ATT1C0S Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 (edited) So at the end of July 2020 I met a girl online on an adult website, it was a long distance relationship she was advertising adult pictures of herself and gave people who asked, her name on F.B. messanger, so I asked and we started talking, I had little human interaction all summer because of corona and I left my friend group because they treated me like garbage constantly so meeting her gave me a huge boost in my mood and mental status. Anyway she sends a few pictures but eventually we just start talking about non-sexual things and we have quite a bit in common so I geniunly cared for her and enjoyed spending time with her. One day she sends me a picture of her asking what I would do to her in a clearly sexual manner, so I responded in kind and she really liked the sound of that do she wanted me to draw that on the picture she sent me so I did, she seemed to enjoy that a lot because she sent me more pictures of her asking to be drawn on, so I obliged, we do that for a while and go to bed, now whenever we talk we would still talk about non-sexual things but she would still send pictures asking to be drawn on so I would comply and draw on them, some of them I would draw hearts and stuff on her to show her how I really felt about her, but she seemed more interested in the more adult in nature drawings. So time passes and 1 day she just completely vanishes, she stops responding to my messages and completely ignores me at first I thought she was busy in life which is understandable but even when we were on together so I figured she just wanted some time apart so I give her a month and message her again, still no response for a week, so I took that as she no longer wishes to talk with me so I stop using F.B. messanger. Then on New Year's eve I sent her a holiday card I had made for her and in the time since my last message in November and New Year's, she had sent me one more picture of her and deleted the account in between. But after being alone for so long and after thinking to myself I've come to the conclusion that I owe her an apology for the way I've treated her, it was degrading, humiliating, objectifying, and disrespectful. I was thinking only on my urges to keep her talking with me, I didn't want to be alone and doing that was the only way I knew she would keep talking with me. It was selfish of me to keep drawing on her pictures. No one deserves to be treated like that. If someone asked you to punch them as hard as you could would you still do it knowing it could hurt them? What about someone you care about? See what I mean, but now her account is gone I have no way of apologizing to her, what should I do? Edited January 6, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed explicit language Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 8 minutes ago, ATT1C0S said: If someone asked you to punch them as hard as you could would you still do it knowing it could hurt them? That's what happened to Harry Houdini. He asked for, and received a punch to his gut but it happened faster than he was prepared for so he couldn't tighten his muscles and ultimately he suffered organ damage and he died a premature death. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 I doubt she was ever looking for more from you than the sexual picture exchange. It meant more to you because you were lonely, but she got from you exactly what she was seeking. She probably stopped communicating with you when she realized you wanted more than just a sexually based exchange. You don't owe her an apology. Try regular online dating type apps/sites if you want respectful interactions that might lead to something more meaningful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 Dude, you aren't the first guy this girl has done this to. She's getting off on this stuff and when you sent the "heart" thing that is why she wanted to get back to sex stuff. She's not looking for love but to satisfy her fetish. She really wanted you to ramp it up and when you didn't she moved on to someone else who would. Link to post Share on other sites
JRabbit Posted January 6, 2021 Share Posted January 6, 2021 I'm sorry, but it seems she wanted to keep things sexual so you didnt think there was anything more and would continue to be a paying customer. You do not owe her an apology. I would try and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 7, 2021 Share Posted January 7, 2021 (edited) You're looking to reasons to hang on to a woman who's disappeared and more excuses to contact her. She instigated the sexual conversations, and tried to keep them sexual, so I highly doubt she needs or wants an apology. There is none warranted here. You can be sure that you were not the only man in her contacts talking to her like this, either. I get it stings that she's cut you out, but you need to stop trying to contact her. For all you know, she has a boyfriend now (or perhaps she always did) or she's married and he found out what she's been up to online. Or her kid found the account. Or she plain got tired of it and stopped. Her silence is your cue that she didn't share the feelings you had, and doesn't wish to hear from you. In the future, don't get attached to women you meet on adult websites. They're generally not there looking for boyfriends. Was this a paid site, by the way? Edited January 7, 2021 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 7, 2021 Share Posted January 7, 2021 Try regular dating apps rather than sex-chat, sex-cam, etc. sites. It's wrong to disrespect people no matter what they do for a living, especially when you partake in it. Unfortunately this sounds like a lot of self-loathing guilt and shame. Work on that. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 7, 2021 Share Posted January 7, 2021 You didn't disrespect her. This is how she makes a living. You were nothing more then a customer to her, a faceless cyber sex buddy. For all you know she wasn't a real person. You never met her. She came into your "life" at a time when you were down & vulnerable: during a pandemic when you were on the outs with your friends. You used her to fill a void but you imbued way to much meaning into a meaningless cyber encounter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ATT1C0S Posted January 7, 2021 Author Share Posted January 7, 2021 I see, thank you everyone for your words and for help helping me. I really needed it. But yeah it seems I deluded myself so I wouldn't feel so alone. She was doing this for free but sometimes she would instigate conversations with me about non-sexual things so I thought she must have seen more in me than someone to fulfill her fetish. Also, stillafool, you stated "You aren't the first guy this girl has done this to." Would you happen to know someone who had a similar experience or actually know the girl I'm talking about? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 7, 2021 Share Posted January 7, 2021 2 hours ago, ATT1C0S said: Also, stillafool, you stated "You aren't the first guy this girl has done this to." Would you happen to know someone who had a similar experience or actually know the girl I'm talking about? I realize you didn't address me, but I can offer a personal anecdote. I have a friend who was doing this sort of thing. Nobody knew anything about it until her husband stumbled across something on her phone one day. And it wasn't paid, either. It seemed she enjoyed the attention and "thrill" of feeling wanted, of feeling sexually desired, without actually having a physical affair. After it all came out, she told me she had been lonely a long time in her marriage and loved the immediate gratification she got from these online guys. She swears she had no intention of meeting any of them (it's unclear whether she actually ever did so or not) Yes, it was terribly selfish of her and it ultimately ended her marriage. But I can tell you there was certainly more than one man she regularly communicated with. You know nothing about this woman, is the point. You don't know if she's married, has kids, is a minor, or is even using her own photos. It is best to stay away from these sorts of people because you are too emotionally vulnerable right now and bound to wind up infusing too much meaning into what is primarily just sexting with a stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted January 7, 2021 Share Posted January 7, 2021 (edited) Sure, apologize to her if you can find a way and if it will hope you feel better. But don’t assume that she will want to continue talking to you or whatever.You might be doing that thing a lot of people here do where someone loses interest and they think that it’s totally their fault. She could’ve stop talking to you for any reason under the sun. She sent you the nude pictures voluntarily and also enjoyed the more adult drawings. You find it morally wrong, but I see nothing here that suggests that she does. So you could just be assuming that. Edited January 7, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
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