WildZebra Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 I have a crush on a famous YouTuber. It's already been a year now. I know it sounds crazy, but at some point I had a strange feeling that he is the one for me. I've never dreamed of dating or marrying a famous person (on the contrary, I want someone simple and humble) - but with this guy... I just can't help feeling it's something special. Of course, I can be mistaken - and it's easy to make a mistake when it comes to such things. So I really need advice. I have only one question: is there any chance for me to attract his attention (me being a humble subscriber) - or am I really crazy and should give it up as an unrealistic dream? Thank you in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 15 minutes ago, WildZebra said: am I really crazy and should give it up as an unrealistic dream? I think the most you can get is a 'follow back' or a 'like' from him. These guys are super popular, you know - you'll be one among a thousand of groupies. That said, I heard social media / online people who think themselves famous or on a higher hierarchy love the attention and would do anything for their attention-seeking fix. Almost like a form of emotional extortion, if you will? They're not all very nice people when you scratch the surface, and they have an ego the size of the whole solar system. Or maybe he'll notice you from his mass of groupies one day when he's bored or a bit curious? Or he's Julia Roberts, you're Hugh Grant and it's Notting Hill all over again (won't bet on it though). In the meantime, enjoy his videos (are they good, at least?)! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 Slide in his DMs Link to post Share on other sites
JRabbit Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 Who he is on YouTube likely isn't who he truly "is". this is usually a way for the mind to chase love without the real risk of rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WildZebra Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 As far as I know, he's pretty humble (at least, his friends and fellow YouTubers say it), but of course I don't know for sure... All in all, he seems a nice guy. Thanks, anyway. I'll try not to think about him that much... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 (edited) 17 minutes ago, WildZebra said: As far as I know, he's pretty humble (at least, his friends and fellow YouTubers say it), but of course I don't know for sure... All in all, he seems a nice guy. Thanks, anyway. I'll try not to think about him that much... If you know this for sure, then here is my advice: Take a deep breath, and reach out to him. I personally would not do this for just 'a crush' though; only do this if you have genuine intentions towards him, and keep your fingers crossed it is reciprocated and that he agrees to share a bit of who he is really is with you. Edited January 5, 2021 by Emilie Jolie 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WildZebra Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 Thank you so much! You brought back hope to me Yes, at least I can try. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WildZebra Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 But, um... what should I say to him? It feels a bit scary just to think of it (consireding my feelings). Will a simple comment on his video do? (Of course, I'll try to hide my personal interest) Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 3 minutes ago, WildZebra said: But, um... what should I say to him? It feels a bit scary just to think of it (consireding my feelings). Will a simple comment on his video do? (Of course, I'll try to hide my personal interest) I don't think you need to have a plan in place. I wouldn't know how to plan this in advance to be honest. I assume you're genuinely interested in his platform / content at this point, not him as person necessarily as you don't really know who he is? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JRabbit Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 19 minutes ago, WildZebra said: It feels a bit scary just to think of it (consireding my feelings) You don't know this person, it is not possible to have feelings for them. You have feelings for what you have made up about them in your head. I would stay off their channel, and spend some time with friends and maybe try looking locally to you for a love interest who is tangible. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WildZebra Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 I already took a break from watching his channel for a long time. It wasn't much help, to be honest. I'm currently on a 'time-out', and I really miss him - well, his content, which is very informative and helpful btw. He has charisma and a very engaging personality - maybe that's because I'm drawn to him so much. Many people like him... I'm honestly trying to find someone who is easier to approach, but the guys I'm communicating with at the moment are nowhere near as attractive as he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 1 minute ago, WildZebra said: I already took a break from watching his channel for a long time. It wasn't much help, to be honest. I'm currently on a 'time-out', and I really miss him - well, his content, which is very informative and helpful btw. He has charisma and a very engaging personality - maybe that's because I'm drawn to him so much. Many people like him... I'm honestly trying to find someone who is easier to approach, but the guys I'm communicating with at the moment are nowhere near as attractive as he is. Do you mind if I ask how old you are? YouTube personalities put on an act. That’s what all public figures