dogtrain Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 Title says it all really... She would refer to him as "An old friend", but I found out that it was her ex. When I asked her what that was about, she would give me replies like "Oh, I was scared to tell you, because of my past"... Anyways, she told me not to worry, as they were only friends. They tried to have a relationship a few years ago, but things just didn't work out. GUT-FEELING HAS ALREADY KICKED IN HARD. They began to hang out more and more, and our relationship began to feel more.. Weird? Being intimate slowly died. And all of a sudden, she couldn't see a future together, and gave me all these "excuses" why we couldn't be together anymore. Shortly after our relationship ended, she got together with him. I've been told this, by a mutual friend. He showed me a picture of them, and boy, she looked different. Lost so much weight (not looking healthy, and not smiling at all). We never took a picture together, without her smiling. Maybe just random, I don't know. Breakup happened about 4 Months ago, have been strict NC from day 1. I've mentioned it to a few friends, and they all the say same.. "That won't last", "Just wait, she will come crawling"... Meh, if that was the case, would I even want her back? I feel like such an idiot for believing her, when all the red-flags were there... Just felt like venting.. Things like these aren't easy man.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tart6245 Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 I always beware of single men when you're dating someone. Ask yourself - did your ex allow you to hang out with single girls alone? I am pretty sure my ex would not like it if I gave my number out to a single girl. My ex had an experience like that over the summer where this single guy pursued her. She played dumb (or maybe she really was naïve) when I pointed out he only wanted to see her alone and not with me around. I never know how that ended, but she always acted weird about him. I think there was probably more to that story than I realized. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 Vent away but also give yourself a pat on the back. You recognized warning signs when you saw them. This experience should teach you that you can trust yourself. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hpchic Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 When you’re in love you believe what you want to believe but that gut feeling has a way of creeping up to tell you something is off! Don’t be too hard on yourself, we’ve all trusted someone we shouldn’t have at some point in our lives. I agree it won’t last because relationships that begin that way tend not to, and if it didn’t work out before chances are it won’t work out now, so she’s the real fool, not you. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 Sorry this happened. How long were you dating? Unfortunately it sounds like she's been in touch with him this whole while hoping to reconcile. How long after they broke up, did you two start dating? Do you think you were a rebound? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 Sorry to hear this, OP. I think she's probably always harbored hope that they would reunite and when opportunity presented itself, she leaped at it. Your instincts were absolutely correct that this wasn't just an old friend and not totally innocent, so you know you can trust your gut in the future. And no, it would be a mistake to take her back if she ever tried. She evidently wasn't that invested in you the first time around, or she wouldn't have given this guy a second thought. As such, she wouldn't be coming back to you for the right reasons and would probably eventually leave again. Good for you for sticking to NC. Ask your friends not to share updates about her anymore. This one was over before it was officially over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dogtrain Posted January 6, 2021 Author Share Posted January 6, 2021 2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this happened. How long were you dating? Unfortunately it sounds like she's been in touch with him this whole while hoping to reconcile. How long after they broke up, did you two start dating? Do you think you were a rebound? We were dating for a bit over a year. And yes. They've been in contact all the time we've been dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 (edited) 11 minutes ago, dogtrain said: And yes. They've been in contact all the time we've been dating. That stinks. But at least you know you made the right choice ending it. No one wants to get caught in the crossfire of anyone else's on/off drama. Now you can regroup and move forward in peace, knowing she's flaky and you dodged a bullet. Edited January 6, 2021 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
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