Findingfreedom Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 Years ago I’d get a text from xmm saying “hey love how are you?” Or just something mushy or that he misses me or whatever... but meanwhile like a few weeks before he was ignoring me or not answering texts or giving me one word answers or making plans then blowing me off and then he acts like that never happened and I am overreacting or I’m looking into things too much. If I tried to address my feelings he would disappear again.I’m pretty sure this is gaslighting. I know it’s a mental issue and it’s definitely messed up how a person can do that to another whether involved or not but I just wanted to see if anyone else gets this? Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted December 29, 2020 Share Posted December 29, 2020 (edited) Not bipolar imo, but narcissistic. Bipolar is a mood disorder. Narcissism is a personality disorder. Get yourself off the ferris wheel and watch some youtube videos on narcissism...lots of good ones by credentialed professionals there. Edited December 29, 2020 by HadMeOverABarrel Spelling 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 Those are not indications of Bipolar Disorder, no. They're indications of a married man who is trying to avoid getting caught by his wife and trying to prevent you from getting too close. They're indications of a married man who wants to have his cake and eat it too, and not be held accountable whatsoever. That's all. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 (edited) On 12/28/2020 at 1:33 PM, Findingfreedom said: I just wanted to see if anyone else gets this? No, nobody gets it. Why do you chose this for yourself? Why do you stay? Edited December 31, 2020 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
ABernie Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Those are not indications of Bipolar Disorder, no. They're indications of a married man who is trying to avoid getting caught by his wife and trying to prevent you from getting too close. They're indications of a married man who wants to have his cake and eat it too, and not be held accountable whatsoever. That's all. This, plus maybe a little bit of, I'm confused and putting myself first trying to figure out what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 1 minute ago, ABernie said: This, plus maybe a little bit of, I'm confused and putting myself first trying to figure out what to do. Are you Findingfreedom? Link to post Share on other sites
ABernie Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 (edited) 16 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Are you Findingfreedom? The OP? No. Edited January 1, 2021 by ABernie Clarity Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 I'm not sure why people want to attribute unreliability or ambivalence to serious mental illness/impairment? Sometimes it just is what it is- and looking for complex explanations for what is simply an ambivalent, unreliable ( and dishonest ) person. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 On 12/28/2020 at 2:33 PM, Findingfreedom said: then he acts like that never happened and I am overreacting or I’m looking into things too much. Unfortunately, trying to find a disorder to explain cheating is a form of rationalizing. Cheating is not a mental health disorder. It's a character flaw. Keep in mind that his own life comes first. Cheaters view affair partners as disposable if they become too inconvenient. This is not gaslighting per se, it's an overall picture of a lack of integrity. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. That's the only way to move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 You were messing with someone that is already taken.And he is doing what you signed up for. So what ever he says gos. and when ever. This men dont cheat with you to get into same stuff they having issues with in their marriage.And are running from to cheat with you. They often seek sex and sell you a illusion of divorcing soon and be with you,gifts blah blah. As long you dont wake up,snap out of it,and take responsability, you will keep being use by this manipulative cheating men. If he is not single, (separeted is still married!!!!!!)stay away! Because you know hevwont be 100% with you and for you. Beside its alot of drama comming with that. Move on.block him.Hes not bipolar.He is using you for what he chased ypu for. Dont get used again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 20 hours ago, ABernie said: This, plus maybe a little bit of, I'm confused and putting myself first trying to figure out what to do. 4 hours ago, ABernie said: The OP? No. Ah, ok. I was confused when you said the bolded above; I'm not sure how it related to OP's post. Link to post Share on other sites
lillyxoxo Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 (edited) MM follow the same pattern when wife gets suspicious or you are getting too close they go cold on you. This is until they have paid her enough attention and she's no longer suspicious but then you now have pulled away so they have to love bomb you to pull you back into the A this cycle can go on forever. Edited January 1, 2021 by lillyxoxo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Findingfreedom Posted January 2, 2021 Author Share Posted January 2, 2021 16 hours ago, Ellener said: I'm not sure why people want to attribute unreliability or ambivalence to serious mental illness/impairment? Sometimes it just is what it is- and looking for complex explanations for what is simply an ambivalent, unreliable ( and dishonest ) person. Your right! I guess we are always looking for answers and it’s easier to believe someone is mental than just a crappy person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Findingfreedom Posted January 2, 2021 Author Share Posted January 2, 2021 15 hours ago, Pumaza said: You were messing with someone that is already taken.And he is doing what you signed up for. So what ever he says gos. and when ever. This men dont cheat with you to get into same stuff they having issues with in their marriage.And are running from to cheat with you. They often seek sex and sell you a illusion of divorcing soon and be with you,gifts blah blah. As long you dont wake up,snap out of it,and take responsability, you will keep being use by this manipulative cheating men. If he is not single, (separeted is still married!!!!!!)stay away! Because you know hevwont be 100% with you and for you. Beside its alot of drama comming with that. Move on.block him.Hes not bipolar.He is using you for what he chased ypu for. Dont get used again. Agreed... but I haven’t seen him or been w him. He just texts and talks in circles... Link to post Share on other sites
ABernie Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 23 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Ah, ok. I was confused when you said the bolded above; I'm not sure how it related to OP's post. Ah. I was speaking as what I thought MM was thinking. I think (or maybe it's just hope) that many people get into these situations unplanned. Not excusable, but reflection catches up a bit too late. And once you're in, it's hard to get out. Link to post Share on other sites
Bonifidelifelover Posted January 3, 2021 Share Posted January 3, 2021 Not gaslighting u. But ghosting you forsure! But this is typical affair behavior Link to post Share on other sites
Author Findingfreedom Posted February 22, 2021 Author Share Posted February 22, 2021 On 12/31/2020 at 10:14 AM, BaileyB said: No, nobody gets it. Why do you chose this for yourself? Why do you stay? You don’t have to be rude. and I’m not w him anymore I’m no contact Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 Could be he's just not into you or he has a mental issue. Could be either one. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 10 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: Could be he's just not into you or he has a mental issue. Could be either one. Or both maybe?? Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 4 hours ago, alphamale said: Or both maybe?? yup 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Soul-shards Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 On 1/1/2021 at 3:58 AM, Ellener said: I'm not sure why people want to attribute unreliability or ambivalence to serious mental illness/impairment? Sometimes it just is what it is- and looking for complex explanations for what is simply an ambivalent, unreliable ( and dishonest ) person. It sounds cooler and more 'informed' if you bring up some spiffy scientific name. Most of the times, it doesn't apply - never mind some of these illnesses are an actual psych contraption, in and of themselves. It's simply character - the personality in question surrounded by a set of circumstances. The guy sounds flaky and not so high in substance. That's all. Link to post Share on other sites
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