Jamison Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 Hi A piece of advice needed regarding my current relationship. My (now probably ex)girlfriend broke up with me because (according to her) I do not show her enough respect and romance. One example - we had a nice romantic afternoon in nature. I took her to my favourite places and she loved it. On the way back home she thanked me wholeheartedly for the day and said she had lovely time. I responded with "no problem". That made her hurt (which I totally do not understand). What is wrong with it? She also does not enjoy my "yep, yep" instead of "yes". I never tell her she is beautiful. I always seem to disappoint her in some way and have to ask her to give me another chance not to screw things up again. I make her cry a lot. When talking about manners, she asked me whether I think it is ok to just fart around her versus strangers freely and also why formal language was developed. I told her that I just do not care and these things are not important for me and they should not be for her either. I asked her for approximately 50th chance to be given to me me today. I just probably think she is no good for anyone and therefore I keep acting as if I could do anything and she will just put up with it and keep loving me. Do I need to find another girlfriend ? Do tell me she is just too sensitive and I will find someone who is completely ok not with just the things listed above. Am fed up with having to apologize. She says I do not deserve her. Thanks. Jamison Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 5 minutes ago, Jamison said: I responded with "no problem". That made her hurt (which I totally do not understand). What is wrong with it? She probably just wants a little more, no problem is ok I suppose, but maybe make her feel a bit more appreciated, I had a lovely time also I enjoy every minute in your company and give her a nice squeeze and hug, if she is a refined type of girl she may expect similar behaviour from you, she perhaps feels you are a little cold and unemotional, You can adapt be more gentlemanly or else look for a woman who is not so much into that "touchy feely" stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 18 minutes ago, Jamison said: Am fed up with having to apologize. She says I do not deserve her. She needs something that isn't natural for you. You can try to change, but since you're already fed up I'm guessing that's not going to happen - and there is no reason it should. Free yourself to find someone that appreciates what you have to offer and let her find someone who meets with her expectations. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 It sounds to me as if you're basically incompatible. What attracted the two of you to each other? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 You are not compatible. She wants a gentleman that can put full sentences together. Let her ho. Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 6 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Let her ho. Freudian slip?! 2 hours ago, Jamison said: I make her cry a lot. Honey, you are not saying or doing anything which would make someone cry unless they are really into crying. You got comfortable around her and relaxed and she doesn't like it/you. And you don't like being criticised or nagged to change. Move on to someone who can accept that people fart and don't behave formally 24/7... You're already wanting to change each other and that only works well in sit-coms and movies. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 She sounds like a drama queen - I take my hat of to you tolerating her criticism of you for so long. For what it's worth, you sound much like my husband who I absolutely adore. There are plenty of low maintenance women out there, so don't settle for drama when you can have a woman who will let one rip in bed beside you. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 3, 2021 Share Posted January 3, 2021 (edited) Agree, you're incompatible. Date women who are not this pedantic. However you can improve communication in general when dating . That means try to engage a bit more and not use one-word replies. Edited January 3, 2021 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 3, 2021 Share Posted January 3, 2021 21 hours ago, Jamison said: I told her that I just do not care and these things are not important for me and they should not be for her either. You find another GF. The above is why this won't work. She wants somebody more formal & "proper" than you care to be. It's OK for you to chose how you want to live your life. It's not OK for you to tell her how to live hers; similarly she is wrong for trying to change you. You are incompatible. Link to post Share on other sites
JRabbit Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 Ugh its exhausting and also a red flag imo when someone tries to control every single move you have including what words you use. This will only get worse, I guarantee it. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 Agree. Grammar nazis tend to be social climbers and wannabes. Avoid people who are not comfortable with themselves or confident. Link to post Share on other sites
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