I'm not as emotionally attached to my gf as she was

[Blade peterson]

I love my girlfriend. Sometimes I’m unsure about a lot of things. But this one thing I just can’t get over. I NEED HELP. I wanna stay with my girlfriend forever. She makes me happy she’s my shoulder to cry on. I can’t imagine my life without her. But I have been getting out of the honeymoon faze. I would always think my gf was so beautiful she couldn’t compare to anyone. But as of the past 2 weeks i just haven’t been attracted to her face. She has a 10/10 body. I would always think she had a 10/10 face. But now I think it’s a 4 out of 10.  Looks aren’t everything I know that but I just wanna know how I can fall back in love with her looks. By the way we are both getting ready to be 15. We wanna be together forever. But this is wearing me down. I can’t wait to see her every time I get the chance. But when I think well her face. Then it kinda kills my mood. It’s weird because I think she’s the most beautiful person in the word but sometimes I just don’t feel that. We still have fun sexual wise. I love spending time with her but then I stare at her face and it kills my mood. All I wanna do is lover her face again. All my friends think she is smoking hot. But why don’t I? Please help me.

[alphamale]

3 minutes ago, Blade peterson said:

I love my girlfriend. Sometimes I’m unsure about a lot of things. But this one thing I just can’t get over. I NEED HELP. I wanna stay with my girlfriend forever. She makes me happy she’s my shoulder to cry on. I can’t imagine my life without her. But I have been getting out of the honeymoon faze. I would always think my gf was so beautiful she couldn’t compare to anyone. But as of the past 2 weeks i just haven’t been attracted to her face. She has a 10/10 body. I would always think she had a 10/10 face. But now I think it’s a 4 out of 10.  Looks aren’t everything I know that but I just wanna know how I can fall back in love with her looks. By the way we are both getting ready to be 15. We wanna be together forever. But this is wearing me down. I can’t wait to see her every time I get the chance. But when I think well her face. Then it kinda kills my mood. It’s weird because I think she’s the most beautiful person in the word but sometimes I just don’t feel that. We still have fun sexual wise. I love spending time with her but then I stare at her face and it kills my mood. All I wanna do is lover her face again. All my friends think she is smoking hot. But why don’t I? Please help me.

You’re 15?? Concentrate on school and forget about dating.

[d0nnivain]

At 15, things change & forever is a long way off.   If you are unhappy about some aspect of the relationship that doesn't change (the way her face looks) maybe you need to break up.  Understand, she won't forgive you & come back if in a few days or weeks you realize you were wrong. 

 

[Blade peterson]

1 minute ago, alphamale said:

You’re 15?? Concentrate on school and forget about dating.

I can’t she sits on my mind all day. Plus I have all bs.

[d0nnivain]

1 minute ago, Blade peterson said:

 Plus I have all bs.

Maybe if you weren't dating & she wasn't on your mind all day you would achieve all A's in your classes. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by d0nnivain

[Blade peterson]

1 minute ago, d0nnivain said:

At 15, things change & forever is a long way off.   If you are unhappy about some aspect of the relationship that doesn't change (the way her face looks) maybe you need to break up.  Understand, she won't forgive you & come back if in a few days or weeks you realize you were wrong. 

 

I can’t break up with her it would break my heart. I have a hard time at home and she helps me with that. Last night I cried in her arms. I can’t imagine my life without her.

[Blade peterson]

Just now, d0nnivain said:

Maybe if you weren't dating & she wasn't on your mind all day you would achieve all A's in your classes. 

I don’t want As I want to think my girlfriend is beautiful all the time.

[d0nnivain]

You should want the As.

Look, you don't want to break up with her & she helps you.  When you find yourself being concerned about how her face looks, stop looking with your eyes & start looking with your heart. 

What is going on at home that you are having a hard time & need your GF's help?

[Blade peterson]

Just now, d0nnivain said:

You should want the As.

Look, you don't want to break up with her & she helps you.  When you find yourself being concerned about how her face looks, stop looking with your eyes & start looking with your heart. 

What is going on at home that you are having a hard time & need your GF's help?

My girlfriend helps me emotionally. And I’m trying my hardest but I just don’t understand why this has to be so hard. Why can’t everything be perfect. She isn’t my first love but I want her to be my last. Her family loves me I love them.