do; whether they are tv or movie stars, famous athletes, artists, or even politicians. The public persona is ALWAYS different than the private persona. Also, do you know how many lawsuits for sexual harassment there are against YT personalities? Some of those people are using YT to fulfill their very dysfunctional behaviors with minors. For instance, there is a YT male singer who went to prison b/c he sought out inappropriate photos from his fans who were minors. He even sent them inappropriate photos of himself, to groom them sexually. Why don’t you take a a break from YT altogether and try to focus on doing other more constructive things with your time? I know that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and social interaction is limited to virtual and not in-person. A crush on a well known personality is innocent until it crosses the line into constantly following this person everywhere they go online. Are you at that point now, where you know this YT person’s every move online? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 It wouldn't hurt to message him. There's a big YouTuber I watch sometimes whose boyfriend is a regular guy who's not a social media star. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 14 minutes ago, WildZebra said: I already took a break from watching his channel for a long time. It wasn't much help, to be honest. I'm currently on a 'time-out', and I really miss him - well, his content, which is very informative and helpful btw. He has charisma and a very engaging personality - maybe that's because I'm drawn to him so much. Many people like him... I'm honestly trying to find someone who is easier to approach, but the guys I'm communicating with at the moment are nowhere near as attractive as he is. That's confusing, sorry. I'm not sure I'm following what you're saying? You can't watch his channel because you miss him as a person? Link to post Share on other sites
Ollie180 Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 44 minutes ago, WildZebra said: I'm honestly trying to find someone who is easier to approach, but the guys I'm communicating with at the moment are nowhere near as attractive as he is. They never will be, because they’re not up against him, they’re supposed against your perfect perception of him! not saying he can’t be a good guy, but just that your mind automatically fills in all the blanks about him.. like when we watch a movie. So he becomes more perfect than any person can be. As it so happens I know a girl who is pretty famous online. I’d class her as a good friend and, so of course I think she’s great BUT I don’t know how to explain it.. it’s not that she ‘puts on an act online’ Ive seen some of her stuff I think she is quite authentic, if you asked me I’d be like ‘yeah she’s herself’, but she gets a fair few guys that you know slide into her dms and that, and the thing that always staggers me when she shows me some of the messages is how little they really know her..... like they think they do, they’ll reference something she’s really into or a place she’s been, but everything around that doesn’t mesh up with who she is, as In like the girl I know that comes to the pub with us. I think it’s cause they’ve filled in the blanks with their own perceptions. A bit like, you know if a boat is like 1 degree of course it’s not so bad, but if you keep going in that direction for a thousand miles you’ll end up at totally the wrong destination. I mean like, absolutely shoot your shot girl, what have you got to lose!? ...But I’d be careful about measuring other guys up against him! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 2 minutes ago, Ollie180 said: They never will be, because they’re not up against him, they’re supposed against your perfect perception of him! not saying he can’t be a good guy, but just that your mind automatically fills in all the blanks about him.. like when we watch a movie. So he becomes more perfect than any person can be. As it so happens I know a girl who is pretty famous online. I’d class her as a good friend and, so of course I think she’s great BUT I don’t know how to explain it.. it’s not that she ‘puts on an act online’ Ive seen some of her stuff I think she is quite authentic, if you asked me I’d be like ‘yeah she’s herself’, but she gets a fair few guys that you know slide into her dms and that, and the thing that always staggers me when she shows me some of the messages is how little they really know her..... like they think they do, they’ll reference something she’s really into or a place she’s been, but everything around that doesn’t mesh up with who she is, as In like the girl I know that comes to the pub with us. I think it’s cause they’ve filled in the blanks with their own perceptions. A bit like, you know if a boat is like 1 degree of course it’s not so bad, but if you keep going in that direction for a thousand miles you’ll end up at totally the wrong destination. I mean like, absolutely shoot your shot girl, what have you got to lose!? ...But I’d be careful about measuring other guys up against him! I think contacting a YT personality expecting a romantic connection is unrealistic as that borders on the fanatical. As you aptly pointed out with your YT celebrity friend’s DM’s from male fans; they message her as if she’s their close personal friend - as though they have intimate knowledge of who she is off of YT. The reality is: fans have no clue who their celebrity crush is in real life. Even what is published in magazines isn’t accurate or a true representation of who a celebrity is behind the limelight. OP, I don’t know how old you are, but I think you’re playing with fire if you think contacting your YT celebrity crush will yield results of a romantic connection for you. Are you old enough to date? That’s a serious question. