xforeverlove30 Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 My ex and I dated almost 6 years ago and ever since then it’s been on again off again. So the very first time he left me for someone else and then a few months later he messaged me telling me how he’s “here for me”. Then we started talking which ended up in an argument which ended up in him blocking me. Then an year after that we just casually spoke. Then an year after that he saw me in person [I noticed him stare at me the whole time he was in the hall talking to his friend] and later that night he talked to me IRL then right after started texting me. He was obviously flirting too, then I called him out for having a GF and he kind of snapped at me and blocked me telling me how I overthink things. Then a few months after that (he officially broke up with his GF a few months prior) we started talking and this time he flat out said how he’s a changed man and wants to treat me right and we kept talking but it didn’t go well and I think he blocked my iMessage or things fizzled out. Then later on a few months after this, he added me on Instagram and we started talking this time he admitted that he was still into me and we ended hooking up a few months later and kept talking here and there. He randomly out of nowhere blocked me for no apparent reason (after keeping me on all social media for almost an year). Today I reinstalled WhatsApp and I noticed a message from him “hello” and I replied “hello, who’s this” (at first I didn’t realize it was him). He left me on read. I was trying to be nice and let curiosity get the best of me (wondering what he had to say) so I texted him back and acknowledged him and asked how he is. Then he blocked me! I’m not sure if he accidentally messaged me after seeing some old WhatsApp convo but he blocked me there the whole time so I couldn’t even message him and the last messages I sent were through iMessage in June to congratulate him for graduation (the messages delivered on iMessage too). I also remembered that there was a text message from a random number with his new area code a few days ago that said the same message as WhatsApp which was “Hello” (I checked and it was sent 1 min after the WhatsApp). At the time I had no idea who tf it was and just said hello back a few hours later and it didn’t deliver (I’m assuming he blocked). I don’t understand why he’d message me then block Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 And do you understand why YOU keep replying when he resurfaces? Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 (edited) You are asking completely wrong questions here. You need to be asking yourself why you STILL CARE what he does six years after he left you for somebody else? It should not be about his behaviour but more about why you cannot put this guy into your rear view mirror for six years. You should be thinking about how YOU should've blocked him on everything six years ago and never looked back. Never replied back to him, never spoke to him in person. Who cares what he does and why he does what he does? Are you secretly hoping and wishing that one day he is going to come back to you? Right??? Edited January 12, 2021 by Alvi 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted January 12, 2021 Author Share Posted January 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: And do you understand why YOU keep replying when he resurfaces? I actually was head strong at first and dismissed him only to cave in right after. I think I have a weakness for him because I consider him my "first true love" and I feel that he's one of the only people I've truly loved and even had a rough time getting over him [in the past]. I was actually completely over him now [since our last interaction] and was happy/living my life completely forgot about him only for him to ruin my mood now. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 34 minutes ago, xforeverlove30 said: I actually was head strong at first and dismissed him only to cave in right after. I think I have a weakness for him because I consider him my "first true love" and I feel that he's one of the only people I've truly loved and even had a rough time getting over him [in the past]. I was actually completely over him now [since our last interaction] and was happy/living my life completely forgot about him only for him to ruin my mood now. you need to cut the cord on him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted January 12, 2021 Author Share Posted January 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said: you need to cut the cord on him. This is not the first time an ex has disrespected me in a similar manner [block, re-add, only to be rude and then block me right back....]. I am honestly sick and tired of these games [prior to this engagement, I was actually very happy, living my life, focusing on my passion/hobby and simply connecting with the people who are here in the present moment only to fall back into old habits] and realized I have the power to never go through this again, all I have to do is cut the person off. So, I am going to go and block all exes who have treated me wrong on every social media platform such that I never have to hear from them or be disrespected by them ever again. I do not need to see awful people nor allow them to see me/my current life [so cutting them all off is not a loss]. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 3 hours ago, xforeverlove30 said: I actually was head strong at first and dismissed him only to cave in right after. I think I have a weakness for him because I consider him my "first true love" and I feel that he's one of the only people I've truly loved and even had a rough time getting over him [in the past]. I was actually completely over him now [since our last interaction] and was happy/living my life completely forgot about him only for him to ruin my mood now. OK, you have this message in your head. You need to tell yourself he was not in fact your first true love but the guy who messed you around. He is not a nice guy, he comes and goes and plays around to get your attention and then cuts you off. He sounds a terrible person. You deserve so much better. Please consign him to a list of guys not worth a reply. