If he loves us, why he left?

[SophieA2]

Is it possible to have bad luck in love? When I was 23 years old (in 2012) I went through a dark phase of my life and it all happened in less than 2 years. I met this guy, we started dating and after a month I became pregnant, unfortunately where I was born, you have to get married if you get pregnant so my parents planned a wedding and we were not happily married by June. My son's dad was immature , he drank a lot and everything about him annoyed me. 
 

So I got married in June, my mom was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of September, my dad has a stroke on December (2 weeks in a coma), my mom died a year later in September and while all that was happening I had a baby, had to deal with his father. After my mom died, I suffered from panic attacks, anxiety and depression, I went to therapy and all. So I met this guy and was completely in love with him since day one,  left my husband because of him and this new guy was like an oasis in the middle of a dessert. He moved to Europe and went to visit him 3 Times in a year, finally I moved to a city close to him with my son and a couple of month later, He moved in with us... we lived together for 3 years and my son ended up loving him and he ended up loving my son. On October he decided he wanted to move out, because people’s opinions on him dating a single mom where to much for him... I was also very insecure and possessive but he broke my trust so many times and I was there for him all the time... he left yesterday and I feel numbed, sad, exhausted... he left crying saying he loves me so much but he has to go because he cannot imagine living this life with me and my son for his whole life, he said he wants to live his life and that he will never find peace in taking care of someone else’s son (he hides us from his family and friends all the time)... I am so confused, he left crying, I could see pain in his eyes and I am here just forcing myself not to contact him... my son is sad... I am sad and numbed and so tired of pain, is like I am used to have my heart broken... I tried everything to keep him, I fought so hard for this relationship and I know healing takes time but what to do just to go through the day and accept the change? 

Edited January 11, 2021 by SophieA2

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. Are you legally divorced? Does your son's father pay child support? How were you able to move out of the country with your son if the child's father has visitation rights?

This man you moved to and lived with never intended to to stay or make this long term. That was apparent from keeping you a secret.

Can you move back home? Do you still have friends, other family or a job to go back to?

It's understandable that you ran to this man fleeing a forced marriage to an alcoholic.

However, he strung you along. He kept you a secret and knew all along about his cultural and family views on single mothers.

Hopefully you can put this behind you and move home to your own country/family.

[SophieA2]

I am legally divorced, my son's father moved to a city close to us so they get to see each other so that’s good... I have my sister here, my job and friends... it is till hard to go thought this, I feel like I am useless and scared that I’ll be alone because who will want to date a single Mom? My son is basically the only thing that keeps me strong, I’m just trying the best I can... I know bad situations don’t last... but you are right, if someone loves you they will not hide you and leave you because of what people thinks... thank you!