[Blade peterson]

2 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

You should want the As.

Look, you don't want to break up with her & she helps you.  When you find yourself being concerned about how her face looks, stop looking with your eyes & start looking with your heart. 

What is going on at home that you are having a hard time & need your GF's help?

Last night my mom told me she hated me. That she didn’t wanna see me on Christmas. Her family said I can come spend the Christmas with them.

[d0nnivain]

Nothing is "perfect" Blade.  Learning to deal with that is part of growing up.  Your GFs positives seem to outweigh a superficial negatives. Focus on that.

I am so sorry that your mom said such an awful thing to you.   Where's your dad?  Can he help?  What about a trusted aunt, uncle, teacher or coach? 

Mom's terrible attitude is all the more reason you need to make As in school.   The higher your GPA you have a better chance for a scholarship that will get you out of mom's house faster.  Then you can earn a degree & never look back. 

Hang in there. 

[Blade peterson]

1 minute ago, d0nnivain said:

Nothing is "perfect" Blade.  Learning to deal with that is part of growing up.  Your GFs positives seem to outweigh a superficial negatives. Focus on that.

I am so sorry that your mom said such an awful thing to you.   Where's your dad?  Can he help?  What about a trusted aunt, uncle, teacher or coach? 

Mom's terrible attitude is all the more reason you need to make As in school.   The higher your GPA you have a better chance for a scholarship that will get you out of mom's house faster.  Then you can earn a degree & never look back. 

Hang in there. 

See she’s the only thing hanging me in. But now as I’m sitting here overthinking. I’m think well should we break up. But why would I even wanna do that she makes me so happy. But why’s it sitting on my mind.

[d0nnivain]

Make the decision to stay with her.  Enjoy Christmas & see how you feel in January. 

[FMW]

There's no magic pill to make you think she's beautiful all the time.  It's likely she doesn't think you're a perfect 10 in all ways either, but she's obviously willing to be there for you.  That's huge, btw.  Pretty is as pretty does is an old saying that you need to think about.  

@d0nnivain is giving you good advice, pay attention to it.  

 

[Blade peterson]

Just now, FMW said:

There's no magic pill to make you think she's beautiful all the time.  It's likely she doesn't think you're a perfect 10 in all ways either, but she's obviously willing to be there for you.  That's huge, btw.  Pretty is as pretty does is an old saying that you need to think about.  

@d0nnivain is giving you good advice, pay attention to it.  

 

Thank you so much. I’m feeling better.

[Blade peterson]

3 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Make the decision to stay with her.  Enjoy Christmas & see how you feel in January. 

Thank you so much. You truly are help.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Blade peterson said:

Last night my mom told me she hated me. That she didn’t wanna see me on Christmas. Her family said I can come spend the Christmas with them.

Sorry this is happening. Are your parents divorced?  What is it about her face that bothers you?

[Blade peterson]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. Are your parents divorced?  What is it about her face that bothers you?

I don’t really know I have all sorts of mixed feelings all the time. Like if you scroll up you’ll see how I describe her like that I love her. But rn I’m unsure if she makes me happy but 45 min ago I thought she was the only thing that makes me happy. This is what initially started my overthinking about everything. The first thing I overthought was “does she really make me happy?”

[Atwood]

I'm so very sorry for the things you're experiencing at home. You are young and it's not your fault you're stuck in a difficult and hurtful place. One day you'll be able to get out of there and make decisions for yourself and start healing. 

What you need to realise is that you can't find healing in another person. When you talk about your girlfriend, you don't talk about how great she is as an individual, you talk about all the ways in which provides you with comfort/validation/"a shoulder to cry on". I'm not saying this is a bad thing, because we all look for comfort and safety in our romantic partners. However, I get the sense that the reason you don't want to break up with her is because you will lose the one person in your life that you can rely on and who supports and loves you, even though you've realised maybe you're not as attracted to her as you would like to be in a physical capacity. 

I think the question "does she make me happy?" is a fair one to ask. Does she really make you happy, or is she just a good person to lean on for support? 

