seany25 Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 Hi people, I've been seeing this girl on and off for about the last 18 months. The relationship has always been casual, and there have even been a couple of times I thought we had ran our course and we would never see each other again, and there would be up to three months of a break. We always somehow ended up meeting again to spend the night together. We started hooking up again a few months ago. In that time we've only spent perhaps four or five nights together. However, after one of the last nights, something changed. The sex between us has always been absolute fire, which is why I believe we always came back to each other, but after that night the intimacy level between us skyrocketed. Something switched and solidified our connection to more than just casual. We spoke about this feeling, and discovered it was mutual, and left it at "let's see how it goes" rather than rush into any decision making. The thing is, I now know I really want her to be my girlfriend. But now what it feels like, is that she seems to be doing push-pull on me lately. She'll send me a snap or text, I'll respond, she won't respond, sometimes she'll respond, sometimes she won't, and so on and so forth. It feels like I've ended up in the situation where I'm the chaser. Which is extremely interesting to me because.. With me being a student of psychology, I know exactly what is going on in my head. However, whilst I'm fully conscious of why I feel the way I do, it's not something I can just turn off, because I fancy her like crazy. It's good to know the how and why of the situation though, so I can self-analyse. The funny part is, this is a chick who didn't show up to see me one night earlier in the year and I was like "ok then madam, I won't be bothering with you again" and yet here I am on the polar opposite side of that idea. I could also be overthinking it. I mean it's Christmas and she's a single mum with 3 kids and was/is obviously busy, but if she's trying to make me want her more, it's really working. I'm starting to get concerned about the possibility of another guy having got her attention and it's making me feel jealous. Of course, it would be none of my business, but it would hurt, because the less attention she gives me (which is becoming less) the more I want her. She posted a snap last night of her having boxing night drinks, I think (hope) at her sisters house and I felt butterflies and my heart beating faster at how beautiful she looked, and the worry of someone else getting her attention. For full disclosure, I am actively seeing another girl too. Neither know of the other, but no-one is being deceived, since everything is casual. However, I'm willing to be a one woman man to my main lady. At the minute I'm just trying my best not to turn into something ugly; a little needy whiney b***h. I don't want to text anything stupid like "you seem so distant lately" or any of that nonsense. Instead I think I'm going to do the opposite and go radio silence. Perhaps she's just getting Christmas over with and she'll get back to me, or perhaps not. At least either way I'll know. Anyone got any happy thoughts or ideas for me please? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, seany25 said: , I now know I really want her to be my girlfriend. Just ask her to be exclusive and be BF/GF.. Stop tiptoeing around in the FWB zone if you are ready for more than that. Edited December 28, 2020 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seany25 Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Quote Just ask her to be exclusive and be BF/GF.. Stop tiptoeing around in the FWB zone if you are ready for more than that. Yes but this is something I'd like to do face to face, and all this push-pull stuff worries me I'm not gunna get that chance. She certainly knows my position, that I'm enamoured with her, but I need to keep my cool and not start sending drunk texts and sh*t like a lovesick puppy that might put her off me. And I definitely won't be asking her to be my girlfriend over text. We're not on each others social media other than snapchat, so there's appropriate boundaries in place. The reason I think this is important is because we don't know what the other is up to aside from the occasional post on snapchat, which is a good thing under these circumstances. She's obviously busy with Christmas and all that, so I think I just have to continue being the mentally strong man I am and wait for her to make her next move. She knows I miss her and want to see her, I don't think there's any point in repeating myself. It's just very interesting that I'm feeling the love bug and butterflies again in my 30s. Edited December 28, 2020 by seany25 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 11 hours ago, seany25 said: I am actively seeing another girl too. Neither know of the other, but no-one is being deceived, If you are dating around playing the field, keep it casual. I disagree that dating both and hiding it is "no one being deceived". Link to post Share on other sites
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