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted January 12, 2021 Author Share Posted January 12, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, spiderowl said: OK, you have this message in your head. You need to tell yourself he was not in fact your first true love but the guy who messed you around. He is not a nice guy, he comes and goes and plays around to get your attention and then cuts you off. He sounds a terrible person. You deserve so much better. Please consign him to a list of guys not worth a reply. I don’t feel loved tho I just get drawn into this fantasy (that’s literally what it is) and completely dismiss reality until they show their true colors then I snap into reality and realize what a POS they truly are and always were. I was even happy until right now. Like why did I even try to analyze his behaviour earlier. Whatever his reason, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never ever see him again ever for the rest of my life. He’s a mere stranger just like the 7 billion other people on this planet. I know they come back because they see me as weak and it’s true that I am and I do fall into some fantasy but these days I’m quick to fall out of fantasy and live in the present moment. I truly do need to cut off every single bridge to communication from all of them and never allow them back nor ever feel tempted to unblock. Edited January 12, 2021 by xforeverlove30 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 If someone messes you around, just send them packing. You are then showing by your behaviour that you will not stand for it. If they find a way to get in touch later, and show remorse (true remorse) then maybe stay in touch electronically but refuse to meet. That person needs to know you mean what you say. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 You probably already know this, but you need to delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps. That way you can have peace and move forward. At some level you know this is a waste of time. But at some other level you're still drawn to this. May be a good idea to reflect on why this nonsense has this hold on you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted January 12, 2021 Author Share Posted January 12, 2021 (edited) 57 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: You probably already know this, but you need to delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps. That way you can have peace and move forward. At some level you know this is a waste of time. But at some other level you're still drawn to this. May be a good idea to reflect on why this nonsense has this hold on you When I first see his messages I would fall into some fantasy romanticizing things then when he blocks me I snap into reality. I also noticed that I would make excuses for his behaviour like I would tell myself things such as: maybe it was an accident (this I'm starting to doubt considering he went out of his way to message my number both on WhatsApp via his old number and iMessage via his new phone number) or that maybe he wanted to reconnect but felt regret or cowardly so ran off. The truth is he does these things because he is an a**h*** who preys on me to see if I'd still be down for him it feeds his ego [considering he did this for 5 years in a row now and I honestly thought it was over for good especially because he moved out of state; but nope, he had to know if he still had me for a 6th year]. Edited January 12, 2021 by xforeverlove30 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 I'm not a big proponent on blocking but there are certain times that it is warranted. This is obviously affecting your mental wellbeing so please do yourself a favor and either block or change your phone number. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 6 minutes ago, xforeverlove30 said: . The truth is he does these things because he is an a**h*** who preys on me to see if I'd still be down for him it feeds his ego. He doesn't have any of this type of power. It's not about him. It's about what are you getting out of this? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 You are very clearly this guy's (sometimes) back-up chick. He comes sniffing around between other women or when he wants his ego stroked. You have to stop volunteering in the perpetuation of your own unhappiness, and not respond to this dolt. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 Have some self respect and block him. 1 year of back and forth I could probably justify, especially if you're young and inexperienced, but 6 years? You're abusive to yourself. Sure, year after year he comes back to see if you're still there, but YOU ARE STILL THERE!! When my ex came back for more after I dumped him for being flaky and stringing me along, I blocked all the possible ways him to reach me. It was more than 4 years ago and he still tries to reach me to this day - on Linkedin of all places. Guess what - I ignored and blocked him on there too. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 Sadly I think he is just using you as an emotional crutch, when he is down or not getting attention from ladies he has you to fall back on hence he disappears and re appears every so often by the same token you should not reply to him either. Fundamentally I think he is probably insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
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