were important to me when I was a teenager/early twenties, but are way down on my list now.  I obviously can't get involved with someone who I actually find physically unattractive, but beyond that emotional and mental connection with someone blows everything else away.   

[basil67]

6 hours ago, elaine567 said:

Because it all adds up. Looks 10 Career 3 Personality 3 Intelligence 3 Compatibility 3 Total = 22/50, below average.
Looks 3 Career 6 Personality 9 Intelligence 7  Compatibility 9 Total = 34/50, above average. 
I guess few are actually using such scales but it is a computation many do in their head and assign leagues accordingly.

And it's possible that one may start really high and just keep dropping further down the rungs as their real personality emerges.    

[Interstellar]

confidence, having a sense of humor and not being all over her like a cheap suit unlike the other turkeys she’s dated. 

there could  also be something quirky about him that she likes. physical attraction is subjective after all.

or if a woman is into short, stocky guys then the king of Norway is out.

Edited December 29, 2020 by Interstellar

[healing light]

13 hours ago, hotpotato said:

Very rarely do I see a hot guy with an unattractive girl (unless it's a certain situation I wont go into in this thread.)

I have three men I have been good friends with who have dated "down" in terms of looks. To the point where people would come up to me at parties and ask me what the guy was doing with them. These women weren't just much less attractive, they were also possessive, controlling, jealous, and mean. From what I have observed, the guys are mirroring patterns in their families and are all emotionally unavailable to some extent. One admitted to me he was never in love with or attracted to the girl he dated for 5.5 years but he felt obligated to her because she needed him (he is co-dependent with his mother and rescues her often); another told me that he dated a woman who was hot before and men would approach her like he wasn't there so it really humiliated him to be dismissed like that--he pretty much vowed to himself that he would never date someone that attractive again; and the last one was pressured by a friend into dating the woman, used to laugh over how unattractive she was prior to dating her, but was too much of a pansy to extract himself until a few years in (he is now in a long-term relationship with someone similarly abusive who is also not physically his purported type). The common dominator with the last two is that they tend to go for women that have plenty of money/whose resumes look good on paper, so I'm sure there is a practical reason why the arrangements worked out for them. They seem to run when their hearts could actually be on the line from what I have observed.

So, you never know. There could be familial lessons, practical considerations, or maybe the person  puts a lot of emphasis on a good personality or really finds someone attractive that others don't looks-wise. I had two female roommates who would laugh over who I found attractive and all the men they wanted would have never done it for me looks-wise, to the point where I was certain if I found someone cute they wouldn't and vice versa. I was actually grateful for that because our tastes rarely overlapped when going out, so it worked out for everyone.

And for me attraction is malleable based off the mental/emotional connection. I have found myself in some situations where I wasn't initially attracted to someone, but also wasn't repulsed, and their personality made me find them super attractive over time... and others where men were stunning physically but their personalities just killed any semblance of attraction I could have had for them.

Edited December 29, 2020 by healing light

[Mrin]

Attraction is weird. I dated a fitness model. She was so objectively pretty that I once watched a waiter walk into a wall with a full tray staring at her. But for some reason she did nothing for me. Zero. Zilch. She was into me but I just couldn't. It was weird. I was like what the hell is wrong with me?

[Acacia98]

On 12/27/2020 at 8:15 PM, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Thanks. I agree. I just don’t see it happen as much which is why it threw me off .. Plus people here always talking about leagues

People on online discussion boards generally like to reduce everything to "leagues." I recognize that the attitude is reflected in the real world. But I do think we overestimate it's importance. There are plenty of broke and poor people in decent relationships. There are plenty of good-looking people in relationships with average-looking people.

I guess what it comes down to is that not everybody thinks of every potential love/sexual interest else as an object with implications for his/her status. Some people actually recognize there is depth to being human: there are emotional and other components to the human experience and a balding "basic" guy is not somehow a lesser human than a guy with conventional good looks.

I think the "leagues philosophy" as we know it today is largely an Americanism. I definitely think it's reminiscent of the way social ranking happens in American high schools. And yes, I do think that's sad. 

[Wiseman2]

Just courious what "super average" is?

Do you mean sort of ugly or just plain?

To answer your question, the concept of arm candy has been around for quite a while. 

So maybe they both appreciate each other in ways that can't be seen from the outside.

Edited December 29, 2020 by Wiseman2

[elaine567]

I think women who are average can catapult themselves into "hot" with makeup, great hair, nice clothes, push up padded bras, breast implants and big heels... etc.
They may still have an "average" mentality so are not seeking out hot guys.
The average guy may thus fit the bill perfectly.

[gaius]

Most of my former male co workers are always whining on Facebook about their male pain. How much they've been hurt. How you have to earn your way into their heart. Wah wah wah boo hoo. I went on a road trip with one of them for work and his wife deliberately cleaned out his account while he was away so he had no money for food. He didn't even divorce her over it. She divorced him later on.

With competition like that it doesn't take much to start catching the interest of attractive women. Even if you're not that physically attractive yourself.

 

[Weezy1973]

1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

I think women who are average can catapult themselves into "hot" with makeup, great hair, nice clothes, push up padded bras, breast implants and big heels... etc.
They may still have an "average" mentality so are not seeking out hot guys.
The average guy may thus fit the bill perfectly.

This is also a possibility. Perhaps naked out of the shower they’re way more evenly matched.