I'm not as emotionally attached to my gf as she was

[Pumaza]

15??Your girlfreind should be your school and your schoolbooks.Doing your best at school,study hard.Get good grades.😳🙄🙄🙄👍🏽🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

When you like someone, it can change after a while. Like is a feeling. Feelings can change.Nice that you think of marriage.But you dont need that right now.When you are adult you have loads of time to do that.

Only when its love it stays and become more then just a feeling.But  you can understand better when you are a adult.

So now just enjoy your teen years,do hobby,make nice freinds etc. And love yourself first.

You are very young and underage,best is to talk to your parents when you have worries and need advice. We are strangers,And you can get the wrong enfluence asking stuff online.

Edited December 30, 2020 by Pumaza

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, Blade peterson said:

We have only been together for almost three months. .

Ok, dating can have phases and it seems like you are getting more comfortable and relaxed.

The thrills and chills of novelty settles into a more normalized pace..

Keep up the romance and interest. It's good not to be preoccupied.

Just play it by ear so you can see if you're a good fit now that the rosy glasses have come off.

[Blade peterson]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about three months we are only 15 and before anyone says your too young I already know. Anyways iv been under a lot of stress lately I have been overthinking our relationship and been 2nd guess myself. Sometimes I still do it not as much. Last night I was having super bad anxiety I was overthinking I kinda felt like like giving up then I remembered I love her. Your doing this for her you can’t give up. But as of recently when those thoughts come I don’t start freaking out they just kinda sit there in my head but I just kinda sit there. But I don’t wanna give up. As of lately I have been thinking about other women but I could never hurt my girlfriend like that. Does this mean I don’t love her anymore?

[LivingWaterPlease]

No, it doesn't.

Why don't you want to give up?

What were you thinking about when you had super bad anxiety?

How long have you been with your gf?

 

[Blade peterson]

2 hours ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

No, it doesn't.

Why don't you want to give up?

What were you thinking about when you had super bad anxiety?

How long have you been with your gf?

 

3 months I don’t want to give up because it would hurt her and I don’t wanna hurt her anymore. I was thinking about if I didn’t love her and stuff like that. I kinda just don’t care about the thoughts anymore

[LivingWaterPlease]

OK, sounds as if you've figured it out, then!

[Wiseman2]

Ok 3 mos is about the time the thrills and chills of the novelty wear off.

It's a time when either you get more comfortable with someone or you start to question things.

If you are not sure, wait it out. It's normal to notice other girls, but if you feel tied down, you'll have to reconsider if exclusive dating in general or this girl in particular is the best choice for you right now.

Edited December 31, 2020 by Wiseman2

[Blade peterson]

I once used to be emotionally attached to my gf. If she cried I cried. If she got sad I got sad and helped her as much as possible. I don’t cry anymore. But I still help her as much as possible. She’s more emotionally attached than I am. If I cry she cry. Is this a bad thing. I have a feeling my testosterone is blocking these feelings. Any advice or help?

[Blade peterson]

I feel like I moved in from my girlfriend. I can feel myself slowly letting go. But I don’t wanna let go I wanna be happy with her forever. I just wish things would go back to the way they were. Any thoughts that can help me. Sometimes I get these flashes that I still love her and that I still wanna be together forever. I’ll send her a message telling her how perfect she is and how beautiful she is. I want her to know how perfect she is. She deserves it. She the best person I know. I don’t wanna be like everyone else that came into her life and leave. I’m so scared. Please someone help. I’m drowning In these thoughts.

[Atwood]

Judging by your age and your other posts, I think it would be really beneficial for you to speak to a therapist. Therapy is great and it personally was really helpful for me, and I can personally recommend it. You’re still developing, you’re young, you’ve got a lot to discover about yourself and who you are. 
 

