Hojashojas Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 I’m in my mid thirties and have been dating my 33 year old girlfriend for 2 years now. I travel a lot for work so I only see her on weekends. She’s very caring, pretty and driven. Some weekends with her are fun and sometimes I feel I love her. However, I find her to be very negative sometimes and also not a lot of fun. Plus, sex is not great. We don’t have sex often. She’s been making big plans for us for a while now and wants to start looking for a baby in a few months. I’m a bit hesitant and I can’t make up my mind. She really wants to make our relationship work and I feel guilty. I don’t know if I really love her or not. Also, I can’t help thinking that if I break up with her I’ll destroy her and I would feel really guilty. I would have wasted 2 important years for her as her fertility is already in decline. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 She'll be fine. Don't string her along . She is under the impression things are good, when they're not. Have a frank but kind ending and set both yourselves free to find what you want. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 1 hour ago, Hojashojas said: 33 year old girlfriend for 2 years now..... I would have wasted 2 important years for her as her fertility is already in decline. What happened from 20 to 31? Over ten years waisted by her and you are questioning two??? That's her clock, if it was important to her, she should have looked after it long before now.... 1 hour ago, Hojashojas said: I travel a lot for work so I only see her on weekends. …. I find her to be very negative sometimes and also not a lot of fun. Plus, sex is not great. We don’t have sex often. She’s been making big plans for us for a while now and wants to start looking for a baby in a few months. Her clock is ticking, she has found you as her beta provider that is only around on weekends.... She is only having "Not great" sex with you to hook you in.... it's not often because you are not the type of man she wants to have sex with... Red Flags everywhere… You are No#1 for entrapment. DO NOT have sex with her.... If it all turns pair shaped and she gets preggo get a DNA test ASAP. 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: She'll be fine. Don't string her along . She is under the impression things are good, when they're not. Have a frank but kind ending and set both yourselves free to find what you want. ^^^^^ This sooner than later^^^^^ Protect yourself, this girl is on a mission and you do not want to be part of it!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
JRabbit Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 If you can't make up your mind about a baby, please PLEASE don't have a baby right now. That is something you should be absolutely certain about, and the person you are having the baby with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 7 hours ago, Hojashojas said: I’m a bit hesitant and I can’t make up my mind. She really wants to make our relationship work and I feel guilty. I don’t know if I really love her or not. Also, I can’t help thinking that if I break up with her I’ll destroy her and I would feel really guilty. I would have wasted 2 important years for her as her fertility is already in decline. This is NOT a good reason to stay with someone!! It's clear that you know deep down that you are not into this relationship. You say SHE wants to make the relationship work. It's not your responsibility to stay with her just to avoid hurting her if you break up. You are wasting your time AND her time by stringing her along in a relationship that you know isn't working. PLEASE do not have a baby with her. That would be just wrong, bringing a baby into a relationship that is almost certainly going to fall apart at some point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
maggiemtn Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 (edited) As a 35F who wants kids and recently got dumped by someone who said the same thing to me essentially, (“I don’t know” about our relationship), you’re doing her a favor by ending it. Guilt is not a reason to stay in any relationship. When the right person comes along, you won’t question whether you love them. Maybe I won’t have kids anymore since I’m newly single and am getting older, but that’s way better than having kids with someone who isn’t all in on our relationship and would ultimately end and then there are innocent kids in the middle. Better to end it now. Sorry you’re going through this. Edited January 5, 2021 by maggiemtn 1 Link to post Share on other sites
maggiemtn Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 (edited) 16 hours ago, Caauug said: What happened from 20 to 31? Over ten years waisted by her and you are questioning two??? That's her clock, if it was important to her, she should have looked after it long before now.... Her clock is ticking, she has found you as her beta provider You are No#1 for entrapment. DO NOT have sex with her.... If it all turns pair shaped and she gets preggo get a DNA test ASAP. What even is this. Many women have to work full-time, have relationships that thought were going to work and then didn’t, all kinds of circumstances where they want children but it doesn’t happen for one reason or another. None of that means she “wasted” her child-bearing years or that they weren’t important to her. The rest of your comment doesn’t even warrant replying to, it’s so off-base and rude. Edited January 5, 2021 by maggiemtn 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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