I know you're the oldest and wisest you've ever been, but trust me when I say that at 15 you have only just begun to develop independently and that it will be very many years before you understand who you are enough to know what you need in someone else. Some couples meet at 15 and live happily ever after, but most long-term couples meet later than that. Don't put pressure on yourself about this relationship. You are both so young, and there is nothing wrong with just enjoying each other's company and companionship and exploring what works for you, and it doesn't have to all work out in the end. You're not engaged or betrothed, one or both of you may well grow out of the relationship in time or life will take you to separate schools or states or lifestyles. I think you need to have a mutual agreement that talking about the far future is way too premature and that you should both be focusing on school, figuring out what you want for your own individual goals, and you will work out if you're both in love and 100% in it. 

It's very possible that you can initially find someone attractive and then it changes, or you can find only parts of them attractive which isn't enough for a sustainable relationship. Don't sell her promises of forever and a future, just take things a day at a time and know that you are always allowed to leave. I know that being single for you may also mean that you're alone again without support, but it's an important skill to learn to self regulate and to become comfortable with your own company because a girlfriend or boyfriend cannot fix those feelings of hurt. I know right now it's likely not possible, but as soon as you can get into therapy, please do. I think it will help. 

Best of luck. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Blade peterson said:

I don’t really know I have all sorts of mixed feelings all the time. Like if you scroll up you’ll see how I describe her like that I love her. But rn I’m unsure if she makes me happy but 45 min ago I thought she was the only thing that makes me happy. This is what initially started my overthinking about everything. The first thing I overthought was “does she really make me happy?”

What's wrong at home? Where's your dad? Are you two trying out with weed, drugs, CBD gummies, whatever? That can rapidly distort your perceptions and moods...just like you describe.

Ask a trusted parent to take you to a doctor, whatever you tell a doctor is confidential. You can't keep dumping on this girl this much, you'll lose her.

[ShyViolet]

4 hours ago, Blade peterson said:

She has a 10/10 body. I would always think she had a 10/10 face. But now I think it’s a 4 out of 10. 

Stop this.  Stop rating girls on this rating scale of 1-10.  It's beyond disrespectful, boiling a person down to a number.  

Looks aren't everything.  I have definitely dated guys who I knew weren't conventionally attractive.  And I didn't care because I don't expect to date someone who looks like a model.  That is not something that is important to me.  So you can make a decision for yourself that dating someone who has "model" looks is not important to you.  People are just people.  There are so many aspects of a person that are important in dating... their intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, responsibility, having their life together, having things in common with you.  Looks are just one of the many factors.  You can know that she doesn't have a "model" face and also be fine with that, accept it, and just move on and not focus on it so much.  Or if it really bothers you that much then just don't date her.  It's up to you.

[Allupinnit]

15 is very young and your tastes might change a lot between now and adulthood.  Most teenage romances don't stand the test of time, sorry to say, so I'd take "forever" off the table for now and enjoy being a kid.  I'm glad you have someone to lean on.  Enjoy Christmas with her and her family, and try not to get caught up in her "imperfect" face.  She will likely blossom into a beautiful young woman, 15 is awkward for most of us.

[Cookiesandough]

I felt this way about someone I dated. lol. Sometimes he looked ok but at certain lights /angles I was not attracted.  Not dating anymore. You don’t feel this way about someone you’re super into 

Edited December 11, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[LivingWaterPlease]

Blade, you really shouldn't have to be concerned about this right now at your age. Just enjoy the time you spend with her as a friend.

But, at some point before you marry whomever you end up with you may want to get with a good counselor. It's very possible that indirectly your relationship with your mother is affecting the way you see your girlfriend's face.

Your girlfriend is a very nurturing young lady, you write. She helps you emotionally and with all kinds of things, I believe you may have written. Those are qualities a mom is good at, too.

It's possible that your anger and disgust with your mom is being somehow transferred to the way you see your gf. Especially since you used to think she had a beautiful face and all your friends think so, too.

How long have you felt this way about your gf face?

Has your relationship with your mom always been rocky?

I'm not a counselor but, to me, it seems fairly obvious that there's a possibility there's a correlation between your feelings for your mom and the way you're seeing your nurturing gf's face.

Edited December 11, 2020 by LivingWaterPlease
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[JRabbit]

Do you watch a lot of porn OP?