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WildZebra Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 Of course, I'm not expecting any romantic connection with him - at this point that would be insane. I'm old enough to date (and even a bit older). I understand I'm acting like a teenager, and it's aufully embarrassing... In fact, I didn't expect it from myself like at all, but I mean... you can fall in love at any age, can't you? He runs an educational channel, and I started watching it for educational purposes only - the content is really good. But then... I don't know how my sympathy grew into something more than just admiration and respect. Or maybe it's just because of the pandemic and all the restrictions... Normally I wouldn't binge watch YT and would go out more, go on real dates - but now, being stuck at home, I naturally began to spend more time online. And somehow I grew addicted to thus guy's channel. Thanks to all of you for your advice! I'll have to think more about it, I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 On 1/4/2021 at 10:06 AM, WildZebra said: is there any chance for me to attract his attention (me being a humble subscriber) - or am I really crazy and should give it up as an unrealistic dream? It's a crazy unrealistic dream. As you insightful point out it's probably born of Covid, boredom & loneliness. About the only way this could possibly work is if you can network your way into an introduction. Ever hear of 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon? It's a play off 6 degrees of separation & means that somehow, some way, people are connected. So if you can find someone who knows someone who knows someone who is actually a genuine friend / colleague in this YT's life & you can convince that person to introduce you to the YT, maybe. If you can't make that happen, this is a celebrity crush, a fun daydream, but otherwise doomed to the ether. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WildZebra Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 Actually, I already made contact with one of his friends (who's also a fellow YouTuber) - by way of accidentally winning his book (he already sent it to me). But the interaction was very short and more 'business-like', so to speak. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 (edited) C’mon, it’s YouTube. That kind of “fame” is a dime a dozen.... Obviously, I don’t know how big of an personality/influencer this person is. If you are trying to hit up someone with 10s/100s of millions of subscribers like prime PewDiePie, it’s probably way different. At that point, it might be even hard to get them to notice you wrote them something, let alone date them.. But people YouTube date people that they met through their fan base all the time. Just chill and treat them like you would anyone else. If they are as cool and down to earth as you seem to think they are, their YouTube fame won’t be a big deal and you just have a nice convo. Talk about their content and the subjects of their videos. You got a lot of material to go on here. As long as you don’t expect a romantic relationship or any relationship at all, doesn’t hurt to try. Remember, depending on how many people they reach, you will probably just be a voice in very large sea of people Edited January 5, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, WildZebra said: you can fall in love at any age, can't you? Yes but it's just a bit of harmless infatuation at this point, right? I don't want to rain on your parade, but you still don't know him. At all, in fact. Unless it was just a turn of phrase, in which case as you were 🙂. Edited January 6, 2021 by Emilie Jolie 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 Celebrity crushes have been around forever. So? As long as you enjoy your crush and on a realistic level, know that's what it is. You can swoon as much as you like. No harm, no foul. It's not as if some rockstar is suddenly going to appear at your door. In the meantime make sure you interact with and date real- life boys as usual. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 Making themselves attractive so that viewers form a crush on them and keep watching their videos is probably a vital component of being a youtube celebrity. I would think that if they interact with other people in a serious way through their channels, those people they're most likely to interact with would also be celebrities/social influencers. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 15 hours ago, WildZebra said: Actually, I already made contact with one of his friends (who's also a fellow YouTuber) - by way of accidentally winning his book (he already sent it to me). But the interaction was very short and more 'business-like', so to speak. That's not exactly what I am talking about. The "friend" was nice to you because the friend was contractually required to be nice; you won the contest. The friend won't remember your name or be able to pick you out of a line up. You don't have a relationship with the friend who will introduce you. If you can cultivate that without crossing into stalker, fine. Otherwise enjoy the fantasy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JRabbit Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 (edited) 17 hours ago, WildZebra said: you can fall in love at any age, can't you? You can't be in love with someone you have never met. It is infatuation. How much time in a week, would you say you spend on YouTube? Edited January 6, 2021 by JRabbit 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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