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No remorse for cheating


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Lifegoeson12

I found out a guy I’ve been dating for about 5/6 months cheated on me. I found solid proof for anyone asking.  I asked him about it and he blew it off. I haven’t spoken to him since. 
 

I know it sounds ridiculous but I was hoping he’d admit it. I’m still in shock that he done it. He treated me like a queen when we where together and I genuinely felt like he cared. Anyway we haven’t spoken now in about 5/6 days. 
 

To be 100% truthful I 99% would’ve walked away like I did but had he asked for another go and shown remorse that 1% might’ve been enough for me to be able to move past it and maybe try again. 
 

I felt I handled it well at the start but now I’m starting to miss him. I know it’s normal after a break up but I’m sad that he ruined it by cheating and sad that he didn’t even care enough to even want to try make amends. 
 

I really don’t know what to feel! I’m ok with the break up, I know they come with these feelings I’m more hurt about being dismissed and the ignoring. 
 

and before anyone says why don’t I contact him? I said what I had to say and I think it’s his decision to now get in touch. We never officially ended it but obviously with the cheating im Assuming he knows its over, that or he’s waiting for me to cool down which could take a long time. 

I know it’s not normal lol but what is the normal response of someone who’s been caught cheating? I’ve never experienced it before. 

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I don't understand why you hope he'll admit to the cheating.

He knows he cheated, you know he cheated, and he knows you know he cheated.

The admission would be superfluous.

Did you mean that you hope he apologizes and expresses remorse? Well clearly he didn't respond that way so why would you expect him to be different in a day, or a week, or a year?

Of greater concern is that you're still entertaining the notion of staying with him should he choose to contact you and act in a way that you would consider to be appropriate even though it wouldn't be sincere.

 

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I think it’s only normal to expect that someone would accept responsibility and apologize/be remorseful. It is the right and kind thing to do. That said, what you expect and what he has done are two very different things here. 

The fact that he didn’t show you this basic human decency says one of two things to me, either he your relationship didn’t matter very much to him and/or he’s just that kind of human being...

Either way, you would do well to walk away and never talk to the man again. Best wishes. 

Edited by BaileyB
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1 hour ago, Lifegoeson12 said:

I know it’s not normal lol but what is the normal response of someone who’s been caught cheating? I’ve never experienced it before. 

A lot of cheaters will deny, even in the face of evidence. 

Be glad you found out now that he doesn't give a crap, as opposed to wasting any more time with him. The truth is that when someone does this and shows no remorse, they don't care much about you to begin with. So, hoping they'll come around and apologize is a lost cause. 

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10 hours ago, Lifegoeson12 said:

. I found solid proof 
 

 I was hoping he’d admit it. 

Sorry to hear that. How did you catch him and who is he cheating with? 

What was his reaction when you confronted him?

How did you meet? How often did you see each other in person?

Was it understood that you were exclusive?

If he's still dating others or on/off with an ex, he's not that into you, so just let it go.

23 dating weeks is long enough to know that you are not compatible in terms of exclusivity or goals.

 

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You should be pissed off! angry that he did that to you...all his sweetness was him blowing smoke up you butt. He manipulated you into thinking he was this wonderful guy...it was all an act hun...so snap out of it. He's a jerk.

Edited by smackie9
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