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What AP of 10 years says to me when he thinks he's dying


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3 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

His marriage from day one was always happy. Savannah was just "extra".

So happy that...8 years! Let's see how well that "love" is going to work without BJ-s on the side.  

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HadMeOverABarrel
8 hours ago, Savannah2 said:

was just a crutch, a bandaid 

Oh Savannah, I feel your pain. Now you're just starting to see the truth. After time, you're going to feel extreme anger about this situation. You'll have a ton to unpack. Please start seeking support...groups, counseling. You have a long road of recovery ahead to come to terms with all this. Focus on your self-care now. Put him, and everything about him, behind you. He's not a great guy. He's not even a decent human. 

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It’s a great time for you to gift yourself a fresh start. 
have you looked for a new job? Preferably in a new area.

it may help you embrace change.

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@Savannah2 said in her previous post 3 years ago that MM wanted to stop the affair because he thought that it brought him bad karma and blamed her.  Several posters provided great advices back then, but she didn't seem to take any. 

 

 

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Once he passes, it is over between you both. How would it be helpful to expose the grieving wife and family that this guy was a bum? How is it fair to them to grieve his death while grieving that he betrayed them, as well? It’s not about YOU. 
 

I don’t blame him. You know he is married and you are playing with fire. His family loving him means more to him for all eternity, not your pride and feelings. 

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On 1/18/2021 at 1:45 PM, Lorryborry said:

I agree totally with this.  It's a high like no other.  But the low is the pits of hell. Neural pathways have to be reset. Only way is by staying away from source.  That will settle it down.  I got so attached in my situation.   I didn't know enough about this life of married men and affairs. Was just never in my life until I made poor decisions around bereavement.  Its definitely chemical.   But when we know all this we got to be strong.  These married guys are destructive. They dont care.   They are a different make up and do not have integrity and are bad news. They should stay to f away from vulnerable woman.  I'm not saying we have no choice far from it but I think they prey when we need support.  That's how I feel today. 

You are also married with no integrity. “Damsel in distress” isn’t an excuse.

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Why would you want to break his wife’s heart if her H died and then finding out he was a low life cheater?

 

why would you want her to know about you? In some parts of the world, she could sue you for alienation of affection.

 

would you feel loved and be proud if the world knew you had an affair?

 

I would think your answer to him would be - absolutely! No one will ever know because I am equally as ashamed.

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Matildag, What are you talking about? I never said I wanted to tell his wife

also I’m not married anymore and I never played the damsel In distress 

 

Edited by Savannah2
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Also he can take his karma theory and blow it. How about just taking accountability for his actions instead of blaming the universe? If anything, all it shows is some insight into how he viewed his relationship with me as one that bestowed upon him bad things. Maybe if he would have loved me he wouldn’t have felt that way about it. He could somehow justify it because he loved me too. But he didn’t love me. So all he felt was shame, guilt, snd remorse. 
 

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11 hours ago, matildag said:

Once he passes, it is over between you both. How would it be helpful to expose the grieving wife and family that this guy was a bum? How is it fair to them to grieve his death while grieving that he betrayed them, as well? It’s not about YOU.

Why are you assuming this man will pass? Did I miss an update? This feels irreverent. 

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18 minutes ago, Soul-shards said:

Why are you assuming this man will pass? Did I miss an update? This feels irreverent. 

Just read the original post.  Once he does pass ~ either today or in 50 years ~ he would want the app deleted to protect his wife. Why wouldn't the AP agree? It makes sense. 

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Oh, sure. I thought he was in immediate danger due to covid.

Yes, I agree with non-disclosure here. There are 0 good reasons to choose to poison that family's life. That would be gratuitous vengefulness. Bad stuff. Very much thumbs down. 

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