I think a good thing for you to start is working on acceptance. You’re pushing back against your thoughts, you feel like you’re drowning in them because the more you resist the more you feel bombarded. Imagine for a second that the waters of your thoughts grow still. You can tread water, you can swim through your thoughts and take your time. Really use that time to look at your thoughts head on, don’t be afraid of them because they’re just thoughts happening inside your head, and there’s nothing wrong with just having thoughts, they belong to you. Acknowledge and accept you’re growing apart from her emotionally, acknowledge any numbness you feel, accept the sadness that makes you feel because it’s okay to feel that sadness because you obviously really like her and care about her and don’t want to hurt her. It’s a difficult position to be in, but please be aware that it’s completely okay for you to make decisions based on those feelings and that you can handle this. If you need to break up, it’s going to be okay. It will be sad and painful, but you are going to come out of these experiences stronger and more knowledgable than ever before. She will be okay too. You’re allowed to leave if it’s right for you. 
 

A therapist can help you with your worries about your thoughts. For now, try to remember that whatever happens, you are capable of handling it and you don’t have to be afraid of what your thoughts are guiding you to do. You got this. 

[snowboy91]

I think a bit more detail is needed here, but as noble as being able to feel each others' feelings is, it's a sign of enmeshment which isn't necessarily healthy. You're still individuals with individual thoughts and feelings.

If you're still able to be a source of comfort and also enjoy the good times with her, then there isn't really a problem. But if she's stressed or depressed lately and there haven't really been "good" times to balance it out, you could be starting to detach a little (it's an emotional protection mechanism). Do you still feel connected to her romantically?

[Blade peterson]

16 hours ago, snowboy91 said:

I think a bit more detail is needed here, but as noble as being able to feel each others' feelings is, it's a sign of enmeshment which isn't necessarily healthy. You're still individuals with individual thoughts and feelings.

If you're still able to be a source of comfort and also enjoy the good times with her, then there isn't really a problem. But if she's stressed or depressed lately and there haven't really been "good" times to balance it out, you could be starting to detach a little (it's an emotional protection mechanism). Do you still feel connected to her romantically?

Somewhat. She’s been depressed. But yes I still enjoy the good times. 

[Blade peterson]

Me and my girlfriend got into a fight today. I told her that I didn’t love her but I want to fall in love with her. And I told her that I loved and cared about her. Sometimes I want to be with her forever. Sometimes I don’t know if I want her. My goal was to never hurt this girl. I care about her so much and I love her. I wish I could snap my fingers and everything would go back to the beginning of our relationship . We were so happy and never argue. If there was a problem we went against the problem not each other. Sometimes I don’t care about her feelings and I say stuff that hurts her. But 5 minutes later I tell her I’m sorry and we come together and cry it out and heal. I don’t wanna say mean things to her. I feel like my overthinking is blocking me out from all the fun stuff. My mood swings are blocking me from actually being able to be with her. I wanna get help for me and her. Someone help me.

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, Blade peterson said:

Me and my girlfriend got into a fight today. I told her that I didn’t love her but I want to fall in love with her. And I told her that I loved and cared about her. Sometimes I want to be with her forever. Sometimes I don’t know if I want her.

No wonder she's upset. 

You're contradicting yourself all over the place. You admit you say things that hurt her - can you give an example? 

How long have you been dating, and how long have you been feeling so conflicted about her? We need a little more context here, I think. 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Blade peterson said:

. My mood swings are blocking me from actually being able to be with her

You need to leave her be and step back. 

Your mixed messages are very hurtful and confusing.

Talk to your physician about the mood swings.

It's not right to recklessly careen through others lives because you're confused.

[Watercolors]

Bald you’re 15 so you’re very young. It sounds to me like you suffer from depression and should have your parents take you to a therapist to sort that out. Your emotional state of mind is all over the place and you seem to suffer from anxiety attacks? Do you? 

Girls your age are not fully developed and their appearance will continue to change. So, you can’t expect your 15 year old girlfriend’s appearance to stay the same. 

By three months, the newness has worn off and both people know each other better. That’s also the amount of time it takes to know if you want to stay in the relationship with the other person. If you don’t want to stay with your girlfriend, then you should break up with her. 

[poppyfields]

On 12/11/2020 at 7:38 AM, Blade peterson said:

Last night my mom told me she hated me. That she didn’t wanna see me on Christmas. Her family said I can come spend the Christmas with them.

Where's your dad?  Can you talk to him?.